How to Get a Girl Emotionally Invested in You

If you want to learn how to make her chase you and want you sexually – whether it’s a girl you like or some woman you adore – I’ll tell you exactly how to do that.

But first, here’s the answer to the most important question: When do women start chasing you?

It’s easy – Women begin to chase you when they become emotionally invested in you and love spending time with you.

This part is crucial to understand when learning how to get a girl to invest in you.

when women start chasing you
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz

Inner Game – The Main Things To Make Her Chase You

If you want to have a lot of women chasing you, then you need to develop your personality and certain attractive character traits. To the point where they love spending their time with you and your mere presence become intoxicating to them.

That way, when you’re not around them, these women will always start to think about you and the great time you’ve spent together. Which will make them think and obsess about you further, and they’ll start to want to chase you even more. And you’ll know they’ll be very interested in you romantically!

However, that’s not an easy thing to achieve. Especially for guys who are new at the whole seduction and attraction thing. And particularly for those who have a bad inner game.

Because let’s face it – women want a man who’s secure in himself and has his shit together. Someone who has strong boundaries, is emotionally stable, imperturbable, and confident in his abilities.

Imperturbable means unable to be upset or excited; calm.

So, if you’re a blubbering mess when you’re talking to women and if you can’t even strike up a conversation with a girl and hold your own while flirting – how are you ever going to get a girl to chase you?

And that’s exactly why getting your inner game in order should be your absolute first priority when learning about being successful with women and getting them to chase you.

Now let’s move on!

5 Main Reasons Women Would Chase You

  1. Emotional Investment
  2. Your Life and Your Personality
  3. Emotional IMPACT
  4. Lack of Desperation – Many Options – Abundance Mentality – Unavailability
  5. Attractive personality traits like Leadership, Assertiveness, Independence, etc.

These are the main things that will make her want to chase you forever. Obviously, there are a few other things which will make women want to chase you, but none as important and crucial as these five.

So let’s break them all down.

1) Emotional investment is pretty self-explanatory. The more women invest in you emotionally, the more they chase you.

2) Your life and your personality matter because if you have a great one – women will want in on this!

3) Emotional Impact is all about the way you make women feel around you – so women look forward to spending time with you.

4) Abundance, many options, unavailability and so on are important because that’s what makes women miss you. When women start missing you they compete with others for you and chase you.

5) Lastly, having attractive personality traits is great because people just want to be around someone who has their shit together.

Now, I’m not going to show you some “tricks” or “super secret techniques that make all women want you and chase you.”

Instead, I’m going to delve deep into inner game. Because your Inner Game takes care of 90% of your problems with women when you’ve got it down. And trumps any cheap tactics and techniques in the long term.

If you want some actual things and “techniques” that you can use for women to want to start chasing you – so you can get laid fast, it’s near the end of the article. 

However, I highly recommend reading the Inner Game part first, because without it, those techniques will most likely fail miserably and spectacularly.

To show you exactly how to make her chase you and what girls and women of all different shapes, sizes, and ages really respond to from an inner game perspective – I’ll tackle them all, one by one.

1) Emotional Investment

Emotional investment is key to getting girls to chase you all the time.

When someone is emotionally invested in you, it means you’re constantly occupying their thoughts and mind. It means when you’re not around, they’re always thinking about you and wondering whether you like them or not. Hence, a little ambiguity will always help with getting women to pursue you.

For example, if a girl knows you’re head-over-heels in love with her, that you’d do anything for her, and that you’ll do anything to impress her – she will lose any and all interest in you quickly. Because she’s already “won” you over completely and knows she can have you at any moment. And there’s no fun in that.

As a result, there’s no more challenge in it for her and you’ll become uninteresting to her. Which will instantly prevent her from wanting to pursue you in the first place!

On the other hand, when YOU are emotionally invested in a girl – YOU start doing everything in your power to try to impress her.

This never ends well because you start to become needy, desperate, weird, and emotional around her. And remember – women don’t respect guys who are too emotional about them because they want a guy who is IMPERTURBABLE!

Women want an emotionally stable and secure guy. Someone they can rely on in various situations, and not someone who’s wishy-washy.

how to make her chase you
Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde

So, you must emotionally DIVEST yourself from women, while simultaneously making sure they emotionally INVEST in you!

