Your personality is key to seducing women.

Everyone wants to learn how to become successful with women and consistently seduce a woman that they like – but no one wants to invest the necessary time and effort required to develop themselves as a person and get success with girls handled once and for all.

A lot of guys are searching for various quick fixes – tips, tricks, lifehacks, pick up lines, and seduction techniques that they think will solve all of their problems for them – without actually wanting to change themselves first, to fix the problem at its core.

Quick fixes are bullshit – and everyone who’s peddling them are in it for the money, and not to help you.

I’m about to tell you what works and what doesn’t – and why it works. I’m about to tell you how to seduce women by relying on nothing but yourself – instead of random and irrelevant external things.

So if you’ve ever wondered how to seduce a woman you like, or even the girl of your dreams, and get your love life handled – read on! Getting a girlfriend becomes a breeze when you do this.

Start developing your personality for seduction.

So let me reiterate – How often do you hear about guys complaining that they don’t know how to attract and then seduce the women that they want?

Pretty often!

But then those same guys go looking for various “seduction and pickup techniques” in hopes that they’ll learn to say something mind-blowing or perform some specific action which will magically make all women and hot girls attracted to them and instantly fall in love.

And after they fail to successfully use these magic seduction techniques and “the best ways to attract women” – they get frustrated, angry, and ultimately give up.

The secret to attracting and seducing girls and women is a little bit different than just learning what things to say and what to do. It’s all in the how and why – not the what.

That’s because what will work for one guy may not necessarily work for another – since their personalities, approach, attitude, confidence levels, and everything else will most likely be completely different.

And that is exactly why you can’t rely on most “pickup gurus” that teach you “amazing and awesome techniques that will make every girl want you and instantly fall in love with you!”. While these techniques may indeed be awesome and work – they will mostly work only for the guys teaching them and those who are of similar personality – not the general public!

Let me explain why:

The guys who teach these seduction and attraction techniques have been developing themselves and learning these things for years. They have changed their personality to that of an extrovert or an ambivert in the process – they have raised their confidence levels, got their body language and similar things in order, fixed most of their conversation and social skills mistakes – and generally got a ton of real world experience under their belt.

They have become unconsciously competent at attracting and seducing women – through years or learning and experience. They know what they are doing.

So they walk up to the beautiful woman, or the hot girl, and talk to her, say certain things, do certain other things – and the girl swoons! She becomes attracted to them, and they’ll most likely end up having sex later on.

Their seduction and attraction techniques work – because they are completely congruent with them.

And then they pass these same techniques and concepts on to some shy, introverted, nervous, anxious and inexperienced guy, and say something like “Here’s what you do – now go and do it! I know it works because it works for me and I’ve done it!”

Then the student walks up to the girl that he’s interested in – and says exactly what he was told to say – word for word, without any feeling behind the words or even without understanding the underlying WHY of why something like this would work.

And then they fail miserably. They get brutally rejected, or completely ignored, brushed aside, and maybe even humiliated. And then they wonder why it didn’t work and reinforce their negative beliefs that they’re worthless, that something must be wrong with them, that they’re losers.

Why does this happen to them?

fear of rejection

The answer is simple: They were not congruent with the things that they said and the seduction techniques that they tried!

Something that works for a confident, extroverted, experienced and interesting guy who has spent years developing himself, his attractive character traits, his social skills, and his personality to the point where he’s got his things together will most likely never work for someone who’s anxious, nervous, shy, and who’s never spent any time really developing himself at his core or learning the social skills by taking action and getting experience.

And that’s the inherent problem with “pickup gurus” and the whole seduction community in general. It’s not personalized – it’s too broad – and people focus on certain things while completely negating other ones, and the big picture in general!

If you hear of a certain technique, a way to approach, a conversational tip or hack, and want to use it and experiment with it yourself – you need to understand that it will only work if you’re congruent with it.

You need to understand that it’s all in your attitude, mindset, presentation and execution.

If some guy goes up to a girl and says to her directly “Hey baby, want to go to my place tonight and fuck all night?” – he’ll probably get slapped, or simply brushed off and completely ignored.

But if another guy, who knows the intricacies of both verbal and non-verbal communication, who’s spent time and effort developing himself and his personality to the point where he’s unconsciously competent, trusts in himself, his body language, eye contact, social skills and everything else that’s relevant, goes up to that same girl – she’ll probably accept his invitation – because she’ll see that he’s for real, and not some poser who learned a silly “pick up line” or techniques on how to pick up girls.

And that is exactly why “pick up gurus” are out of style right now. Most just teach specific techniques without fixing the underlying reason behind why most guys fail with women – their personalities and character traits.

They sell band-aids that may or may not be helpful at that time, and not self-development with certain core principles and mindsets that makes sure you’re always naturally attractive to women.

