The three questions I get asked most often are “How to talk to girls?”, “How do I approach a girl?”, and “How to get a girlfriend?”
The answer to the first one is very simple – talk to girls like they’re people, and you’ll do fine.
But that’s easier said than done for a lot of guys, because many of us don’t realize this simple fact, and probably think that girls are some kind of mysterious creatures from another planet!
So I’m going to go into more detail on how you approach girls, then talk to girls, and get a girlfriend as a result.
Let’s start from the beginning!
Table of Contents
How to approach a girl and talk to her
The first thing you should know is that you can’t get a girl to like you with logic! Let me repeat this again – You can’t logic your way into a woman’s pants unless you’re rich and she’s a gold-digger!
So let me tell you what I do, and what people who have their shit together do:
I see a girl I like – I then IMMEDIATELY start walking up to her before my mind realizes what I’m doing and goes into panic mode! Before it starts scrambling my brain and sounding off various alarms in my head that scream something like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU CAN’T!” at me.
And then – I say the first thing that comes to my mind!
Usually, it’s about something that I just noticed in the girl “Hey, I just saw you and thought you were (cute/funny/weird/silly/i
And that’s it.
It’s not that complicated, and you don’t have to figure out some mind-blowing or earth-shattering and interesting thing to say to a girl that you approach. Just go up to her – and say hello, followed by what you’re thinking at that moment!
That’s because – get this – your opener is completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It’s just a way to get you into a conversation with the girl.
And you can start a conversation with just about anything: Even ridiculous and stupid stuff like “Hello, I like bananas, do you like strawberries?“. I tested hundreds of random sentences like this one, and none of them mattered. No matter the reaction they elicited – you can deal with it and transition into normal conversation. And most girls won’t even remember your opening after you’ve had a conversation with them!
So it’s completely irrelevant, and you can stop trying to figure out “the best, most mindblowing, and interesting thing” to open girls with.
For example, I have a buddy who lives in the US, and who uses this line on absolutely every girl he meets, and opens the conversation no matter what: “Hey, are you from New York?”
Wow – super interesting and panty-wetting line, am I right? Far from it, but it gets the job done, without fail. He just understands that openers are irrelevant and get the conversation started, and knows how to transition to normal conversation.
So just walk up before you talk yourself out of it, and fucking say hello!
In certain circles, this is called the Three Second Rule, or something similar.
And let me tell you why it works!
If you want to know how to attract women, you have to learn to approach them first. But a lot of us have approach anxiety and various other insecurities, so we often can’t.
And when we DO force ourselves to approach a girl, we start thinking of HUNDREDS of random reasons why we shouldn’t, why can’t, or why we’ll fail.
“Oh, what if she doesn’t like me?”, “What if I say something wrong?”, “What if everyone laughs at me?”, “What if she realizes what a (sad/bad/stupid/fat/short/unfunny/pathetic/whatever) person I am?”, “What if she already has a boyfriend?”, “What if she’s out of my league?”, “What if I freak her out?” and so on and so forth!
A HUNDRED random and irrelevant questions start popping into your mind, up to the point where you talk yourself out of approaching, start to doubt yourself, and stop in your tracks!
Now doesn’t this all sound very familiar to you?
But what’s at the core problem – why do we psyche ourselves out like that?
But guess what? NONE of it matters! While you may think that all those questions and doubts that are popping into your mind are relevant and valid – they do not matter the least bit.
That’s because no one has a manual on life – everyone’s improvising and winging it as they go along – JUST like you and me are!
So what if she thinks any of those things! Who cares? If she doesn’t like you – great, because you get to find that out early, stop wasting your time, and then go on to the next girl, until you find someone who does like you. Getting rejected is great, because you can stop wasting your time with that person and move on to the next one!
That’s exactly why the three-second thing works wonders when approaching girls – you don’t have the chance to start psyching yourself out and start panicking! Your brain doesn’t have the time to process what it’s doing properly, and you get to the girl before you self-sabotage yourself!
It’s a very powerful thing – but it’s not fool-proof because you have to practice to get good at this – to shut out the incessant self-doubting jabbering that goes on in your head!
That’s the main thing you need to know if you want to learn how to approach a girl!
I’m going to talk more in-depth about how to get over your approach anxiety, in a very fast and efficient way – in my free newsletter which you can sign up for by clicking the red paper airplane to the left, or at the bottom of this article.
That’s because I don’t want to get distracted from the main topics – you’re here to learn about how to talk to girls and how to get a girlfriend. Approaching is very easy to fix – it’s just a matter of realizing a couple of things and acquiring a certain mindset.
The other two are a bit more complicated than that.
In any case – here’s the biggest lesson when it comes to approaching: It’s not about how you open, it’s about how you CONTINUE!
Learn it, repeat it until it starts to make sense, believe it, and apply it. You will open 100% of conversations if you do.