You divest by doing the following:

Realize you don’t need to emotionally invest in her until she wins YOU over.

Investing in women emotionally too quickly is a huge turn-off.

We grow up with the mainstream media, with our parents, teachers, and everyone else telling us to “always be nice to women.” Always give women what they want, always make sure to bring them flowers, supplicate, and love them forever, no matter what – along with tons of other bullshit.

Society and your emotions may make you feel like you need to follow girls around, impress them all the time, wait for them, put up with their bullshit, buy them drinks, bring them flowers, drive them everywhere, etc…. But you actually don’t need to do that without a good reason.

So, from now on, don’t do anything for women they do not deserve and learn when to pursue women and when to stop doing it! And, only do something for women if you think they’d do the same thing for you as well!

For example, if you’re thinking of buying her a drink when you’re at the bar, ask yourself: “Would she buy me a drink in a similar situation?” If she wouldn’t – don’t.

If a girl asks you to drive her somewhere, ask yourself: “Would she drive me somewhere if I asked and needed a lift?” If she wouldn’t – don’t!

Learn to say “No” to women! 

Not in a mean-spirited, asshole kind of way, just to be contrarian. But in a simple “I value my time and I only do good things to people who would also reciprocate and do good things for me.”

Self-respect is a very important part of becoming successful with women and getting girls to chase you. When she sees that you respect yourself and value your time over hers – she’ll want to emotionally invest in you further, and this will make her pursue you more!

Always focus on your own fun first and foremost!

When you’re going out on the town to meet women, or when you’re on a date with a girl – you should ALWAYS focus on your fun first.

Self-amusement is a wonderful thing and it will really help you create tons of attraction.

The simple fact is – this is YOUR life. And you’re meeting this girl to see if she’d be a good addition to your life – not take it over!

Women are the dessert to a good life – not the main course. And that’s exactly how women should feel when you’re meeting them and talking to them.

In fact, women WANT TO BE THE DESSERT in an awesome man’s life. Consider this when learning how to make her chase you: If a beautiful woman comes into your life and realizes she’s the best thing you have going for you – she’ll quickly lose all attraction towards you and move on to better prospects.

Women want to be a part of something special. They want to be a part of an awesome man’s life. And if they see you’re incredibly needy, accommodating, supplicative and desperate in your actions towards them – they’ll quickly realize your life sucks and leave you.

But when I say women want to be with a man who has an awesome life, I don’t mean he has to be rich, handsome, super successful, etc.

All he has to do is have his shit together, be emotionally stable, secure, fun, and interesting to be around and spend time with. Having some hobbies he’s passionate about, as well as being able to make her feel various emotions and excitement with him from time to time. 

Most men can easily achieve this when they become emotionally mature and get their life in order.

So, if you want women to start chasing you, make sure you always focus on your fun first and foremost. This will show her you don’t have any ulterior motives, you don’t give a rat’s ass about impressing her, and make her want to pursue you even more. Because it’ll show her you have options in your life and aren’t desperate to get her to sleep with you.

Example of women pursuing you to join in your fun

As an example, imagine if you paid your favorite celebrity a lot of money to come spend a weekend with them. And, when you arrive at their place and you ask them “So what are we gonna do?”

Then they reply with “Oh, I don’t know, I don’t have anything planned, what do YOU want to do?” Wouldn’t you be PISSED? You’ve paid a lot of money because you wanted to become a part of THEIR awesome life – not make a plan of your own!

And that’s exactly how girls feel when you don’t have a plan around them. If men don’t have a plan when they’re going on a date with a girl, it’s usually going to be a shitty date.

Women want to join YOUR life – not lead you around in THEIRS. That’s exactly why you need to focus on your own fun first and foremost. And simply invite them into your life to share in the experience that is you.

You may think focusing on yourself and you having fun is rude, selfish, and an asshole thing to do, but you’d be read wrong. Because women are attracted to the ACT OF LEADING. And not necessarily the things you’re going to do together. I’ll explain this more below.

how to make a woman chase you
Photo by Matheus Ferrero

2) How to Get a Girl to Invest in You using Your Life and Your Personality

It’s all about having an awesome and interesting life you like and enjoy. Girls start chasing you when they spend time with you and see that you’re a fun, interesting, exciting, or even chill dude who enjoys life, likes where he’s at and has lots of various experiences to share.