5 main reasons why developing your personality is the way to go:

We’ll start simple and ramp things up as we go.

Some may be obvious, some not – but they are all crucial if you want to truly learn how to seduce women and get this part of your life handled.

1. You become a more interesting person in general.

You want to be interesting to women and easily grab and keep their attention when talking to them? You want to be able to talk about various things and never run out of things to say to women and girls? You want to bring value and insights into your conversations other people?

Guess what – your personality is key to this.

Personality definition – the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character.

So how do you develop it? By experiencing life.

Sounds corny? Listen carefully:

How do you experience life? By getting off your ass, getting out of your comfort zone – going outside and experiencing what the world has to offer.

Travel, join some classes, get a hobby, meet and talk to new people daily, experience various social situations and interactions with said people, learn social skills, try them out, get experience, fail a lot, then succeed a lot, become more confident as a result – and constantly learn.

And after a while of that, as if by magic – you’ll inexplicably end up being interesting when you talk to the girls that you like, the women that you desire, and people in general.

Don’t know where to start?

Easy – go to a place where there are a lot of people, like a shopping mall, park, beach, bar, etc. – and then just walk up to people who seem interesting, introduce yourself and start a conversation by saying simple stuff like “Hello” and paying them a specific honest compliment.

By that, I don’t mean that you should walk up to people and say “Wow you’re pretty!”, or “You look interesting”.

Instead, while walking up to them, notice any detail that stands out – maybe it’s the hair, the clothes, the shoes, how they hold themselves, their body language, and so on and so forth. Then go up, introduce yourself and tell them that you’ve noticed that interesting detail about them. And guess what? 95% of the time you’ll get a positive reply – and you can go from there!

The content does not matter – because as long as you go up and introduce yourself – you’ve already won.

You may get accepted or rejected by the person you walked up to – but it does not matter because both outcomes are perfectly fine!

If they talk to you – perfect! Isn’t that what you wanted? Talk to your heart’s content, get to know each other and maybe find some interesting stuff for both of you to do together. Make friends, lovers, and so on.

If you get rejected – awesome because it’s a great opportunity to learn!

You get a chance to reassess yourself and see what you did right and wrong; maybe it was your approach, maybe your body language, maybe the things you said or, most importantly, HOW you said them. Maybe you’re just too nervous, anxious, afraid, doubtful and so on. Find your mistakes and LEARN from them, so that your next approach becomes much better!

I never said these would be “quick” ways to become successful with women. I just promised to tell you what works and what doesn’t – if you want to learn how to seduce the women and girls that you like.

Incidentally, in case you have problems with various psychological barriers, self-esteem issues and other insecurities like approach anxiety, fear of rejection, shyness and so on that I mention above – sign up for my newsletter to get a full free course on how to effectively deal with them in a real and practical way.

become interesting

In essence, once you become more interesting – you become more valuable as a person, creating value wherever you go due to your life experiences – instead of faking value in hopes to attract and seducing a woman.

2. Your true self starts to shine

Remember the now-cliche advice that says “Just be yourself!”, or “All you have to do is be yourself and everything will work out!”, or hundreds of other similar catchphrases.

What most of this advice fails to make clear is that some people are just naturally unattractive.

If you say “Just be yourself” to someone who’s neglecting himself and always sitting at home, playing computer games or watching TV – he’ll never get off his ass and start developing himself.

Why? Because he likes playing video games and watching TV – and he’s staying true to that self.

Can you fault him for that? Not really – as long as that’s what makes him happy.

But the minute that he becomes unhappy and wishes he knew how to pick up girls and seduce women because he’s all alone and isn’t sexually satisfied because he can’t get laid – he becomes unfulfilled.

And unfulfilled people don’t lead happy lives.

So what does your personality have to do with being true to yourself?

Simple – when you develop certain attractive character traits and become a well-rounded person – you can say anything and it will work. You start to rely on your sense of humor and natural wit instead of pick up lines and seduction techniques. Here are the character traits that I’m talking about: The Main attractive character traits that make men irresistible to women.

If you get your shit together – you’ll be able to talk about anything with girls and the women that you like – and they’ll be interested most of the time.

It’s not the content – it’s the meaning behind the words. So you’ll be able to talk about computers, anime, video games, your stamp collection or the transformer action figures you have in your room – it won’t matter because you’ll know how to make the conversation interesting, engaging, fun, wacky, witty, and exciting, to suit the situation.

You’ll be able to talk about your passions and people will become interested in them.

When you have an attractive and magnetic personality – you realize certain things. Things like not giving a fuck about what others think, not judging or being afraid to be judged, emotions being key to success with women, and so on.

As a result – everything that comes out of your mouth is going to be pure gold and real value – and your true self will start to shine.