How to talk to girls
As I mentioned before – you see a girl, you start walking up to her the moment you see her – and then you say exactly what’s on your mind!
And I do mean EXACTLY what’s on your mind!
Yes, I even went up to girls on the street and said “Damn, I saw you from across the road and I thought you looked so ridiculously fine that I just wanted to come here and meet you. I’d love to rip off that dress sometime! How are you even ALLOWED to walk on the street with no police escort, looking so fucking gorgeous?!”
Yep, that’s what was running through my mind when I saw that particular girl. That’s just how I talk to girls, by being authentic and genuine with them – not hiding myself and without fear of being judged.
And guess what? Depending on my execution, and if I was congruent with what I was saying; if girls saw that I meant what I said with every fiber of my being, from my body language, my eye-contact, and my attitude, to whether I hesitated or really meant it – girls would very often just give in to it and go with the flow.
Then the fun started. I had great successes and failures with this thing, and it all depended on my mood and execution.
But don’t start kidding yourself, it’s not about the girl replying something like “OH GOD TAKE ME NOW!” to you saying that.
It gets a certain reaction from the girl, probably a huge WTF! Then you have fun with the reaction, you DEAL with it, and move the conversation onto something else. But you already planted a seed – one where she knows that you want to fuck her, and she already imagines this, and it gets her to thinking a certain way about you.
It also shows her that you can get out of a jam, that you aren’t afraid of being judged and speak your mind, and that you aren’t afraid of people, etc.
And that, my friends, is how you affect girls emotionally.
Of course, developing great body language, eye contact, confidence and the right attitude takes a lot of time and effort – but anyone can do it, given the right tools and circumstances.
So don’t try this if you don’t know what you are doing because it will backfire if you’re not congruent with what you said.
But what if you’re a shy and nervous guy?
Then say that, too! If you’re someone who’s always shy and nervous around people, and you don’t know how to talk to girls – don’t hide it!
When I was a nervous young lad, still learning the ropes at the age of 20-21, I’d go up to women I liked and said stuff like “Oh hey there, I thought you were pretty, but I’m not really good at talking to girls, and I’m new in this town. Wanna chat?”
Or “Hello, I’m Andy! I thought you looked great but I’m rather nervous right now, and I don’t know why! So who are you?”
Or even “Hey, I saw you from across the room and thought you looked interesting, so I wanted to come talk to you. But I never really done this before and now I feel incredibly nervous. Wanna chat?”
Stuff like this may seem ridiculously corny and stupid – but it’s utterly disarming – she will either accept this and talk to you or reject you and ignore you – but in any case – you’ll get some respect and much-needed experience!
It’s incredibly rare to find people who speak their mind freely, who say what they mean, without fear of judgment! And people, in general, respond strongly and usually very favorably towards such behavior! Girls love a man who is unafraid to say what’s on his mind, because too often people hide behind masks, uncertainty, dishonesty and other bullshit!
So more often than not, I found that being genuine and authentic with the people you talk to really helps.
And guess what – the whole point of going up to a girl and starting a conversation with her is to get you two talking! And even if the start is slightly awkward or stupid, or bad, or even excellent – it does not matter in the least bit!
That’s because you started talking to her – and that’s the most important thing!
Now you get a chance to show her who you are – to showcase your personality, sense of humor, character, and everything else about you that you can think of – and then find out a little about her!
Approaches are never meant to be perfect, they’re always messy, improvised, unpredictable, awkward, stupid and sometimes ridiculous. I’m coming back again to the point that no one has a manual on life and everyone’s just making it up as they go along! Embrace the randomness and messiness, accept that it’s never going to be perfect and just approach!
That’s another step in becoming a man – realizing that you can take care of problems as they arise and relying on yourself.
And this is where the main point comes in – now you have to completely rely on yourself and your personality to hit it off with the girl! You can’t rely on ANYONE else! Your show begins, and no one in the world will be able to help you with this point except yourself.
And that’s both good and bad – because if you have a weak personality, a ton of insecurities and self-esteem issues – you won’t get far! You will get rejected!
But that’s okay too since you’ll realize that you now have to start investing in yourself, improving your personality and developing your attractive character traits, so that next time – you’ll have better chances of hitting it off with the girl.
And that’s all there is to it – you approach girls, you talk to them like people, you try to be as authentic and as genuine as possible, saying what’s on your mind and trying to be unafraid of being judged. And with some time and effort, as well as a lot of experience – you’ll get out on the other side a much better man!
How to get a girlfriend
And now the other part comes in – getting a girlfriend.
A lot of people have various misconceptions and want to know how to impress a girl. Others want to know how to get a girl to like you, or even how to MAKE a girl like you!
Listen – you don’t GET girls, you don’t MAKE girls like you. What you really need to do is to learn how to attract girls!
That’s because girls are not objects! They are not things, not property, not trophies, or anything else!