You see, humans are wired to seek good feelings. And if you have a life that sucks – if you don’t enjoy your job, your hobbies, your friends, and everything else you’ve got going on in your life – it’ll subconsciously show in everything you do. And girls will see that your life sucks and that they’ll get no good feelings if they associate themselves with you. Which will never make them want to run after you or even spend time with you.

So, never forget your mission, never forget your goals, ambitions, and passions in life. And always try to improve yourself and the quality of your life.

Little by little, bit by bit, you’ll achieve more and more. You’ll gain more life experience, accumulate knowledge, wealth, power, friends, and everything else that makes life worth living. Women will see that you have an awesome life – or at least one you ENJOY – and they’ll want to trail you wherever you go.

3) The way you make women feel around you can make them obsess over you

The way you make women feel when they’re with you is the cornerstone of attraction and seduction.

This is what makes women love and adore bad boys so much. Do you think bad boys have problems with women obsessing over them and wonder how to make a girl chase you?

If you can make a woman feel great around you and enjoy her time with you – she’ll become addicted to you like you’re her drug. And if you can spark some sexual tension after that, then you can bet your ass she’ll want to run after you and pursue you until you sleep with her or even start a relationship together.

It’s not about what you have, it’s not about what you own, and it’s definitely not about what you do – it’s all about how you can make women feel. Because emotions are the key to true attraction and are incredibly important in creating sexual tension.

I won’t go over it in great detail this time because I’ve already done that in another in-depth article which you can find here: Why do women like bad boys and don’t respect nice guys?

If you want to understand how to make girls chase you then you need to read it and see why women massively respond to men who can evoke strong emotions in them!

4) Lack of Desperation – Many Options – Abundance Mentality – Unavailability

I’ve already briefly mentioned it before, but having an abundance mentality is very important when you’re around women. If a woman thinks you’d do absolutely anything for her in order to not lose her – she’ll never respect you. She’ll also never chase you because why would she start pursuing someone who she thinks is a loser?

And make no mistake, if you’re desperate to get laid, sex-starved, and needy – she’ll definitely think you’re a loser who has zero other options.

Fact is, having the abundance mentality makes you outcome independent with women because you don’t care as much if you lose them.

When there’s an abundance of women in your life, you automatically become someone who has high standards when it comes to women. When you meet a girl you like – you don’t instantly start jumping through hoops to do everything to please her. That’s because you don’t need this one girl because you know there are plenty of others who would gladly have fun with you. So you won’t feel bad if you lose this particular one.

Would you then tolerate bad behavior from women? Would you listen to their boring conversations when you don’t like the topic? And would you care about when girls talk about nice shoes for an hour and not change the topic? Of course, you wouldn’t!

If you’re someone who values your time and has many great things going on in your life, you won’t tolerate bullshit from women. And from anyone else, for that matter.

Women want a man who will help them grow and introduce them to a better life and a more interesting world than the one they currently inhabit.

To make her pursue you, stop being a pushover.

Women don’t want someone who always agrees with everything they say. Someone who’s a total pushover and can’t say no and express his own opinion.

Quality women want a man who’s willing to walk away at any moment. Not because he’s some jerk or asshole, but because he’s not afraid to lose them.

You see, if a man shows he’s NOT willing to walk away at any time, there’s no challenge for women or any possible growth from the experience. And women don’t want to stagnate – they want to grow and flourish as well.

However, the sad fact is that lots of men lead very uninteresting lives. So when a beautiful woman comes along, she more often than not instantly becomes the most interesting and important thing in those men’s lives. Because they’re so desperate and sex-starved they wouldn’t care if she’s being mean, bitchy, uninteresting, boring, spoiled, malicious, etc. They’re pushovers who’d do anything for her just to be with her.

Many men have no standards these days, which makes them unattractive to women. And most women will NEVER want to chase a man who has no standards, who’s desperate, needy, and doesn’t have any options. So it pays to nip neediness in the bud.

