The Main Signs She’s Not Into You And Isn’t Interested

If you want to be sure you’re not wasting your time with women who aren’t interested in you, then it’s very important to learn all the main signs she’s not into you.

You see, not all women will tell you directly if they’re not interested in you at all.

If they did, it would save everyone lots of trouble and frustration. And you’d be able to move on with your life and go talk to other women instead.

Unfortunately, most women won’t be so direct, for one reason or another. They’ll either be very subtle about it or simply hint that they’re not that into you. And it’s up to you to figure this out and decide if you should pursue them further or not.

That’s why learning all the signs she’s not interested in you is so important. So you don’t waste your time with the women who don’t like you.

I’ll also show you what to do after you notice these signs because you may be able to salvage the situation. So pay attention!

The biggest signs she’s not into you

I don’t want to waste your time, so I won’t mention the most obvious signs a girl is not into you. Like when she just flat out tells you “I’m not interested in you!” or tells you to “Fuck off and never contact me again!”

Instead, here are the most important signs she doesn’t like you that much.

1) She always tells you she’s busy

So here’s the deal: If a girl always tells you she’s busy, no matter what, then she’s not interested in you at all.

That’s because if she were actually interested in you, she’d definitely find the time to meet you. No matter how busy her schedule looks. No matter how much work, school, errands or chores she has.

You see, it’s a simple fact of life that when someone wants something, they make the time for it.

Women will always find the time for guys who they want and find very attractive!

So next time you notice women constantly give you this excuse. Take it as a huge sign that they’re just not that into you. Probably because you didn’t really make a good impression on them when you first approached and talked to them.

Because if you don’t know how to approach and get numbers from women the right way. They’ll often give you their number just to get rid of you. And then either ignore you, block you or, in this case, always tell you they’re BUSY doing something (or someone) else.

Or maybe you did make a decent impression. But you kind of fucked up on your date with her by being a nice guy and making some huge mistakes. So now she’s giving you signs she’s not interested anymore by blowing you off.

No matter the reason, take the hint she doesn’t want to make time for you because she’s not interested anymore and move on.

Although, you could try contacting her again in a couple of weeks or a month, just to give it a shot. Some women will change their minds. Some may think you’re more attractive because you’re not being needy or desperate by texting them every day. It can’t hurt.

2) She’s doesn’t reply to your messages

Telling you she’s always busy is just the first sign that she’s not interested in you.

But when a girl ignores your messages completely, then she’s definitely not into you.

This ghosting can happen through anything: texting, social media like Facebook, on Snapchat, Instagram DMs, etc.

The most hurtful one of all is probably the Facebook “seen” notification.

signs she's not interested

She’s read what you’ve had to say and chose not to reply to you. Basically letting you know she has no intention or interest in talking to you at all. And no matter how many messages you send, there’s no reply.

When this happens, I suggest you don’t make yourself look like a desperate and lonely fool. Don’t send her message after message, begging her to talk to you. Because that’ll only make things worse.

That’s because the situation can sometimes be salvageable, even if she ignores you completely at this point.

To do that, you simply go on with your life and meet and talk with other women. And after a while, once you remember her, send her an intriguing, witty, provocative or funny message. To see what happens next and if she still ignores you.

Sometimes, due to various reasons, she might reply back. Either because what you said was genuinely intriguing. Or because she’s lonely and has changed her mind, or something else entirely. And that can spark some interest from her and you’ll have another conversation.

But if you continuously barrage her with messages, even though she doesn’t reply. Then she’ll never want to meet or talk with you again. Because you’ll be annoying her and will be showing severe attention-seeking behavior. Which is totally not attractive.

So show a little self-respect and stop caring so much about the outcome of your interactions with women.

3) She avoids or ignores you

This happens if you’re interested in a girl who you see often. Either because you’re both in high-school, college, at the gym or even your work. But she’s not interested in you anymore.

You may have hit it off at first and thought it would be a good idea to exchange numbers and maybe even go on a date. But something must’ve happened in-between that time and she’s giving you all the signs she’s not interested anymore.

In this case, she’ll do her best to avoid you. She’ll go somewhere else when you enter the room, she’ll try to not be in your vicinity as much as possible. And she’ll do her best not to run into you.

Other than that, if seeing you or meeting you in the same room is unavoidable (which is often the case if you have class or work together). Then she’ll just ignore you as much as possible.

signs she's not into you

She might put her headphones on when you try to talk to her and just stare at her work blankly. And if she’s in a group of people, she might deliberately ignore anything you’re saying, focusing on her friends or colleagues instead. There’s also no eye contact from her, at all!

If this happens, your best course of action when you see these signs she’s not into you is to not make it worse.

That’s because if you’re in a social setting where there’s lots of people around, you can easily ruin your image and reputation. If you act in a creepy, weird, needy or pathetic way.

In these highly visible social settings, take rejection like a man and don’t follow her around or annoy her. Because things may not end well if she decides to announce to everyone you’re being a desperate creep.

