Today I’ll talk about some of the most common mistakes you should avoid on a First Date. These mistakes are easily avoided if you use a little common sense and have decent empathy. But you’d be surprised by how many guys don’t realize they’re doing one or several of them.
As simple as they seem, these mistakes can ruin a date quicker than you can ask her “What’s wrong?” Go over them and see if you’ve ever made any of them.
Table of Contents
- 1 Avoiding The Main Mistakes on a First Date
- 1.1 1) Being late
- 1.2 2) Not having a plan
- 1.3 3) Ignoring her comfort
- 1.4 4) Ordering “untidy” food
- 1.5 5) Checking your phone too often
- 1.6 6) Checking out other girls
- 1.7 7) Completely dominating a conversation
- 1.8 8) Mentioning your exes in a bad way
- 1.9 9) Criticizing her tastes
- 1.10 10) Being mean
- 1.11 11) Drinking too much
- 1.12 12) Not ending the date properly
Avoiding The Main Mistakes on a First Date
When you go on a first date with a new girl, you always pursue a certain goal.
You may be interested in a one-night stand or a long-term relationship, but you’ll hardly get what you want if you fail to make a good impression. A successful first date is the key to the next stage of your relationship with a particular woman, be it just getting horizontal or establishing a deep and personal connection.
However, since so much importance is attached to this event, men often start behaving in an awkward way and screw things up. Can any first date be successful? Of course, it can. In fact, it’s not that difficult to have an amazing first date if you know what to do.
But we’re here to talk about the mistakes that many men unknowingly make when they take a girl on a first date. According to https://bridesbay.com/ — these are the most common ones that happen:
1) Being late
In many cultures, it’s considered customary for women to show up a little bit later. Also, many women will deliberately keep a man waiting, as it’s what their grandmothers and mothers did, and they continue this tradition.
If a woman is 15 minutes late but shows up in a nice dress, high heels, with beautiful makeup; you’ll often find it in your heart to forgive her the moment you see her. However, if you make the woman wait for you for 20 minutes, it characterizes you as a negligent and unreliable man. That’s a double standard we just have to accept.
In any event, it’s always recommended to come in advance to explore the venue and get comfortable anyway. So get there 5 or 10 minutes early, it’ll help reduce your anxiety before the date. You may even end up talking to someone just to pass the time. If your date sees this, she’ll think you’re a very sociable and fun guy, so that’s a huge plus.
2) Not having a plan
The worst thing women can hear on a first date is, “What are we going to do?” Seriously? If you think that this way you’re giving them freedom of choice, it’s definitely not the case.
Planning out a date has always been a man’s concern. Besides, you NEED to plan for some logistics if you want to take things to the next level if you both hit it off.
So, you’d better prepare a rough scenario for your first date and put it into action. Decide where you’ll go, what you’ll do, what the entertainment’s going to be, etc. Always have a plan B in case your first one doesn’t work out or something unexpected happens.
Women appreciate it when men take charge. And having no plan is the same as planning to fail. She wants to experience you and your world, she doesn’t want to decide for the both of you where you’ll be going. Leading and leadership is a masculine trait, so own up to it.
3) Ignoring her comfort
Take a moment to look at your date and notice the details. If she’s wearing high heels, your idea to take a stroll in a park and then walk down the cobbled streets in the old town will most likely ruin your date.
If you don’t want to see how your date cries because of her sore feet, be more considerate when planning your entertainment. Opting for a simple café will be a much better choice in this case.
High-heels are just one example but there are many more. Just remember that women want to feel comfortable in your company. You can do something more active on your second or third date if you want. Because then you can plan for it and tell her that she should wear something more sporty and comfortable.
4) Ordering “untidy” food
All those dishes that you can’t eat without soiling your hands should be avoided on a first date. Sauces, in particular, can be very treacherous — you’ll either stain your shirt or get some of it on your nose.
Spicy foods should be avoided too if you plan to end up kissing. It’s also useful to know whether your companion is a vegetarian or vegan. Because if you take a vegan to a steakhouse, you’re going to have a very awkward time.
That said, I don’t recommend you take women out to restaurants on the first date at all. I’d save those for subsequent dates because you don’t want to seem as being too try-hard anyway. That’ll also help if you’re broke.
5) Checking your phone too often
This is very rude behavior.
If you glance at it once or twice during your date, it’s no problem at all because everyone has a life. But if you’re stuck in your phone for the majority of the date, then you’re going to have a bad time. It shows total disrespect, and women are very sensitive to it.
Fight the urge to check your phone every two seconds. If it helps, turn off notifications or turn on Priority-Only mode. Because if you reply to every message you receive, your companion will think that she’s the odd one here. If you ignore her too much she’ll think that you don’t like her at all or that you’re a slave to your phone. Both of these will have a negative impact on your chances of getting a second date.
One of the best compliments for a girl is your mute phone stashed in your pocket. It shows that she is the only object of your interest at the moment.
6) Checking out other girls
If you’re on a date with a particular girl, then other women should not exist for you. Don’t openly flirt with waitresses, don’t size up or follow other girls with your eyes. None of that stuff.
Even if you normally do it uncontrollably, try as hard as you can to focus on your companion only. Otherwise, a second date may not follow.
That said, you’re free to talk to other women and joke around and have fun in general. In fact, that’s even highly encouraged because you’ll seem like a guy who’s very comfortable around women and who other women like. Simply avoid flirting openly in front of her in a blatant way because that shows huge disrespect towards your date.
