Focus On Having Fun To Seduce Women With Your Personality

Time for the big lesson, the one we’ve all been waiting for: How to have fun with women and seduce them by using your PERSONALITY.

Not your looks, not your money, your status, or your appreciation for the finer things in life.

I’m talking about how virtually anyone can use their unique personality to seduce women. By having lots of fun with them so they enjoy their time with you. And then throwing in a sexy and flirty vibe along with some touching and physicality to create strong attraction and sexual chemistry. So women will want to sleep with you THEMSELVES after spending time with you.

I’ve done this literally hundreds of times and even have a secret personal porn collection to prove it 😀 That’s why I’m the perfect person to explain in detail how you can have lots of fun with girls on your dates and get laid using your personality

Essentially, it’s all about not stifling yourself and letting your genuine and authentic self shine, no matter how quirky you think you are.

And it starts with this enormously important thing: SELF-AMUSEMENT!

NOTE: This article is Part 1 of 4 in the series on how to have fun with women and seduce them using your personality, so they really like you for you and want you sexually.

  • Part 1: Seduce Women With Your Personality By Being Fun: Learn what it takes to be fun, why self-amusement is crucial and why you should focus on having fun, so women want to sleep with you and get into relationships with you because of your personality.
  • Part 2: How To Become A Fun Person Through Self-Amusement So Women Like You And Want You: A step by step guide on how you can become a fun person to hang out with.
  • Part 3: How to Have Fun with Girls Using Self-Amusement: This is about specific techniques and strategies on how to have fun with women on dates, in bars and clubs, and everywhere else.
  • Part 4: Having Fun With Women Requires Solid Inner Game: This is about how introverts can learn how to be extroverted whenever they need to, so they can have tons of fun no matter where they go – along with a full example of how I do it.

Self-Amusement is The Key to Being Fun With Women

Self-Amusement is the process of making yourself feel good, in any way you can possibly think of, as long as it doesn’t harm other people.

You can make yourself feel good through laughter, adventure, entertainment, enjoyment of something, even drama, and so on and so forth. As long as what you do puts you in a good mood and brings you joy.

Key point: You self-amuse by focusing on EXPRESSION, and not impression. You’re not doing it to impress other people but to express your personality. And true self-amusement takes confidence.

In comedy and humor, for example, self-amusement is central.

Those who succeed a lot at being humorous are NOT the ones who try to be funny doing the things they think OTHER PEOPLE might find funny.

No, those who succeed the most nearly always do it solely for themselves. They think up jokes they themselves find hilarious and then share those jokes with the world. Trusting other people will enjoy them and find them just as funny as they do.

Most importantly, when doing so, they face the possibility of REJECTION.

Just like when you walk up to a girl and say “Hi!” – it’s the exact same thing with sharing your humor with other people: You face the chance of IMMEDIATE REJECTION.

And that rejection TESTS YOU.

If you handle it well, great things start opening up to you. But if you handle rejection poorly, you’ll face the same kind of frustration you do when trying to date and fail a lot. Which often HURTS. And not everyone knows how to handle rejection well.

That’s exactly why self-amusement requires a good deal of confidence in yourself.

Excited man full of self-amusement having fun with brush of vacuum cleaner at home

To do this well and to really draw people in, you have to trust yourself and believe that your personality is more than enough to make other people enjoy your company.

This requires solid Inner Game (Mental Skills). Because if your inner game is lacking, if you doubt yourself a lot, constantly feel anxious and nervous and are insecure about things – you’ll have an extremely difficult time letting loose, being your charming self, having fun with women and amusing yourself in the process.

Focus on having fun and girls will like you a lot

No matter if your goal is a short term casual fling or a long-term relationship, you need to focus on having fun during your dates.

That’s because if you focus on the wrong thing when you’re with a girl – on some ulterior motive like getting laid, getting her to like you, her becoming your girlfriend or whatever – then you won’t get it. Since this lack of outcome independence will screw your whole interaction, as you’ll appear needy and as a try-hard.

If you continue doing this, you’ll keep disappointing yourself and dating will NOT be fun for you. So you’ll eventually get discouraged and even possibly end up as an incel.

That’s why your goal should always be on FUN when you’re meeting with women. Then everything else will fall into place.

When your goal becomes fun and not some ulterior motive like getting sex – you’ll start enjoying the dating process much more. Success and failure won’t wreck you emotionally and you won’t give up as easily when things don’t work out with some girl.

So, when you’re meeting a girl, simply ask yourself: “Is this someone I can have fun with? Would I like hanging out with her? Let’s find out!”

This mindset will put you in the driver’s seat. Suddenly, you’ll be in control of the interaction and not someone else.

