I get the following questions all the time from guys: “Dude, is she interested in me or just being friendly? Seriously, is she flirting with me or not!?”
Truth be told, plenty of guys have trouble reading women’s signals, aka indicators of interest. And distinguishing between women flirting with them or just being plain nice and friendly.
Not only can this lack of understanding drive a man crazy. But it can also cause a lot of problems and awkwardness. Especially if you misunderstand a woman’s intentions and mistake friendliness for her interest and flirtatiousness and then make your move, only to get rejected HARD!
But you can stop worrying now If you’re struggling with this! Because I’ll reveal the biggest signs about knowing if she’s flirting with you or just being friendly so you know where you stand and if you should proceed! After you’re done, you’ll know about the main flirting signs guys miss.
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Is She Flirting With Me Or Just Being Friendly? How To Tell
First of all, most women who’ll be talking to you will be friendly and nice by default. Because that’s just how people are in general if you don’t do anything to annoy them.
Basically, there’s no reason for women to be unfriendly toward you in the beginning. Unless you’ve caught them at a bad time somehow or have given them a good reason to treat you badly. Or if you’ve approached them in a weird or creepy way that made them feel uneasy, threatened and uncomfortable. Then of course they’re going to be unfriendly towards you.
In any case, don’t let the regular signs of simple friendliness without any sexual interest fool you! They are:
- Women smiling at you
- Holding eye contact when talking to you
- Shaking your hand
- Engaging in small talk
Women who do these while talking to you don’t necessarily have any interest in you and are most of the time simply being nice and friendly towards you.
That’s right, smiling does not mean she wants you because it’s just a simple way to show someone you’re non-threatening. Most of the time, it’s a mere gesture of friendliness, unless it’s accompanied by other things I’ll describe below.
Apart from signs of friendliness, there are signs of disinterest. Certain signs she’s not into you and has no interest in anything serious or sexual which you should learn as well.
So how exactly would you then know if she’s interested in you or just being friendly if simple smiling isn’t enough? The answer lies in the undertones of the interaction and her BODY LANGUAGE!
This is the real secret if you’re always wondering “is she flirting with me or just being friendly!” — HER BODY LANGUAGE AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS!
Flirting vs friendly body language
Now I’ll show you what the difference is between the above signs of being nice but disinterested romantically, and when she actually shows interest in you in a “more than just friends” kind of way.
Let’s take the examples above of women being friendly and nice with you and take them up a notch! So you know when women are actually flirting with you and how you can figure it out from their body language.
1) Smiling at you
When women are smiling at you briefly and standing more or less still, in a professional manner on in a way mere acquaintances usually do, then they’re just being friendly and nice.
However, when women are smiling at you and tilting their head, moving their body around (shoulders, torso, hips, etc), then it shows concrete signs of interest. Especially if they touch their face, neck or hair when they do so.
Such movement betrays a person’s feelings and shows they’re being affected by you emotionally. People who you have no effect over or who aren’t interested in you the least bit won’t be very animated when talking to you.
Also, if she’s accentuating her best features while smiling (showing off all her curves and best bits, etc.), then she’s definitely interested in you. She’ll also hold her smile for longer and make it much warmer and more pleasant than a regular, friendly smile.
Another pretty big indicator of interest is when a woman is smiling or laughing and shrugging her shoulders at the same time.
Mostly, when women shrug their shoulders as if they want to shake something off, which is a sign of disinterest, they break eye contact and look away from you. But when they do it and smile, laugh or giggle and hold eye contact, then it’s a big indicator she’s interested.
These things make a world of difference between being friendly and flirty and show she is interested.
2) Holding eye contact
When women hold eye contact when talking to you, that’s pretty normal.
But when they hold eye contact for much longer than usual. And when they also take glances at your lips, your neckline and even your body, it means they’re checking you out. In that case, it’s pretty safe to say she is interested and not just being friendly.
Also, women who are interested in you sexually will make their eye contact more expressive. So it’s not just the flirting vs friendly body language you should look out for but also their facial expressions. Because that’s a dead giveaway if you spot signs like sensual and sexy eye contact instead of regular, courteous one.
Another big sign is when a girl’s lips are parted slightly when she’s looking into your eyes. This type of gaping shows subconscious sexual interest and it means you’ve done something to arouse her.
3) Touching you
When you meet a woman and she shakes your hand but then holds her distance and doesn’t even try to touch you again, she’s not interested in you and is just being friendly and nice.
However, when you meet women who shake your hand and hold it slightly longer than is common courtesy or is acceptable on a professional level, it’s a different story.
Flirting body language is also noticeable if women stand closer to you. If they try to touch you more than is acceptable for mere acquaintances or if they’re more touchy-feely than usual.
It’s also a huge sign she’s interested and flirting with you if she combines all the things above. Genuine, sensual smiling, prolonged eye contact, moving her body to show off her features as well as trying to stand close to you and touching you at every chance, etc.
In that case, you can stop asking yourself “is she interested in me or just being friendly” and show some interest in her as well. Because then it’s safe to say she’s showing you pretty clear signs she’s into you.
4) Talking to you
Finally, if she’s simply talking to you like she would with just any other person she meets and doesn’t go beyond small talk, there’s not much interest going on there.