But if you can’t manage to do that and still flirt with other women, then be prepared to deal with a lot of shit-tests. If you don’t know how to deal with them, your date will quickly end.
7) Completely dominating a conversation
Your conversation should be in the format of a dialog, not a monolog.
Of course, you want to present yourself in the best way and advertise all your merits, but keep it moderate. It should be like a ping-pong game — you pass on some interesting stuff about your personality and experiences and exchange questions. Then she does the same.
The best strategy is to tell her some facts concerning you and then ask her about the same thing or something related to it. When she replies, find something interesting she mentions and then ask her about that.
Also, try not to ask too many questions at once in a rapid-fire way in order not to turn your date into an interview or interrogation. You should feel comfortable talking to each other, it shouldn’t be forced. There are many great first date questions you can ask her to drive the conversation forward.
8) Mentioning your exes in a bad way
Well, you should know that this topic is a little bit of a taboo when on a first date. But this matter may pop up unexpectedly, particularly if she asks you about them.
It’s not that it’s bad to talk about your exes. It’s just that if you begin to whine about them or badmouth them, she’ll think that it’s probably your fault that you’ve ended things with your previous girlfriend. Just mention them briefly and in a good way by remembering something you really loved about them, and change the subject.
But if she doesn’t even mention anything about exes, you shouldn’t bring this subject up. Because she may start remembering her exes and get very emotional in a bad way. Just mentally cross this topic off the list of possible subjects for discussion.
On a date, only two people matter — you and your companion. Again, if she tries to elicit some info about your past relationships, tell a few words about your experiences without giving any assessment or showing emotions and smoothly change the subject.
9) Criticizing her tastes
Let’s say she likes pop music while you’re an old fan of rock. Don’t comment on her tastes in music in any negative way. Your task is to have a good time, not to repel her away.
If you don’t like her preference in music, you can simply say that you’re not really a fan of it and leave it at that. Don’t go on a rant explaining how her style of music is bad and giving her 10 reasons why. Then comparing it to YOUR type of music and explaining why it’s superior. That just shows you’re an egomaniac who has no empathy and disregards others around him.
All people are different and you have no right to criticize other people’s tastes or choices. You’re free to simply say that you like or dislike something though. In fact, be honest about that and don’t feign interest in the things she likes jus to try to impress her. Because that would be very inauthentic of you, which is a massively unattractive quality.
10) Being mean
Being mean to her or other people is one of the worst things you can do on a date. We all know that women like bad boys, but having bad manners is not the same thing!
If you’re mean to the waiter or waitress while you’re ordering food, she’ll quickly judge you for it in a negative way. And she’ll be right to do so and walk out on your sorry ass because there’s no reason for you to be mean to anyone if you’re a decent person. Bad manners are incredibly unattractive. Often, a great way to see a person’s character is to notice how they treat the staff.
Also, if you make the mistake of taking a woman to a restaurant on your first date, don’t be stingy. Men’s stinginess turns women off immediately. There is an old unwritten law saying that men should pick up the tab on a first date. You should stick to this rule if you don’t want to make a bad impression on your companion because you’re the one who suggested going to a restaurant. Calmly turn down her offer to split the bill and act gentlemanly. She’ll appreciate it.
For bonus points, say that coffee or ice-cream’s on her the next time you go out. That’ll help you not seem like you’re too desperate to please her by paying for everything. You can even tease her a little bit about it as well.
11) Drinking too much
A glass of wine, a drink or champagne is always appropriate on a date. Being a kind of “first-date accessory,” it helps relieve tension a bit.
That said, many girls share their stories about drunk guys who overdid it with alcohol on first dates. In most cases, those first dates never had sequels.
So, having a drink or two is entirely acceptable, but don’t try to impress her by how much you can drink before passing out. She’s there to see your personality, not your alcohol-fueled one.
12) Not ending the date properly
The ending of a date is as important as the whole date. For the ending to be in your favor, you need to learn how to attract women and seduce them on your date.
Judging from her reactions during the date itself, you can guess what kind of ending will be appropriate. A kiss and a gentle hug will show you that she’s not too into you because you’ve probably been a meek and timid guy who was afraid to touch her and show your sexuality.
But if she’s all over you, then you know what you have to do because she’s ready for something more. Never ask for permission to kiss her. Attempt the kiss, watch her reaction and play it by ear. Many guys make the mistake of not escalating at the end of the date when the girl is obviously into them. This often makes the girl think you’re clueless and kills attraction. That’s why you need to be sure to notice the signs that she likes you and then take advantage of them.
In any case, thank her for a great evening if you’ve enjoyed yourself.
Now you know what the most common mistakes on a first date are and how you can avoid them. They’re nothing mindblowing but too many guys don’t realize these simple things and ruin the date before it gets anywhere.
If you’re having trouble getting a date in the first place, then learn how to ask a girl out on a date in a way that she’ll often say yes to.
But if you don’t know what to do on a date with a girl for it to succeed, then that’s a huge problem. Many guys often feel anxious do awkward things on their dates because they don’t know what to say to the girl, how to connect, build rapport, trust, comfort and then express their sexuality and create sexual tension. Those things are massively important if you want to have a successful date so that you get laid or she agrees to go on a second one with you.
You owe it to yourself to learn how to have a wonderful time on the first date. Otherwise, you’ll miss out on lots of great hookups and long-term relationship opportunities!