Here’s one of the most common problems I hear about nearly every day: Most men think that very beautiful women are out of their league.
Because of this, when they suddenly notice a gorgeous girl who they’d love to spend time with, they don’t even approach her and talk to her since they think that there’s nothing good that they can offer her. They think that she’s out of their league and that they don’t have anything of value to bring to the table.
Then comes one of the biggest excuses: “I can’t go and talk to her! She’s out of my league!”
As a result, they end up doing nothing, and lose out on yet another great opportunity and a potential new relationship.
But don’t worry, I’ll tell you exactly how to deal with that!
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Oh No! She’s Out of Your League!
How do you know if a girl or woman is out of your league?
Well, let me tell you something once and for all: “There are no Leagues!”
They’re made up by you to preserve your own ego from the pain of rejection. It’s all in your head.
If you think that a girl is out of your league – then I’ll put it bluntly – you have low self-esteem, and you’re also objectifying women.
By low self-esteem, I mean that you don’t consider yourself good enough for beautiful women to like and love you, and you think you will bring them no value if you interact with them.
“So and so is out of my league” is just a covert way of saying “I have poor self-esteem.” The whole idea of ‘leagues’ is rooted in a profound denial of your own self-worth.
And, by objectifying, I mean that you’re putting a beautiful woman on a pedestal, where she becomes this unattainable goddess, someone who you worship and appreciate only for her looks, and not for her personality. That’s because if you see a hot girl and think that she’s out of your league – you are basing this ENTIRELY on your first impressions of how she looks – and you completely disregard her personality and who she is as a human being, thus completely dehumanizing her. You haven’t even approached her yet – so how do you know who she is?
Well, let me tell you something else – she’s exactly like you and me – a regular person who eats, sleeps, shits, burps, farts, and breathes to survive.
You see her at a club, in a bar, on the street, and you think to yourself: “Wow, she’s so beautiful in that great outfit which accentuates her features so well. I’d give anything to get with her!”
Well, have you considered the fact that she later gets home, goes to bed, wakes up feeling groggy, just like you do – she gets up and brushes her teeth while staring at the mirror with a face that only a mother could love, just like you do – she goes and takes a massive dump, just like you. She has her good days and bad days, just like you do. She sometimes gets sick, and lays there in bed, with a huge ball of snot running out her nose, feeling like utter crap – just like you sometimes do. And she often feels insecure, lacks confidence, motivation, and wants a better life – just like you do.
Stop thinking of women as a life support system for a vagina, and start thinking of them as people, real people, who, no matter how beautiful they may be when seen out in public, also burp, fart, sometimes have bad breath, say stupid things (as well as clever ones), and move their bowels. Any individual woman may have just as many insecurities as you do.
And you know what? Having this in mind does wonders for when you’re actually approaching hot girls.
The Best Approach Mindset
So, imagine if you now saw a gorgeous girl in a club, standing there, minding her own business, looking all beautiful and like she doesn’t give a damn about anything – and you decide to approach her.
What if instead of thinking “Oh, she’s so hot but she’s definitely out of my league! I don’t deserve her! She’ll reject me!” you think something else? Something that actually HELPS you, and not screws you over because you’re being your own worst enemy.
But first, take a moment to think about this: Why would you even want to be with her when you know absolutely nothing about her save for the way she looks and how she carries herself?
In fact, you don’t even know if she’s a nice person – she may be a spoiled brat, who’s rude, malicious, hates animals and likes to kick kittens and strangle puppies in her spare time. You definitely don’t want a woman like that in your life, no matter how great she looks, unless you love putting dick into crazy and are a glutton for punishment.
Okay, I’ll admit it, that’s an over the top example. But here’s another one – what if she’s just a bland, uninteresting, and generally boring person with no interest in doing anything but partying all her life? She’d be great for a one night stand, but not much else.
So, instead, why not have something like this going through your mind when you see her and are approaching: “Damn, you’re gorgeous! But are you actually a nice and interesting person underneath those smoking hot looks? Let’s find out!”
This little tweak in your thought process and your mindset will make a whole world of difference!
Suddenly, you’re not just basing her worth to you on looks alone, but on the whole picture – her personality, how interesting she is, whether she’s nice or not, etc.
Suddenly, you’re no longer seeking her approval, being a desperate boy who has no standards and would give anything to sleep with a girl like that.
Instead, you’re now going in there with the mindset of “The Chooser!” You’re going in to see whether SHE’S good enough to have a place in YOUR life.
This will do wonders for your inner game, and the things you will sub-communicate to her will be entirely different – that you’re someone with standards, that you don’t get swayed by her looks at all, that you actually give a shit about her personality, etc.
And here’s the kicker – your sub-communication is the MOST IMPORTANT THING when talking to gorgeous women. The things you sub-communicate with your body language, eye contact, tone of voice, and everything else will tell her more about you than your words ever could. And that sub-communication comes from the way you feel on the inside, and what thoughts you are thinking when you’re there, in her presence, and she is in yours.
Part of inner game mastery and self-improvement is learning how to be in control of your head space.
You think she’ll reject you when you are congruent with those thoughts? You think she’ll reject you when you’re going into the interaction from a position of power to see who she is and whether she’d have a place in your life?
Well, to be honest – she might. Sorry to burst your bubble here, but no matter who you are, no matter what you do, and no matter what you have going on in your life – some people just aren’t going to like you.
You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the whole world and there is still going to be someone who hates peaches.
But the fact remains, you’ll get rejected MUCH LESS than before, because you will no longer be seeking her approval, no longer seem desperate, and you will not be thinking about leagues at all! When you have this mindset while approaching, there is no place for leagues in your mind – they disappear.
I always have this mindset when I’m out approaching and meeting beautiful women, and I pull nearly every time I go out. That’s because I understand that I’m inherently not better than anyone else, and no one else is better than me. That there are no leagues and that everyone is a normal human being, with their own lives, insecurities, trepidations, problems, triumphs, likes, dislikes, and so on and so forth.
Of course, that’s just one part of what makes me great with women – there are many more parts to the equation. This mindset is just one cog in the machine – but it’s a very crucial and helpful one and it will give you a huge leg up if you employ it.
Inner Game vs. Outer Game
Fact is, mastering your inner game will take care of most of your problems with women, because it’s not lack of techniques that makes or breaks your approach – it’s what you have in your head. Learning all the techniques in the world will do nothing for you if you can’t even hold a decent conversation because you’re too shy, nervous, anxious, and afraid. That would be akin to putting a bandage on a gaping wound and hoping for it to heal.
Techniques are just there to help you get better results once you can actually approach and have a decent conversation with women without seeming like a shaky and blubbering mess.
But when you eventually get your inner game handled, using certain great techniques will boost your results significantly. Incidentally, here’s something I make sure to use each and every time I go out, which makes me irresistible to women and makes them want to chase me. It’s called Teasing, and you can read more about it here: HOW TO TEASE A GIRL AND WHY TEASING ON DATES IS MASSIVELY IMPORTANT!
Self-improvement and becoming successful with women is an ongoing process – no one’s born charming and with perfect social skills. Some are very lucky to have naturally developed a magnetic personality and superior charisma while growing up, and others haven’t. If you’re not one of the lucky ones, don’t let that discourage you, and instead focus on learning those all-important social skills. Eventually, with enough time and effort put in – you’ll look back at your life and laugh at how naïve and clueless you were back then, and be proud of how much you’ve improved.
Also, I can help you with that, and show you how to talk to women so that they’ll always want to spend time with you.