Get Over Fear of Women And Shyness – Best Practical Exercise

It’s time you learn about the absolute best practical exercise there is on the planet that will evaporate your fear of women. As well as your fear of rejection and talking to random girls on the street.

So if you’re afraid of women and have severe approach anxiety, read on. Because if you actually take the time to do this exercise, I promise it will change your life significantly and for the better.

This exercise is ideal FOR COMPLETE BEGINNERS. People who self-ascribe themselves as being pussies, who have never approached women in their lives and who have crippling anxiety.

That said, every single person will benefit greatly from it. Even guys with advanced skills in seduction.

Those who can already approach and talk to women but would like to get even better results will get great benefits too. Because this exercise, especially the second part, will advance your skills no matter how good you are, simply because it’s good practice. of the fundamentals.

And also because guys who can already do this will get a TON of great interactions and phone numbers. So you’ll be able to get many dates from this and go on to get laid a lot in the process.

Now let’s get straight into it.

Practical Exercise to Get Over Shyness, Fear of Women and Rejection – For Beginners

This exercise to remove fear of women and shyness consists of two parts. The first part is the actual practical exercise, the second part has to do with your Inner Game (Mental Skills). Both are critical for success.

That’s because people with CRIPPLING anxiety who can’t even get over themselves to talk to a girl and say a single word won’t be able to do the exercise. Because it requires some amount of courage to do. Not to mention effort.

So complete beginners who have ridiculous anxiety will first have to perform a mental exercise before doing the practical one. Then you’ll have a much easier time to get over yourself and your mental blocks to actually walk up to and talk to another person.

And if you’re not a beginner, the second part will be really good for you as well. Because it will turbocharge your existing results.

NOTHING will transform you as much as this exercise will, I guarantee it. I can bet money on it.

It’s how I personally went from a totally clueless, anxiety-ridden, socially retarded weirdo who was afraid of people, to sleeping with hundreds of women around the world.

The Practical Part – Outer Game – Destroy Approach Anxiety

Remember, when it comes to getting over fear of women, it’s all about baby steps for complete and total beginners.

Step 1) Pick a day on the weekend and go to a city or town with a decent population where NOBODY KNOWS YOU.

Step 2) Go to a busy street, corner, promenade, etc. Anything with a huge flow of people where you’ll have plenty of women to approach and where people don’t really hang around much so it doesn’t become awkward. (Beaches and Parks work as well but sometimes people hang around and it can become awkward.)

a busy street is the best place to approach women to beat fear, shyness, anxiety and get results

Step 3) Go up to women and start slow by asking for the time, or for directions, or whatever else you can think of that’s very innocent and easy.

Something like “Hey, excuse me, could you tell me the time because my watch doesn’t work?” works fine. Or “Could you tell me how to get to <wherever>?”

You ask your question, get your answer, say thank you and go. Zero pressure.

Do this for ALL kinds of women, not just the ones you find attractive. So include old grannies and little girls. This is just so you get in the mood for talking to people you are NOT interested in or attracted to.

(If you can’t even do that, start by approaching men. To work yourself up to approaching women.)

You should get virtually zero rejections at this stage, unless people are in a hurry or very busy.

After 10 approaches it’s time to take it up a notch. But if your heart’s still beating like there’s a little hamster dancing around in your chest, do 20 approaches to get more used to it.

Expand your conversations

Step 4) Continue approaching ALL types of girls and women. So as not to trigger your approach anxiety as much.

After asking your innocent question say something like “Oh I’m new in town (which is true) and could you recommend some cool sightseeing spots here?” (Or something fun to do in town, or good place where to eat or whatever similar.) Then have that short conversation with them.

You ask your question, they answer. And you follow up with the second. After they answer, say thank you, it was nice meeting you, or something similar, and go. Unless you can think of some follow up questions to when they reply to your second question. Then by all means go ahead and CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION. And make sure you know how to never run out of things to say to women when talking so you’re able to do that much easier.

Now this is the part where you might start getting rejections. Because some people just won’t want to be bothered to talk to some random guy on the street. Or they won’t have the time. Or they simply won’t like you.