And here’s why emotions are the key to spiking massive attraction: Why Do Women Like Bad Boys and Don’t Respect Nice Guys?

But what is your true self?

That’s completely up to you as an individual and it depends on your own unique set of values, ideals, wants, needs, likes and dislikes, as well as your thoughts and sense of humour.

It’s the person who’s apologetically and unabashedly you. Imagine if you could talk to EVERYONE as if they were your absolute best friend in the world who you could share everything with and have fun talking to.

Wouldn’t that be great? And trust me, it is!

3. You learn to trust yourself and get rid of self-doubt

Do you want to know the reason why millions of guys who learn how to seduce women and attract the girls of their dreams fail?

Because of self-doubt.

It’s one of the main reasons why people don’t even try or eventually give up.

Self-doubt is one of the most unattractive qualities in any person, be they male or female.

When you start learning how to pick up girls, read some lines and techniques – and then see a hot girl that you like, you naturally want to approach her.

But once you start walking up to her – a million different negative thoughts and reasons why you’ll fail will start popping up in your head.

Things like “What if she doesn’t like me?”, “What if she has a boyfriend?”, “What if I say something stupid or dumb?”, “Why would a beautiful woman like that even be interested in me?”, “Why don’t I know what to say to her so that she likes me?”, “Why am I even approaching? This will not end well!” – and so on, and so forth, to the point where you completely psyche yourself out and end up not approaching her and talking to her at all.

Sounds very familiar? Don’t worry – we’ve all been there. I’m someone who gets laid pretty much whenever I want to, sleeping with 3-5 different girls every week, if I feel like it. But there were times when I would completely freeze up and couldn’t even approach women, at all. My brain was my own worst enemy!

And how did I get rid of that massively crippling self-doubt? Easy – I decided to develop myself as a person no matter what. I decided to develop my personality and attractive character traits whatever it takes. I decided that I wanted to learn how to seduce women and be able to walk up to any girl and talk to her.

The point was to learn how to go up to any woman in the world and start a conversation with her. Whatever happens next is just a bonus – it is irrelevant, as long as I see a beautiful woman that I like and approach her.

Failing or succeeding – it doesn’t matter – as long as I approach.

During that self-development process, I learned certain key concepts and how to control my thoughts and emotions so that I wouldn’t get negatively affected while approaching – and wouldn’t fear rejection.

And wouldn’t you know it? That eventually removed my approach anxiety and fear of rejection completely – to the point where my brain either totally disregarded any doubtful thoughts or didn’t even think of them.

And what does this have to do with your personality?

Simple – when you develop yourself to the point where you actually start to LIKE YOURSELF AS A PERSON – your thought patterns change, your limiting and negative beliefs disappear, and you adopt new, powerful and attractive core beliefs that prevent you from doubting yourself in key situations, such as approaching and talking to women, then attracting and seducing them.

trust yourself

You start to trust yourself and rely on yourself, which breeds unflinching and uncompromising core confidence.

4. You start to focus on the important things in life

Once you start developing your personality and getting experience from taking action – your whole perspective on life is going to change for the better.

A lot of people who decide to develop themselves into a better human being and a person start to realize how the world works. A shift in their mentality, attitude and perception happens – and they become more grounded and well-rounded as an individual.

They realize their goals in life – how much they want to be successful with various things – successful at their jobs, with women, with family relationships, friends, passions, ambitions, and everything else that matters to them.

It gives them a new perspective on life and it shows them the broad range of available possibilities in all things.

Some people will find themselves while they are in the process of self-development. Others won’t – but will get one step closer.

Do you need a girlfriend to be a successful person? Do you need to spend 10 years studying to lead a happy life? Do you need One Billion dollars to be happy, or is your life going to be just as happy if all you earn is 20 million, or 2 million, or no millions?

Core questions like that, which delve deep into your life goals, ambitions, and happiness, are the things that make up your outlook on life and enrich your personality.

Self-development is a long process and a journey of self-discovery.

life goals discover yourself

Quick fixes are bullshit – and everyone who’s peddling them are in it for the money, and not to help you.

Becoming successful with women and learning how to seduce girls and become an attractive person is all about self-development.

That’s because there are hundreds of tiny things you need to learn, adjust, and internalize.

And pick-up lines, techniques, routines, certain actions, etc. are just ONE DETAIL. They’re a part of the larger whole – a cog in the machine that makes you a truly and naturally attractive person.

If you learn them and don’t get all of the other stuff handled – they won’t work.

If you neglect the whole and focus on one or several little details – you won’t be successful.success Michael Jordan

You don’t master basketball by just mastering free throws or field goals and neglecting everything else. You need to master footwork, passing, game sense, three-pointers, dribbling, teamwork, strategy, defense, offence, and everything in between – a large number of skills, details and abilities – in order to be successful at that sport.