If you have fun with her – she’ll get another date with you or you may even choose to hook up with her. If not, then you simply thank her for her time, tell her things didn’t work out and you didn’t feel a spark or a connection, and NEXT her! Then move on to another girl who you can have fun hanging out with.

I mean, isn’t the point of any relationship to enjoy each other’s company? So why would you want to get into a relationship with someone if you’re not having fun?

If you can’t have fun, what’s the point of even going out with the girl???

If you keep having fun with women, eventually they’ll want to have sex with you and get into relationships with you, simply because of your PERSONALITY. Since your personality is key to seducing women successfully.

And if you know how to spark some sexual tension and create that sexy and flirty vibe, women will want to sleep with you much sooner.

How to be fun with women so they love your personality

The thing you have to know about how to have fun with women is that first you have to BE fun.

There’s a huge difference between having fun and being fun.

If you’re going to have lots of fun with other people, you have to be a fun person to hang out with in general. Which also means you can’t be an asshole, mean, bully, criminal, harmful, etc.

People won’t have fun with you if you go around being mean to them and stealing their shit, for example. (Thank you captain obvious :D)

But the greatest news of all is – You can learn to be fun! (You can even learn to be funny, as a matter of fact!)

It’s not that difficult to learn how to be a fun person, to be honest. Because most people like having fun in general and there’s tons of fun to be had all around. If you just take the time to notice what’s going on around you and put your own personal twist on the way you see things.

Once again, you have to AMUSE YOURSELF first. And I’ll tell you how to do that soon.

woman having fun with man who is amusing himself with a broom, pretending it's a guitar, while doing chores, showing that it's easy to seduce women with your personality

When you’re able to amuse yourself, you’ll generally have a good time no matter where you go. So it’s a skill you should learn not just for women’s sake – but for your own as well. Because it’s a great cure for boredom, stress and anxiety, among many other things.

When you’re able to be fun no matter where you go, people will want to hang out with you. And women will want to talk to you and get to know you better.

Besides that, when you enter the state of self-amusement, it gets you out of your thoughts and into the action – into the present moment. Allowing you to generate a great playful and fun vibe. And that vibe is perfect for picking up women.

From there on, you can start HAVING fun with women. By showcasing your personality, letting it shine, making yourself laugh, and having them laugh a lot as an added outcome. (As collateral damage lol)

What’s more, the key to having the perfect first date is fun. Because if you don’t have fun on your date with the girl you’re with – she won’t want to meet you a second time.

Most importantly, to have fun with women you have to be ENJOYING YOURSELF IN THE ENVIRONMENT YOU’RE IN. Otherwise you’ll just look like a try-hard.

How to be a fun person so girls like you

Being fun is something you ARE – not something you do. And you can learn how to be a fun person with some practice.

To be a fun person, you have to embody the fun, happy-go-lucky energy yourself. And to have fun with women – and people in general – you simply spread that positive energy and playful vibe with the people you meet, from a healthy place.

To achieve this, you need to let go of your need to control your interactions and what you say INTELLECTUALLY. And let your intuitive self take over control.

You need to do this to get out of your head and to stop overthinking things, so you can flow more naturally in social situations. So it doesn’t feel forced. Because people aren’t attracted to the content of what you say – they’re attracted to the FEELING and the VIBE you give off. And seduction is all about emotions and how you can make women feel.

Becoming a fun person starts with creating fun mindsets for yourself. So the party lives within you and you can have fun no matter where you go.

This takes CURIOSITY and some work, obviously. Since it always takes effort to learn any skill. And being fun is nothing more than a SOCIAL SKILL.

Most importantly, it’s all about being curious about everything that’s happening around you, as well as your inner thoughts. So you can notice all the quirky, weird, strange and interesting little details. And then voice the things you notice to others in new and even more quirky, weird, interesting, ridiculous, funny, exciting, entertaining, dramatic and even ludicrous ways. While also asking various fun-provoking questions.

This requires some wit and quick thinking on your part, but you can train those things as well. Since no one’s born with a sharp wit or intellect.

To do all this really well, you need to learn about the world as much as you can. And that all starts with reading, watching, and listening to various amusing content.

You can also be a fun person by being funny. And you can learn to be funny by reading books about humor, watching stand-up, studying comedy, practicing joking around with your friends and family, etc.

The more experience and knowledge you get with humor and comedy, the more funny and new ways you’ll find to combine what you already know with what’s happening in the world around you.

Once you practice this enough, you’ll start seeing plenty of opportunities to make funny comments, jokes and witty remarks pretty much everywhere you go. And you’ll be able to figure out what types of humor you resonate with personally, to fully express yourself.