That’s perfect and perfectly fine! You’re SUPPOSED to get rejected when you meet people who won’t want to talk to you. You’re not gonna talk to every random person YOU meet on the street yourself in your day to day life, will you? So why would you expect that from others?

When you get rejected, say something like “Alright, thanks anyway” or “Cool, have a good day.” Or “Ok, nice meeting you” and go on your way.

After 10-20 approaches like that, it’s time to take it up a notch.

Narrow down the type of women you approach

Step 5) Now approach women who would be appropriate to have as a friend or go on a date with. So cut out the old women and little girls.

Go up to these age-appropriate women who you could be friends of lovers with and ask your innocent question. Then ask the follow up question from step two.

After you’re done, say something like “Oh wow, you’re so nice to talk to, I’m so and so, by the way, what’s your name?” Or “Hey, you’re so kind to give help like that to a stranger. My name’s so and so, by the way. What’s your name?” and you put out your hand to shake theirs.

The goal is to break the touch barrier and introduce yourself. This will REALLY help with anxiety.

When you shake her hand, watch her reaction.

Notice if she’s comfortable shaking your hand and does it ENTHUSIASTICALLY – or if she does it just to be courteous or friendly. You’ll see this from her body language, her eagerness, and her face.

Basically, if she receives you warmly, smiles genuinely, is eager to shake your hand and her body language is open and positive, that’s a great sign!

Rejections are a part of the journey

Now this is the part where you might start to get stronger rejections. Some women will say “I have a boyfriend” or “No” or even “Piss off, loser!” And that’s completely and totally fine!

When people reject you like that, it’s more of a reflection of their own state of mind and has absolutely nothing to do with you. Since they have NO CLUE WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON. You’re just some rando on the street who they don’t know or care about. That’s how the world works.

Furthermore, they’re also DOING YOU A FAVOR, by not wasting your time and not giving you any false hopes.

Also, when you get a hostile reaction like that, it means the other person has LOW SELF-ESTEEM. Because people with a healthy self-esteem don’t feel the need to be hostile towards others. And understanding this and seeing it in the real world is very good for you. Because it builds CHARACTER.

Get as many of these rejections as you can. They are really good for you. They are not failures because there’s nothing to fail at here. They’re RESULTS. Negative results, obviously, but still results. Because no matter what happens, you will gain LIFE EXPERIENCE.

The point is to get used to negative results and rejection. So you understand that no matter what happens, life goes on.

Rejections don’t matter because you will always get more instances of rejection than acceptance when you cold approach random people. Just like you will if you work in sales with cold calls. Which is why seduction is similar to sales, incidentally.

Besides, you won’t see that person again in your life, most likely. And even if you do, they will often not even remember you since you were a random event in their lives.

That’s exactly why you’re there in a place WHERE NOBODY KNOWS YOU. So you can try again and again until you get used to it, under the guise of anonymity.

You do this until you almost get bored of it. Until you are fully desensitized to negative results and rejection. As long as it’s a decent sized city and busy area, you will have endless opportunities.

Here’s more in-depth information about how to overcome fear of rejection and all its psychological implications in dating and seduction.

Anyway, once you shake her hand and exchange names. You’re free to say “Well, it was nice talking to you but I gotta go!” or continue forward.

For better learning and faster results, try to improvise and talk about various random subjects that come to your mind. Or things that you find interesting.

If you can’t, though, then read on to see the next steps.

So after 10-20 similar approaches and breaking the touch barrier, it’s time to take it up a notch.

Narrow down even more and start complimenting women

Step 6) Now approach women who you find attractive and would like to go on a date with. To remove your fear of women and approach anxiety.

cold approaching women in the middle of a crowded street is difficult but is a must to beat fear of women, get over anxiety and shyness and get numbers and dates

Once again, go up, do the innocent question, then some follow-ups, then tell her your name and ask hers.

While you’re doing this, NOTICE SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT HER. Something you genuinely find interesting/cool/attractive/exciting about her that catches your eye.

Something specific and not vague. Like a piece of her clothing. Or an accessory she’s wearing. Or something about her personality from the way she’s talking to you.

Maybe it’s something about her body language. Or how she stands and carries herself. The way she talks or whatever else that catches your eye.