That’s why if you want to make her pursue you, you have to show you’re willing to walk away. And that you won’t tolerate any bad behavior or other bullshit!

This is easy to achieve when you actually have many girls in your life. But if you don’t have other girls who you interact with, you’ll have a difficult time radiating this vibe of abundance.

In that case, it’s possible to “fake it till you make it” and simply delude yourself a little bit to achieve the result.

If you’ve never had any abundance with women, imagine you’re some popular celebrity who gets tons of girls easily. Like Tiger Woods or Brad Pitt, or Ryan Gosling, or whatever. And think about how he’d feel and act in your situation.

Would he be needy and desperate? Would he want to know how to make girls chase you? Of course, he wouldn’t! So act like that until you achieve your abundance.

And if you ever had abundance but now you don’t, then just put yourself back into that mental space and remember that girls easily sense when you’re being desperate. So stop putting them on pedestals, especially if you think they’re out of your league.

how to make a girl chase you
Photo by Danny Kekspro

5) Leadership and other attractive traits will make women pursue you more

Being able to lead is very important to understand how to make a girl chase you. Leadership is a very attractive character trait every person greatly respects and admires in other people.

It’s one of the most attractive character traits you can embody. And the best part about it when it comes to attraction and seduction is, you don’t have to spend decades developing it.

Leading on a date or when you’re out meeting women in bars and clubs is very simple. It’s all about not asking questions like “What do you want to do?”, “What do you want to eat?”, “Where do you want to go?”, “What do you want to listen to?”, “What should we do?” and so on and so forth. And just doing stuff YOU want to do and taking her along for the ride.

Instead of asking all these questions when you’re with a girl, simply say stuff like “Let’s go eat at <whatever>”, “Let’s go do <whatever>”, etc. Instead of asking what music she’d like, put on the type of music YOU like.

This will show qualities like assertiveness, decisiveness, independence, etc. Which are very attractive to most women.

Remember, women want to experience YOUR life. They don’t want to show you theirs until they like you. So, once again, focus on having fun yourself, and invite them to experience your life. And trust in yourself that what you’re doing is fun for you – and it’ll automatically become fun for her as well.

Leading is all about having a plan and simply sticking to it.

If she doesn’t want to go along with your plan and doesn’t want to do something – she’ll tell you! If she’s not objecting, then it means she’s perfectly fine with what you’re doing. And you should continue doing whatever you were doing, without hesitation.

When you internalize taking the lead with women, it will, paradoxically, prevent you from even thinking about stuff like how to make her chase you and want you.

Just chill, relax, don’t become emotionally invested in her right off the bat, and do your thing while bringing her along for the ride.

Outer Game – Techniques To Make Girls Want To Chase You

Now it’s time to show you some the best techniques that will make her chase you.

Learn them and apply them if you want girls to invest in you and even obsess over you.

How To Make Her Chase You? Learn the word “NO!”

This one’s pretty damn self-explanatory.

If you show you’re not a doormat, women will respect you and want to spend more time with you. Show women you’ll only be nice to them and do something good for them if they DESERVE your niceness and your time.

You wouldn’t say “Yes” to an unreasonable request from a random dude, would you? So why would you accept the same request from a hot girl?

Have some damn standards and learn how to say NO when someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do. It doesn’t matter whether they have a vagina or not – stop being a “people-pleaser.” Don’t do stuff for people just to please them, if it costs you something and they won’t even appreciate it. Then many more women will respect you and want to pursue you as a romantic partner.

You see, women love a man with personal boundaries. They want to see if you have standards and aren’t a door mat, or if you’re someone who’d do ANYTHING to be with a hot girl, no matter what.

This will determine how much they like and respect you.

Fun and Lighthearted Self-Deprecation

You know how most guys will try to impress really beautiful women with their job titles, connections, things they own, how much money they make, etc.? They’re trying too hard to impress and that comes off as incredibly socially inept. Which will never make a girl want to chase you because it’s just pathetic.

But YOU, on the other hand, will never brag about yourself and may even nonchalantly say something to the tune of “Oh yeah I work at a popcorn stand” or something funny like that, with a hearty grin and a twinkle in your eye. Even though you may or may not have money or status.