However, to have fun and be a fun person – it’s NOT NECESSARY to be funny. Being funny and humorous is just one way of having fun with other people.

You don’t have to be funny to be fun to hang out with

The above example is just one way to have fun – by using your send of humor. But you don’t necessarily need to focus on being funny because funny people aren’t necessarily more sexually attractive.

However, being funny displays a ton of great characteristics about yourself which makes women like you.

But you can be fun in many other different ways.

For example, by being open to new experiences, being spontaneous, adventurous, enthusiastic, passionate, PLAYFUL, daring, challenging, dramatic, and many other different things. Even dangerous can be fun, in the right circumstances.

Young couple at the beach having fun, laughing and drinking beer, discussing how to seduce women with your personality
Young couple at the beach having fun, laughing and drinking beer

Telling various interesting, exciting, ridiculous, dramatic, weird and entertaining stories from your life and the lives of others is also a great way to spread the fun energy to others. But learning how to be a good storyteller is a separate skill on it’s own.

The key, once again, is to be AMUSING TO YOURSELF first and foremost, throughout all of it. Everything you do has to be amusing to you first – then others will find it amusing as well and will have fun with you as a result.

Pro Tip: it pays to know a little about a lot of different things. So try to keep up with current events, movies, series, books, shows, and even memes. Then you’ll be able to contribute to most conversations in fun and amusing ways.

Fun lives within you, not outside of you

Too many people think of fun as a noun – that it’s something people have that’s outside themselves.

But true fun LIVES WITHIN YOU. That’s the whole point of self-amusement. You amuse yourself with various random things you come across, by thinking of something in your mind that makes you laugh or smirk, or even smile.

Fun is always created and experienced in the mind first. It’s not created outside of you.

It’s also not created by your various circumstances.

Genuine fun is something you experience based on your thoughts. And that’s internal, all in your head.

So you could put me on the moon – I’d still have fun. Because I can amuse myself almost endlessly with the things I see and the things I’ve seen. Even silence can be amusing in the right circumstances. And anyone can learn how to do that as well.

So the really good news is that you don’t have to change your life to start having more fun.

Because lots of people think they need to go to some place, find some new friends, change up their life somehow or buy something cool to have fun. And that’s exactly the kind of mentality that keeps them stuck in a rut and unable to have fun – they think they need some external thing to bring the fun.

It’s important to never stop playing and to never forget how to be a kid. Then you’ll be able to have as much fun as you want.

To do that, you have to STOP taking yourself so seriously. And you have to be comfortable with putting your personality on the line when you’re around girls and talk about something that entertains you first and foremost.

Now I’ll show you WHY you should put a lot of effort into becoming a fun person who women like to spend time with.

Having fun with women is in your best interest

We love to be around fun people because they’re magnetic. They bring a youthful and elevating kind of energy that lifts up our spirits and brightens our day. Plus, fun people make us feel like a kid again, which is always nice.


So when you learn how to be fun in general, it’s time to start having lots of fun with women.

For example, I once went on a first date to an Aqua Park in Sweden with a girl who was extremely fit and good looking. I was nowhere near her fitness level since she had nice visible abs and I didn’t – but who cares.

Incidentally, I really like going to beach/aqua-park/sauna and similar first dates because I always get to see how the woman I’m with looks underneath her clothes. Personally, I don’t find fat women attractive at all and am very picky in that regard. I need to feel that primal, raw, sexual attraction before I decide if I want to seduce the girl or not. Which actually helps me a lot with seducing them.

Anyway – we went to the aqua-park, got in, changed clothes and went out the other side into the pool area. Standing there, barely covered by anything, in front of each other.

Right away I beam a MASSIVE smile. A mischievous ear-to-ear grin, like a kid in a candy shop.

She notices it directly, of course. And many girls ask at this point: “What are you thinking about?” And you can tell a LOT about how they feel and how much they like you right then and there by their tone of voice, their cadence, inflection, volume, pitch, emotion, etc.

Then I say something like “Hey, it’s something important I’ll tell you later” or some similar thing. Even a stupid and playful “Hey, that’s for me to know and you to find out!” cliche reply will do the trick. The point is to delay gratification for her and imply that it’s something she’s not allowed to know yet but it’s something good/fun/interesting/etc.

This way you introduce INTRIGUE right away. You introduce a GAME – something for her to play and find out what happens.

Suddenly, the Game is ON.

That’s why seduction is called game, by the way. You SHOULD play stupid little games with women as much as you can. Like thumb-wrestling, making her guess stuff or you guessing things about her, mock-fights, etc., just like kids do. I know I always do and it creates a really fun vibe.

guy and girl having lots of fun at an aqua park going down a water slide

So anyway – I say “Let’s go!” while smiling and beckon her to come with me.