Now, after you introduce yourself and get her name, tell her about the thing you noticed about her and compliment her on that thing.

Here’s an example: “I really like the way you’ve done up your hair and how it twirls around your ears like that. You must’ve spent hours getting it that way!”

Or “You have a wonderful sense of honesty about you.”

Or “I really like that red dress you’re wearing, it reminds me of the one (some actress wore in some movie/series). I think you’re very brave to wear something so provocative!”

The sky’s the limit, so whatever else you can think of will work fine. As long as it’s specific and genuinely interesting to you.

Giving women specific compliments like that is infinitely better than saying vague and low-effort stuff like “You’re cute, pretty, beautiful, hot.” It’s how you compliment women the right way and make their day, without being weird or creepy.

After that, tell them it was nice meeting them or talking to them, and that you’ve got to go. Or improvise random stuff, just to learn how to think on your feet. It’s all a game anyway, you’re here to LEARN and GET RESULTS as much and as fast as possible, both positive and negative.

Now let’s take it to the next level.

Ask about her, joke around, tease her lightheartedly or tell a story

Step 7) Here’s where things get more interesting. Here’s where your shyness starts to evaporate with every interaction.

After dozens and dozens of approaches, you shouldn’t be very nervous anymore. (If you still are, just keep practicing the steps above, learning from your mistakes and adjusting your approaches. With each approach, things will be less and less awkward and weird.)

Like last time, approach women who you’d be genuinely interested in dating or hookup up with. The hotter the better.

When you approach, ask the innocent question, do the follow up, exchange names and shake her hand and watch her reaction.

If it’s a positive reaction, feel free to proceed to the next step and give her the genuine compliment. Then watch her reaction again.

If the reaction is positive once again, start asking questions about HER. Because it’s time to see if she wants to contribute to the conversation herself and reveal stuff about her.

If you’re a beginner, ask her various “boring interview questions” like “Hey so where are you from yourself?” and “So what are you up to in this town?” and “What do you do for fun around here?”

Again, notice how eager she is to share and talk with you.

To continue the conversation and to let her talk as much as she possibly can without you saying much else, simply repeat some of the interesting words she says to you.

Like if she replies “Oh I go to salsa lessons for fun, I like dancing” then you simply ask “Dancing?” in an inquiring tone. Then she’ll say something like “Yeah I’ve been interested in dancing since I was a kid after my parents took me to a ballet show.” Then you ask her “Ballet show?” and so on. This is called parroting and it’s a great way to get people to talk at great length and open up.

Now it’s time to show her a bit of your personality and charm

Once you get her talking, it’s time to let your personality and charm do the talking.

When you notice a good opportunity, tell her some joke or something you find genuinely funny. Either about the situation you’re in, or something related to what you’ve been talking about. Or something you remember that’s relevant. It doesn’t matter. It can be as silly and as corny as you want it to be, as long as you genuinely find the joke amusing yourself.

Because let me tell you something – SELF-AMUSEMENT is where it’s all at! It’s a powerful way to connect with people emotionally. And engage emotionally with women.

If you can’t naturally insert any jokes, then try teasing her lightheartedly. Read about how to tease women if you have no idea how to do it. Because it’s an amazing skill and one of my personal secret weapons during conversations. Because women LOVE it when you can tease them the right way.

If neither of that works, see if you can tell some relevant, interesting, fun, exciting or dramatic story from your life. Or from the life of someone else – a story you’ve heard from your friends or other interesting people. (Read my post on how to never run out of things to say to women, which I already linked in a step above, on how to insert stories into a conversation.)

After a while you’ll notice that you’ve now been talking to her for like 10, 15 or even 20 minutes. After several approaches like this, you’ll finally understand that it’s NOT A BIG DEAL to have such decent, interesting, fun, exciting and lighthearted conversations with women you find attractive,

Now, when you do all these things, or some of them, you have to watch her reaction again. If it’s positive and she’s still hanging around, you’re pretty much good to go. All lights are green and she’s ripe for a number exchange or an instant date.

Get her phone number or go on an instant date

Step 8) This is the final step to getting over fear of women, approach anxiety, rejection and being super shy in front of girls and people in general.