It’s as if you couldn’t even be BOTHERED with trying to impress her.

This infers an inordinate amount of value right from the start. Because she’s used to guys tripping head over heels trying to prove how better they are than the next guy and why she must go with them instead. Which only displays very low self-esteem, by the way.

In fact, you don’t have to take her seriously and can joke around about your profession, how much money you make, etc. all you want. I mostly don’t tell women what I do until after I sleep with them and instead make up ridiculous or gag jobs. If they pry and really get into it and ask me and persist too much, I use the magic words “Hey, I’ll tell you later when I trust you more.”

Sometimes I even make up various silly role-play scenarios, like I’m some secret agent or an asylum inmate hiding from the law. And joke around about that relentlessly, making fun of the whole ridiculous thing.

How’s that for creating an even stronger emotional roller-coaster for her? Now there’s intrigue, now there’s mystery, now there’s the fact that I don’t give a shit about pleasing her and qualifying myself, and so on and so forth. Those emotions will make her want to chase you more than anything in the world because most girls and women love a man who can keep them on their toes.

So, don’t be a try-hard. Most hot women expect you to try and impress them. But if you do the exact opposite and even tease them about it in a fun and lighthearted way, it will work wonders. Just remember to calibrate and don’t overdo it.

Let’s do <blank>, but only if you…

This little magic formula is perfect for many occasions to create a ton of attraction and intrigue.

It’s a bit manipulative and I mostly use it for very hot girls with huge egos. It’s great though for when you’re about to pull the girl from the club to your home. Or introduce her to your friends, or take her to the dance floor, and even move her to a new venue, etc. So she’ll be much more likely to comply with you and want to chase you afterwards.

You simply say something like “Hey, LET’S go dance, BUT ONLY IF YOU don’t embarrass me in front of everyone on the dance floor.”

Or, “Hey, LET’S go meet my friends, I’ll introduce you, BUT ONLY IF YOU don’t creep them out.”

Or even “Hey, LET’S go play ping-pong at my place, it’s a few minutes away, BUT ONLY IF YOU promise not to freak out my dog (promise to keep your hands to yourself, don’t steal any of my shit, etc)”

Essentially, this again has to do with those all-important personal boundaries, even if these boundaries are somewhat comedic and fake. It shows her you’re a cool guy of high value. That you already have abundance, are not needy or desperate for her approval and are someone who she’d want to hang out with.

But what it also does, especially to hot women who are used to guys being needy and desperate near them, is show her you’re someone who’s DIFFERENT. And it plucks at their ego in a massive but very effective way.

And trust me, very beautiful women have MASSIVE egos because of their looks. Since they get validation from nearly every guy they meet in their day to day life.

When you use this technique, they’ll be thinking things like “How DARE he give me this rule. I’m like the hottest girl here, he should be BEGGING me to come to his place, like most guys do. Why isn’t he doing that? Am I not cool enough for him? Am I not hot enough for him?” And then she’ll start rationalizing, eventually getting to the conclusion that going with you will be HER idea. Because her thoughts will go to something like “I’m gonna go with him and SHOW HIM I’m the best girl there is!”

And the rest is history.


Learning how to make women chase you is a very admirable goal. But don’t forget, there’s no simple “trick” or “super special technique” which will make her want you and crave you forever and ever.

Ultimately, it’s all about developing yourself into an awesome, secure, self-confident and emotionally stable man who doesn’t easily get emotionally invested in women. And instead causes them to become invested in him!

Making her chase you is all about mastering your inner game and then showing women that you’re there for YOURSELF. And that you’re someone who they’d have a fun, interesting, or exciting time together with.

If you want to learn how to become this type of man and especially what to do on dates so women end up having a wonderful time with you, connect with you, and want to sleep with you themselves, then I’ve got something special for you.

It’ll solve your problems when it comes to dating and show you exactly how to get her to invest in you, pursue you and want to meet with you again and again. Because your presence becomes so intoxicating to her, she’ll crave you inside her.

Click Here To Find Out More: The Saulis Dating Guide or Contact us for some certified game.

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saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.

One Comment

  1. Gameke
    April 13, 2018

    I like Fun and Lighthearted Self-Deprecation. all outer and inner game are very good.

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