They are people, just like you and me – with their own values, ideals, wants, needs, aspirations, fears and outlooks on life!
If you realize this – if you realize that girls are just like you and me – people who eat, breathe, sleep, fart, and shit to survive – then you’ll go a long way.
How can you put girls on pedestals when you realize this? They’re just as you, equal in every way as a human being.
You don’t make a girl want you; you attract girls by showing them who you are as a person, and seeing whether they like you or not! But you don’t skirt around your issues and feelings – you say them loud and clear.
And then, if the girls do like you – that’s awesome! You can continue from there, go on a date, get to know each other, have fun, and eventually, hook up and choose if you want to develop this into a more fruitful and serious relationship – or just stay as fuck-buddies or friends with benefits and have occasional fun with each other.
If they don’t – you realize that you’re wasting your time, that that particular girl does not like you – and move on to the next one! There are over 7 billion people in the world, someone’s bound to like you!
So that’s what you do – you befriend girls – but not in the bullshit “nice guy” kind of way. You befriend girls by being an awesome guy, a guy who speaks his mind – even if just to say “Damn you’re so gorgeous, I want to FUCK you right here and right now!”
And trust me, given the right opportunity, moment and place – she WILL want you to fuck her, right then and there! Because she is a person, just like you, who LIKES sex, wants it as much, if not more than you, and CRAVES it every day!
She’s just looking for a non-judgmental, fun, friendly and easygoing guy to have it with! Or an aggressive, assertive, exciting, sexual and “dangerous” guy. As long as he’s true to himself, isn’t afraid to live life, to speak his mind and let her know this!
That’s exactly how you find and get a girlfriend. You find one who likes you for who you are – you don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
How to be successful with women
That’s the ultimate trick to being successful with women. You can be whoever you want; you can have any personality in the world – but if you’re genuine and authentic when talking to women because they’re people too – you’ll be naturally attractive to most women in the world.
How do I know this? Maybe because of the fact that I was a virgin until 20, and a few years later, I got laid like a rockstar whenever I wanted to. But without all the cocaine, alcohol, and other stuff I didn’t like, involved.
You don’t have to be a certain way and have a certain personality to attract women. Any personality is enough! You just have to develop it to the point where you like yourself, where you realize a couple of things, and then let it naturally shine.
Incidentally, that’s exactly why “bad boys” are so attractive to girls. They don’t hide who they are, are unafraid to live and just don’t give a fuck about what others think of them!
That’s all I teach, nothing less, nothing more – how to improve yourself so that you have a well-rounded, balanced and attractive personality; how to develop certain attractive character traits, and how to rely on them and your wit as well as your sense of humor, to be naturally great with women.
I never go on dates thinking: “I should say this, that, and then do this and afterwards that!”. I go in without any particular thoughts and wing it. I do have certain routines, stories and silly games that I play with almost any girl, because they’re incredibly fun for me, and for my dates as well – just to increase my chances somewhat.
But sometimes I even forget to employ these techniques, because I know that I’m more than enough to have fun with the girl on a date, then attract her enough for her to like me, then seduce her by utilizing our sexual tension – and then sleeping with her.
And just to drive the point home, that success with women doesn’t depend on who you are and what you do – I’ve always been, and still am, a hardcore gamer – a total computer nerd! I even have 3000 hours played in Dota2, for crying out loud! That didn’t stop me from developing myself into a person who’s naturally attractive to women.
I even SAY that to girls, as a point of pride, that I’m passionate about gaming and computers in general. And guess what? Since I’m completely honest about it and genuine – they never seem to have a problem with it.
The results of learning all this? Pretty great!
You can learn about all of this, including how to talk to girls and get a girlfriend, by signing up for my free newsletter or grabbing my book for a more in-depth guide.
But, in the end, it takes a bit of courage and some balls to act like this, and not everyone will be able to do it. You have to decide for yourself if you want to change your life, then start being proactive and DO it! It takes a bit of courage, but it’s worth it!
So how do you personally approach and talk to women? Are you using any lines or routines, or are you trying to solely rely on your personality? Does it work for you, or do you often fail?
Write your experiences and ideas in the comments below and I’ll give you some feedback and show you your sticking points!
Don’t forget to get my Full Free Inner Game Course by signing up for the newsletter below.
If you want to learn how to do all this, in a very easy-to-follow, fool-proof way, and get your love life handled – grab my book at http://www.saulisdating.com
It’s backed with a full 30 day guarantee, so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Give it a whirl, and see the results for yourself. And if for any reason you don’t like it, e-mail me within 30 days and I’ll give you your money back, right away, no questions asked, no hassles!
If someone offered me a chance like this when I was learning all of this – I’d have jumped at the chance!
And as always, if you found this information useful – share it with others who’d benefit from learning how to approach and talk to girls and the women that they like!