If all the reactions up to now have been positive and if she’s still sticking around, then she’s interested in you as a person. You’ve caught her attention and she enjoys your company. Or she’d have left by now.

At this point, depending on the logistics of the situation and whether you both have time, you’ve got two main options.

You either tell her you have to go but you’d love to talk to her again because you’ve had a very pleasant time talking to her. And then you exchange numbers.

Say something like “Hey, I have to go but it was really great chatting with you. We should definitely go for a coffee this week. Let’s exchange numbers!

There are tons of different ways you can ask a girl out and get a yes. Just as there are plenty of different ways to approach and get a girls number. Read these to learn alternative ways to approaching and attracting women.

Also, there are some creative ways to ask a girl for coffee as well.

The other alternative is to her out right then and there on an instant date. And believe me, if you’ve been talking for like 15-20 minutes by now, it’s very likely she’ll agree. Because she’s obviously not in a hurry and enjoys your company.

So say something like “Hey listen, we’ve been standing around here for like 15 minutes now and I really enjoy talking to you. Why don’t we go grab a coffee/ice cream/drink/whatever right now, somewhere close by?”

Or something like “Wow, I never expected to randomly meet such a wonderful (interesting, fun, whatever fits her) person today. I have a little bit of time before I have to go run my errands, but why don’t we grab a coffee right now? We can go here” and point to some cafe that you see, or something.

You get the gist of it, whatever works. Find your own words to convey what you want.

And that’s it, you’re basically set for success. It’s a great way to learn how to get laid for beginners.

Now it’s all up to you to execute this plan to get tons of experience and some dates out of it. And eventually girlfriends, lovers, and so on.

Do this exercise 1-2 times per week to get serious results

For total clueless newbies who have crippling fear of women, it’s all about taking baby steps and desensitizing yourself to approaching and talking to girls. And getting rejected obviously.

Do this practical exercise as many days as you can. I’d recommend at least once a week. But for faster and better results, even 2 or 3 times a week, as time permits. For for several hours per day, at least 2-3 hours a day. It’s best to talk to at least 40-50 women the same day, to really have a massive impact on your social skills.

In a month or two, or three and even four, depending on how clueless and hopeless you were when you began, YOU’LL BE CURED OF YOUR SHYNESS, “pussy-ness” or whatever else you call it. And you’ll be able to approach women pretty much anywhere due to the experience you’ll gain.

Continue doing it however long it takes. Persist until you learn the skill of talking to women and until you get over your fear.

Yes it’s literally a LOT of work. But it’s an INVESTMENT in yourself, so it’s worth it.

This is the biggest shortcut to massive success with women you can do yourself, without anyone’s help.

The alternative is to pay a coach thousands upon thousands of dollars who will basically force you to do the same but get you up to speed even faster than you would yourself. Or remain a sexless and miserable pussy with a shit social life and no women.

I guarantee this works really well and brings concrete, long-term change and results in virtually any person who tries it. You just have to face your fears and put in the work.

Here’s what someone else who’s successful with women has to say about this exercise, straight from the comments of one of my most popular Reddit posts on seduction:

But here’s something that will make the exercise even BETTER: The Inner game, mental exercise.

The Mental Exercise – Inner Game – Put Yourself In a Positive State

Now it’s time to learn about the mental exercise that will boost all of the above SIGNIFICANTLY. It will help you in your journey to beat fear of women and all your approach anxiety.

This exercise isn’t difficult and works for every single person in existence, as long as they have a working mind.


It’s called Vivid Visualization. An exercise based on science and proven to work. It’s used by pretty much all world-class Olympic athletes who compete in sports at the top level of professionalism. To put them into the right state of mind and to align their body and mind towards achieving their immediate and long-term goals.

You see, your body and nervous system can’t distinguish between reality, and something that you imagine and see very vividly in your mind.

But you’re not going to do this exercise to compete. You’re simply going to do it to change your mental state. To put yourself into a great, positive, chatty, social mood before you start talking to women. So we’re going to do the exercise a little bit differently, and make it a two-parter.