And once you master those skills – you mix them up with your unique personality which adds a lot of flavor to your style – and you become a force to be reckoned with.

Like Michael Jordan, for example.

So why would attraction and seduction be any different?

It isn’t – it’s just like any other skill, a SOCIAL skill which you have to learn in its entirety – not just focus on one or two aspects and hope for the best.

And once you learn the necessary things – you mix them up with your personality and get laid like a rockstar, have abundance with women, the ability to get a girlfriend whenever you want, have lovers all around the world – and get this thing handled for life.

But if your personality sucks, no matter the skills that you may have – you won’t ever be effortlessly successful. You’ll only see moderate success that comes from manipulation, not connection and natural attraction.

5. It’s your future

The future is here and it’s now easier than ever to meet people.

With the advent of the internet, smartphones and other advances in communication – you can meet new people instantly, whenever you want – even out of the comfort of your own home.

It’s now easier than ever to practice communication and social skills – just go to any forum, live chat, social games and platforms or similar places, and talk to people.

But even though that will help you develop better communication – it won’t make you instantly attractive when you meet people face to face because meeting someone in real life is a completely different experience. The internet won’t teach you how to seduce the women that you like or how to get laid a lot – if you don’t actually go out into the real world, take action, and get solid experience from social interactions.

shy guy problems

On the internet, you can take all the time in the world to craft the perfect thing to say.

In real life – when you meet and approach that hot girl you saw – it’s not a drill anymore!

Everything starts to matter: your body language, eye contact, tone of voice, posture, vibe, your demeanor, attitude, execution, the meaning behind the words – and so on and so forth.

If you freeze up and don’t say anything – an awkward pause ensues. If that pause drags on for too long – you’re screwed, since the interaction will turn weird and you’ll seem creepy.

So what does your personality have to do with this?

Simple – once you develop it to the point of liking yourself – you know that you’ll always be enough. Awkward pauses won’t bother you, figuring out what and when to say will be a thing of the past because you know that the content is irrelevant – and strong negative emotions won’t overwhelm you.

You will naturally have better body language, eye contact, tonality, posture, and everything else I mentioned above – because you won’t worry about failure anymore.

You start speaking to women as people who have their own values, ideals, wants, needs, desires, likes and dislikes – just like you. As a result, you form better and stronger connections, you genuinely take an interest in other people, because you don’t have to worry that much about yourself anymore – and people will become naturally drawn to you.

So I hope that you now understand why personality is key and why you shouldn’t focus on memorizing various pick up lines, routines, and techniques to learn how to pick up girls.

They are one part of the whole – useful in certain moments, but never to be completely relied on!

If you first focus on developing yourself as a person – acquiring attractive character traits and getting your personality to the point where you’re naturally attractive – you’ll have no problem figuring out how to seduce women of any caliber.

But personality is a tricky thing:

If we focus on people in general, then we can define personality in terms of our individual differences — that is, the range of different styles of thinking, feeling, and acting.

There’s no correct personality and almost any type of personality can be attractive. So the main point to remember here is to just try and develop a well-rounded and balanced one that is generally amicable.

You have to get to the point where you are HAPPY WITH YOURSELF, which is easier said than done. If you’re happy with yourself, most people will be positively affected by you and get value from what you have to say.

A well-rounded personality means that a person has many different facets to himself. He has experienced a lot in life, has developed various skills, capabilities and is knowledgeable about many things in life. He relies on himself to handle any problems that come along – because he’s experienced problems in his life and successfully dealt with them.

This all comes with experience, that’s why mature guys are generally more attractive than younger guys, but even younger guys can develop this if they constantly get out of their comfort zone and go and experience as much as the world has to offer.

My book focuses on both developing yourself and learning appropriate seduction techniques that stem from you as a person. They’re not rigid and they enhance your current abilities, taking into account the fact that everyone’s a different individual.

You can grab it at

Also, if you want to get your inner game problems handled with proven insights and practical techniques – sign up for the free email course below. It deals with stuff like problems with boundaries, shyness, fear, anxiety, disadvantages, self-doubt, limiting and negative beliefs, developing new core beliefs, and so on and so forth.

It will change your life – simple as that – and shave YEARS off of learning about all of this.

The results? Here’s one of my many lovers – a well-known Russian model and athlete. Me and my girlfriend enjoy lots of threesomes with her when we meet.

saulisdating success proof

Do you want this or something similar? Then stop wasting time and start learning! Eventually attracting and seducing women and girls like this becomes effortless.

So what do you think about your personality? What are your flaws, what are your strengths, and what would you like to improve upon?
Post them in the comments below and let’s discuss!


saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.

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