On the other hand, if she’s asking you deeper questions about yourself, wants to know what makes you tick, what you like and dislike, and especially things like if you’re single or not… Then she’s definitely not just being friendly but is actually interested in you romantically,
That’s because girls who are interested in you will want to know as much stuff about you as possible. Because they find you fascinating and because they want to build a connection with you.
Also, when her voice gets higher than usual and she talks faster than normal, it means she finds you attractive. Women’s voices often become more feminine around guys they like and are interested in. And it all happens subconsciously, without them even being aware of it most of the time!
Finally, when she’s laughing at all your jokes, you can stop asking yourself is she interested in me or just being friendly? Because she definitely is.
Here are some other flirting signs guys miss
The above signs of interest are just the beginning. That’s because true interest lies in the various flirting signs many men miss when they’re interacting with women, which I’ll go over right now.
Believe me, some of us guys are as dense as brass doorknobs when it comes to girls. So there are usually tons of flirting signs guys miss when we’re around women. That’s why it really pays to pay attention and being present in the moment.
Here are some other signs of romantic (and possibly sexual) interest women show near men.
- “Prettying themselves up” in your presence
- Taking a posture so their breasts thrust out in front of them and their buttocks are more obvious.
- Bumping into you “accidentally” or making other clumsy movements to catch your attention
- Mirroring some of your movements, gestures, speech, etc.
- Giving you compliments
- Hovering near you for extended periods of time
- Showing signs of nervousness, fidgeting, giggling and display shyness
- Initiating the first move themselves
- Showing a genuine interest in you as a person, your hobbies, etc. (Take this one with a grain of salt as it can also be just a sign of friendliness)
- Talking about the future with you (especially if it’s a mutual future!)
- Teasing you playfully (this is a MASSIVE sign of her interest and flirting)
- Trying to validate or prove herself to you
- Being very expressive with her hands (as opposed to hiding them in her pockets, sitting on them, etc.)
As you can see, there can be many different flirting signs from a woman you can notice if you pay attention. After you see several of them, be sure to make your move and you’ll often succeed.
If you see many of these signs but still go into your head too much, thinking “Is she interested in me or just being friendly here? What should I do? Is that really flirting and interest?”, then you’ll often just psyche yourself out and make things worse. That’s why making your move is better than overthinking things.
Lastly, sometimes certain guys have so many insecurities, they don’t even believe women would be interested in them at all. This massive lack of self-esteem makes them miss SO MANY DIFFERENT CHANCES with women it’s not even funny.
Listen here; snuff these types of thoughts out right away. If you believe women won’t be interested in you, then guess what, THEY WON’T! It’s a self-fulfilling negative prophecy if you believe it the least bit. It’s a huge reason why there are so many flirting signs guys miss when talking to girls.
Don’t Fall For The Trap – A Woman Who Flirts With Everyone!
If you like going out, you’re eventually going to meet the type of woman who flirts with everyone she sees. No matter if she finds them attractive or not.
So how do you know if she’s playing games with you or being serious and flirting with you because she actually likes you?
Tons of guys think such a woman is very interested in them because she shows some very obvious signs of flirting. But then, no matter how much they try, things don’t ever go anywhere.
“Then why the hell were you even flirting with me?” they ask her. And she often replies something along the lines of “Hey, I was just being nice and it’s fun to flirt!
So here’s the truth about women who flirt with everyone — They simply do it for fun and because it’s exciting. They have no actual intention of following up on their actions. Because they like to tease men sexually but never give them any satisfaction.
A woman who flirts with everyone is usually called a “Cock tease”. Someone who flirts and seduces men without engaging in sexual activity later, just to see them get all riled up and squirm.
I highly suggest you avoid women like these altogether.
You can often spot them in clubs if you watch their actions long enough.
They’re usually the ones who approach many different men, talk to them for a while, and then get out of the interaction.
When you notice them flirting with everyone, instead of thinking “is she flirting with me or just being friendly,” assume she won’t want to move beyond simply flirting to anything else and go talk to other women instead. Maybe it will even make her jealous enough to chase after you.
You see, if a woman is interested in you and if wants something sexual, she won’t break things off just like that. Unless you do something stupendously stupid and screw things up.
Cock-teases, on the other hand, will just randomly break off interactions, no matter how good they seem to be going. In fact, they’ll often wait for the highpoints of interactions, just to get away later, so there’s a bigger emotional impact. Because they enjoy the drama. So you’ve been warned!
What should you do when women show interest in you?
In short — APPROACH! Make your move!
Now that you know what some of the more common indicators of interest are, do your best to take notice of the flirting signs other guys miss.
Also, when women express their interest in you through their actions, their facial expressions, and their body language, you should show some interest back.
You should also assume it’s the right time to approach and initiate a conversation. Because you’re way past the point of thinking “is she flirting with me or just being friendly.”
That’s because if you fail to act on these signs, you’ll miss your moment to make the most of a great opportunity. If you fail to make your move then, women who show you these signs of interest (they’re definitely not being just friendly) will think you’re disinterested in them. They’ll either move on or think you’re afraid, nervous, etc.
Basically, as soon as you notice that she is interested, don’t fail to take advantage of such an opportunity or women will eventually stop showing you these signs.
Oh, and if you’re already in a conversation, it means you shouldn’t disengage and instead continue forward because she likes what you’re doing.
After all that, it’s as simple as getting her number and going on a date. And if you have no clue what to do on your date so she falls in love with you, then do yourself a huge favor and learn what to do on first dates!