I proceed to have fun with her, by asking various provocative questions, making some witty and sassy comments, teasing her about things I find and see, all while touching her when there’s a good opportunity to do so, to establish that I’m a physical guy, to create comfort, safety and trust. Like taking her by the hand and leading her to some attracti0n. Or shoving her into the pool – which you obviously must do when you’re at an aqua-park. Or high-fiving her when she successfully goes through the slides, etc.

All while acting like some happy-go-lucky imbecile, having fun on the swings, jumping from ropes, going through the slides, etc. Basically doing the same bullshit I’d do with any of my friends who I’d go to the aqua-park with.

While we do this, I also get to know her and find out who she is as a person. And she gets to know me. Because my questions sometimes go from provocative and deep to personal and emotional.

Like “What’s the stupidest, CRAZIEST shit you’ve done without anyone finding out that you wish you could tell someone, but haven’t told anyone?”

That’s a funny question, by the way – not a “deep” one. But it’s rife for lots of teasing, playful bander, pushing and pulling, etc. I love asking funny first date questions that are provocative.

And some women will have some funny things to say in answer to that question. You then ask further questions, while teasing her playfully about the things she says, nudging her, prodding her, “tickling” if and when there’s a good opportunity, etc. Which will create a ton of comfort, rapport, trust and even attraction because of the touching and playfulness.

After a while of all this, she’ll start enjoying herself and will be having fun with you.

The only thing you need to do then is create sexual tension. Which will get her to think about sex. Which will inevitably get her to think about sex with YOU – because you’re the closest guy there who she could associate sex with. And once that happens, you’ll know if you’re gonna get laid that night or maybe see her for another date (Or even get rekt and lose all your chances you’ve had with her completely.)

Because then you’ll know by her reaction (takes some experience to spot) if she wants to have sex with you or not.

If she doesn’t, you’ll often get the “Hey, I had fun, you’re really great, but there’s no spark, no chemistry” text within the week. Or she might re-schedule to meet you again.

If she does… well let’s just get back to the story:

Wouldn’t you know it – after being in the Aqua Park for over an hour having fun, at one point, after spending like 20 minutes in a Jacuzzi talking about various bullshit and touching each other more and more because we’re sitting very close to each other, I saw a familiar look on her face – the fuck-me-eyes. So I snuck her into one of the aqua-park’s bathrooms in the men’s dressing room, locked the door behind us, put the water tap on max to drown out the noise and we fucked there.

We hooked up simply because we had FUN and she really enjoyed my company and my PERSONALITY. And because I know how to build strong sexual tension to capitalize on all the attraction I’ve built through fun. But I do it AFTER we have fun and after she already likes me.

That’s because creating sexual tension BEFORE a girl is into you will just make her think you’re a creep, pervert, weirdo, etc. But when you get good at this, you’ll be able to spot signs of sexual tension between you and the girl, so you’ll know when to make your move.

You see, I was amusing myself first and foremost and she really enjoyed it. All I needed was a bit of sexual tension, which led directly to sex. And sex is the ultimate form of mutual amusement between people.

Continue learning To Seduce Girls With Your Personality

Now that you know why it pays to learn how to be a fun person so women enjoy your personality, it’s time to learn how to actually become a fun person!

The next article in the series, the Part 2 is a step by step guide on how you can become a man who’s very fun to be around. A man who women love to hang out with and want to get in casual and serious relationships with.

It’s all about creating specific mindsets for having fun, building a self-image that includes seeing yourself as a fun person – along with a practical exercise – and then removing any negative beliefs you may have about having fun and showcasing your personality to other people.

Series on how to seduce women using your personality

For your convenience, here are all the other parts of this series on how to have fun with women and seduce them using your personality:

You’re here – Part 1: You’ve seen why focusing on fun is so important and that it’s possible and necessary to seduce women using your personality and nothing else.

Part 2: I’ll give you a step by step guide on becoming a fun person so women enjoy your company, want to hang out with you as well as get into both casual flings and serious relationships with you.

Part 3: I’ll provide several really good techniques and strategies on how you can easily have fun with women on your dates, as well as in nightclubs and bars – and show you my secret weapon I use to have a great time with women.

And Part 4: In the final part I’ll explain how an introvert can become extroverted for a time and show you an example of when I was the life of the party, even though I’m naturally an introvert.

I promise if you read and learn all of this and apply it, you’ll have as many girlfriends or lovers as you can handle! Honestly, focusing on fun and showcasing your personality is the secret sauce of seduction.


saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.

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