4) She tells you she has a boyfriend

A lot of the time, if a girl is not into you, she’ll tell you she has a boyfriend.

Now, this may be true and it may not. But you should still definitely take the hint that she wants to get rid of you.

So if you don’t know how to tell if a girl is single or has a boyfriend, then your best is to take what she said as another one of the signs she’s not that into you.

That’s because even though some women will shit-test men by saying they have a boyfriend. Most will not blatantly lie about this and will actually have one.

As you get more experience at approaching women and talking to them, you’ll be able to tell if they’re testing you with the boyfriend response. Or if they’re actually being serious.

But trust me on this one; it’s not really worth it to try and argue with women whether they’re lying about having boyfriends or not. Because either way, it means they’re not attracted to you and aren’t interested in you.

If you do argue, at best you’re going to look like a clueless guy, which isn’t very attractive. And at worst, you’re going to look like a total fucking idiot who can’t take no for an answer.

signs of a girl not interested in you

Oh, and for the love of all that’s decent. If she tells you she has a bf, don’t say you just want to be friends with her, in the hopes of ever getting into her pants.

Being in the friendzone sucks, first and foremost. And second, you’ll be effectively lying to her and trying to manipulate her into sleeping with you by hanging around and acting nice.

Not only is that unattractive, it shows you have low self-respect and self-esteem.

5) She just wants to be friends

One of the absolute biggest signs she’s not into you is when she puts you in the dreaded friend zone.

This can happen for many different reasons and I’ll explain it all in great depth in my upcoming article on The Friend Zone.

However, to mention the biggest reasons briefly.

She’s put you in the friendzone either because you were too afraid of rejection so you didn’t make your move. Or because you weren’t flirting with her the right way, didn’t tease her to create massive attraction, weren’t challenging enough, etc. So she didn’t find you attractive at all and didn’t consider you as a lover.

Basically, you probably didn’t do anything to make her want you. So all she sees you as is a sexless friend.

To get out of this friendzone, you need to learn how to attract a woman so she’ll want you sexually. You also need to treat her differently than before. Then show her you have other women in your life who want you. And then create some much-needed sexual tension between you two.

You’ll accomplish this better if you focus on self-improvement. By hitting the gym to get fit (if you aren’t), by living a life she’d want to be a part of, by dressing well and grooming yourself properly. By getting rid of various insecurities and self-esteem issues, etc.

These things aren’t as important as learning how to flirt and attract women. But they’re definitely incredibly helpful and will make you significantly more attractive to women in general.

And you should be striving to improve yourself all the time anyway. Because you only have one life. So it’s a win-win for everyone involved if you strive to achieve all the things above.

6) She doesn’t want to meet you one on one

So let’s say you’ve gotten her number and you started to text or talk with each other regularly. Or you may have met her through online dating and you’ve hit it off. So you’ve been chatting for weeks, getting to know each other.

Everything seems great and you’re both enjoying talking to one another for quite a bit. But once you ask her to meet you somewhere. She either says no (because she wants to get to know you even better before meeting you, which is the most common excuse) or she says something along the lines of “Maybe later . . .” or “We’ll see . . .”

This is one of those more subtle signs of a girl not interested in you. Because she clearly enjoys talking to you, but not enough to want to meet.

She either doesn’t trust you. Or maybe she’s getting enough attention and validation from you through chatting with you. And you haven’t really attracted her enough to compel her to see you face to face.

If this happens, your best course of action is to make your communication with her increasingly sparse. By this, I mean you should talk to her less and less. Until you eventually only speak to her very occasionally.

In fact, this is where you could and you should turn the whole “I’m busy” thing right back on her.

when you spot signs she's not into you, get busy

Talk to her less and less and say you’re busy doing one thing or another.

That’s because for her to realize she wants you, she has to start missing you. And if you’re always busy doing cool stuff and meeting other women, she’ll become interested in you.

She might even get jealous and will want you all to herself. That’s why mentioning you’re seeing other women is good.

7) She keeps cancelling plans to meet

Something that’s even more frustrating and annoying than her not wanting to meet you is when she actually agrees to meet you. But then keeps canceling on those plans at the last minute or doesn’t show up at all. And not just the one time but constantly.

Sure, unexpected things can happen and sometimes life gets in the way. So it’s understandable if she can’t come and at first, you should always give her the benefit of doubt. Because people don’t usually lie about stuff like that.

But if she keeps repeating the same thing again and again, and keeps cancelling on your plans or doesn’t come at all. Then it means she’s not into you and is either playing you for a fool. Or she’s just mean and has no regard for other people’s time and effort.

So what’s the limit on how often you should tolerate her canceling plans?

Well, it depends on a few things. Mostly, on whether she actually suggests alternative plans when she cancels. Which is a huge sign she actually does want to meet you.

But normally, the “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me” approach is often best.

I cut women who do this off after two times they do it. Very rarely do they get a third chance to make things right, and only if they’re super convincing.

That’s because you have to stand up for yourself, have clear boundaries and not let people use and abuse you. Otherwise, no women will respect you or find you attractive after a while.