The exercise itself is pretty simple, actually, even thought it’s incredibly powerful. But the difficult part will be to find a good place to do it. Especially if you don’t have a car or know a quiet place in that town where you can go and sit down and relax for a bit.

So here’s what you do:

When you get to the town where you’re going to approach lots of women, find a good, preferably quiet spot without many distractions.

Either in your car, hotel room, park, or something similar. Somewhere you can sit down, relax, close your eyes and stay like that for 5 to 10 minutes. Preferably 10, doing both parts for 5 minutes each. Even better, for 20 minutes, 10 for each part if you can manage it.

Part One – Vivid Visualization to put yourself into a great mood

Now set an alarm for 5 minutes and do the first part:

Take a few deep breaths to relax and close your eyes.

Remember a moment where you felt good about yourself in your life. Some event where you felt on top of the world. Like when you won something, or achieved something great, got praise from your friends or the people you respect, for example.

Basically, remember the best day of your life. When you felt really elated, happy, joyous, energetic and super positive. When you were in the zone.

Remember how it felt, remember what you heard and what you saw. In as much detail as possible. If you can, remember the smells around you. Immerse yourself into that moment fully and completely. Really feel it and all the feelings you’ve felt that day.

Keep yourself immersed until the alarm rings.

This will put you into a great mental state. As woo-woo as it sounds, you’ll feel more at ease with yourself and have more positive thoughts by default.

You’ll also start feeling the same emotions you felt that great day. This will instantly improve all of your sub-conscious communication and make you feel more alive and excited. And it’ll help you significantly with approaching women.

Women will also respond much more positively to you than if you went up to them in a neutral or negative mood.

put yourself in a good mood with vivid visualization brain exercise, mental training

Part Two – Mental practice to align yourself with your goals and achieve them

Now set the alarm for another 5 minutes to do the second part. This is the part that Olympic athletes use:

Again, take three deep breaths, relax, close your eyes and imagine, as vividly as you can, your goal.

In this case, imagine yourself approaching a beautiful woman and talking to get. Imagine how confident you look, how well you talk and how great you feel while doing so. Then imagine how well she responds to you, how happy she is to talk to you and how good the interaction is.

Again, try to see things as vividly as possible. With all the small details you can notice, like what you’re both wearing, where you’re standing, the sights, smells and sounds around you.

Then imagine all the good and different outcomes. Basically, practice mentally before you do it in the real world. Imagine how you say something to her and then how she responds to you POSITIVELY. Then imagine what you can reply to her response, and what she says to you afterwards.

Mental practice is almost as good as real life practice.

There’s even been a pretty famous study about this called “Inner” Darts: Effects of Mental Practice on Performance of Dart Throwing.

In a similar study to one I linked above, students who didn’t play darts were split into 3 groups. They all threw darts and their results were recorded. Then one group practiced for 20 minutes a day for a week. The second group did nothing. And the third group VISUALIZED practicing throwing darts for 20 minutes a day for a week.

After a week, everyone threw darts again and the results were remarkable. The first group who practiced improved by 24%. The second group didn’t improve at all, something by like 1% I don’t remember. And the 3rd group who did visualization exercises improved by 23%.

THIS WORKS AND SMART PEOPLE USE THIS EXERCISE ALL THE TIME! And you can use it as well to your advantage, in many areas of your life, not just seduction.

Final thoughts on beating approach anxiety, fear of rejection, being afraid of women, and shyness

Fear of women is a huge problem for a lot of men. And approach anxiety is really difficult to beat if you don’t go at it full force.

You see, this exercise is great simply because it forces you to approach not just 2-3 women per day, but like 50-100 women a day.

The more women you approach, the faster it will change your life.

Now it’s all up to you, it’s all in your hands. Follow these steps and go TALK TALK TALK to 20-40-60-100 women a day, at least once a week.

First it will be brutal because you’re new at this and you suck. Just like with any other skill.

Then you’ll be less and less nervous, shy and afraid of women. And little by little, you’ll see how things start getting better. How women react more positively to you. How more and more confident you become. And you’ll develop your own personal style of seduction naturally.

Eventually you’ll start getting a LOT of numbers and dates. That’s when you capitalize on that and get as many serious or casual sexual relationships with women as you want.



saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.

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