So when she does this more than once, take it as her giving you signs she’s not interested anymore and cut her out of your life. Because flakiness is bad and she’ll keep flaking.

8) She contacts you only when she needs something

If you’re keeping contact but not really dating because you can’t seem to meet her for a date, then the following sign she’s not that into you is very telling.

It’s when she only texts, calls or messages you when she needs something from you. And not to meet you for a date or to hang out.

This can be anything; maybe she needs a ride, maybe she wants some foor, or maybe she wants you to take her somewhere and pay for it.

If something like this happens, be more assertive and stand up for yourself. Don’t let her use you as a personal driver or food guy, or furniture mover, or whatever. Cut her out of your life and move on to other women.

That’s because she’s being manipulative and trying to get stuff from you since she knows you like her. But since she doesn’t really like you back and is not interested in you romantically, she thinks she can keep you on as a “friend” and keep getting free stuff or favors from you.

In that case, give her the boot and be glad to never see her again.

don't let women use you

There are far too many women in the world who abuse guys and even use them only for money. Don’t be a CHUMP!

9) She constantly talks about other guys with you

This can be due to many different reasons.

The first and the best case for you is if she’s shit-testing you once again. To see if you’ll be discouraged by this and to test your resolve and strength of character.

The second reason is because you’ve been friend zoned. So she’s talking to you like she would with one of her girl friends, and discussing guys with you. Probably because she wants your advice (and not your dick) on what to do with these guys. And she doesn’t consider you to be a candidate for a lover at all.

The third reason is she wants to give you a clue and hint that she’s not interested in you at all. And by talking about other guys, she wants to deter you from even trying to ask her out. Because you’ll think she already has plenty of other men in her life or even a boyfriend.

girl talks about other guys a lot

This is particularly the case if she mentions about having sex and with other men. And talks about that stuff openly, describing all the naughty stuff they’re doing.

If this happens, take it as one of the surest signs she’s not into you at all and move on. Because it’s not suddenly going to get any better. Unless you’re very good at getting out of the sexless friend zone and making her see you in a different light, as a potential lover.

10) One of the worst signs she’s not interested is when she goes on a pity date with you

Pity dates are something some women do to discourage guys from trying again.

You’ll be able to recognize if it’s a pity date by how she acts on it. She probably knows you’re super interested in her from the start, but she isn’t really interested in you. And she’ll seem standoffish and bored. Probably staring at her phone all the time, look around for stuff to do and will refrain from looking in your eyes.

However, pity dates are not really that common and mostly done by younger women between the ages of 18 and 25. That’s because mature women usually don’t play games and don’t want to waste each other’s times. And will instead tell you directly to piss off if they’re not into you.

So if you happen to go on such a pity date, you’ll see many signs she’s not interested in you at all. And you should quickly either change your behavior drastically and make things fun, exciting or interesting for her. Or quit wasting your time and walk away, if she’s very obviously doing this out of pity for you and not because she’ into you.

That said, pity dates can often be salvaged and turned into your favor. But you have to learn how to flirt well, tease women, create attraction and sexual tension. Otherwise, you won’t get very far.

11) Some more signs of a girl not interested in you

To round things off, here are a couple of more signs of a girl not interested in you, which I’ll go over very quickly.

One of the more subtle signs she’s not into you is when she’s not letting you touch her at all. So if she’s not letting you break the touch barrier, she’s definitely not interested in anything intimate with you.

She might also have very closed off body language. Crossing her arms, standing “on guard” and maybe even frowning all the time. That’s also a huge sign she’s not that into you. (Seriously, I can’t believe I have to even mention this . . . but as you know, there are plenty of idiots in the world.)

Another big clue she doesn’t want to be with you is if she doesn’t put any effort into your interactions. Answering everything you say with short, one or two-word answers. Not putting in an effort to meet you and not putting in any effort into your conversations, etc.

bored girl is not into you

Basically, if you’re doing all the work to keep the interaction going, it means she’s just not that into you, dude. So it’s time to either step up your game by learning how to flirt and create massive attraction with women . . . or give up with her and find someone else.

If she’s not into you, there’s a great solution

Now that you know the biggest signs she’s not that into you, you can start looking for answers on how to deal with it.

I’ve been on so many dates with so many different women I can’t even remember them all. And back when I sucked at this whole thing, it was super frustrating when I noticed these signs that women were just not into me at all.

It was heartbreaking and I felt like I lack something fundamental that other successful guys have. I felt like I was a broken person when date after date with women didn’t go well and they ended up not being interested in me anymore.

But eventually, when I cracked the code of attraction and seduction, everything changed. And it didn’t just change because I got a couple of girlfriends or a fuckbuddy. No, my results changed drastically and I had multiple fuckbuddies for every day of the week.

And the best thing about it is that anyone can learn how to get laid on the first date with many different attractive women. So that’s what I suggest you do if you constantly see signs she doesn’t like you, because you don’t want to miss out on all the fun!



saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.

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