How to ask a girl on a date

If you’re wondering how to ask a girl on a date with you, I’ll tell you exactly how to do that in a way that guarantees your success, almost every time you do it.

There are many ways to do this, but the most important point to asking a girl out on a date is this – do not randomly do it right at the start of your conversation! Doing so is most likely to result in a negative reply because it just comes out of the blue and doesn’t give the girl any good reasons to go out with you. She knows nothing about you, and she’s very likely to reject you.

And this is, by far, one of the biggest mistakes that guys make when asking a girl out on a date, so if you’re someone who’s still doing it like that, then read this whole article and make sure that you’re not doing it that way anymore!

And now, let me show you a much better way to get a date – a way of asking a girl out that actually gives her a good reason to go out on a date with you. A way that results in a very positive answer the vast majority of the time!

how to ask a girl out to go on a date with you
Picture by Joshua Ness

Here’s the right way to ask a girl on a date

This works best for cold approaches, but it works fairly well for asking a girl out if she’s already a part of your social circle as well.

First, get into deep conversation with her, and see if you can have fun together and vibe well. The massive importance of this first step, as simple as it may seem, is not to be underestimated!

If you just walk up to a girl and go “Hey, do you want to go out with me?” – most of the time you’ll get an “Umm, I’m busy”, or “Actually, I have a boyfriend!”, or “Sorry, I don’t see you that way, I only want to be friends”, or a myriad of other replies and excuses in return. That’s because when a random guy approaches a random girl and asks her out before she even has a chance to see what he’s like, she has nothing to go on when accepting the invitation so she’s much more likely to simply decline it since she doesn’t know that guy yet.

So, the first step is to get into deep conversation with her and see if you can vibe well together. If you’re unfamiliar with what vibing is, I urge you to read through my explanation on why a good and positive vibe is massively important to your success with women.

You see if you can vibe well together simply by seeing if you can have a fun, interesting, or exciting conversation with her – one that you’ll both enjoy. Any of these three things will do, but your conversation has to either be fun, interesting, or exciting, or memorable in some other way – which is what makes it engaging rather than boring or dull.

Most guys have boring, awkward, and dull conversations when talking to women that they like – and those quickly turn awkward and uninteresting to most girls who have been hit on a lot. If that turns out to be the case when you’re talking, then no matter how you ask a girl to go on a date with you – she will refuse because she’ll think that your date together will just be MORE OF THE SAME BORING AND DULL AND AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS! And no girl wants to sit through an hour of dull, uninteresting, unengaging, and boring conversation with a bland guy!

That’s not how to ask a girl on a date because it usually results in nothing.

So, to give her a reason to go on a date with you – see if you can have fun and vibe well together first – and only THEN ask her out!

In essence, you can talk about anything to see if you can have fun together, as long as you’re both having a good and enjoyable time while talking to each other, and vibe well. Obviously, you also sprinkle in some mild teasing, joking around, use a few witty remarks here and there, as well as sexual innuendos and other similar things, if you can fit them in, etc. so that you’re both having a blast and laughing and enjoying each other’s company while also connecting a bit and feeling each other out.

And then, after you’ve seen that you’ve both enjoyed the conversation thus far, you do your thing and ask her out to go on a date with you. If she had a fun time talking to you before you ask her out – SHE WILL SAY YES, and will accept your date offer the vast majority of the time!

What to say to ask her out on a date with you

So, the first step is over: you talked to her, you both had either a fun, interesting, or exciting conversation together and you’ve seen that she has enjoyed your company. Now is the time to ask her out, and do it in such a way that it just seems like a natural progression of your ongoing conversation.

Here’s how you do this:

You simply say: “Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you, we should grab a coffee sometime later and do this again! Let’s exchange numbers!”

Or something to that extent – it’s all up to you, and you can pick and choose your own words – don’t follow mine!

That is the simplest and easiest way of how to ask a girl on a date because you’re being honest. You’re simply saying that you’ve enjoyed talking to her in some way, and then say that you should exchange numbers. Once you do that, ask her when she’s free, or suggest a time and place yourself.

Or go “So when are you free this week?” if you notice that she’s also eager to meet you. Then she’ll tell you her schedule, and you’ll decide on a time and a place.

However, if you want to go more direct with this and lead the interaction right from the start (which is very attractive, by the way), you can just go “Well, I’m free this Saturday, let’s meet around 7pm at <whatever place that’s near you>!”

It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that. The whole point of this how to ask a girl on a date article is to show you that you must never forget the first and most crucial step – TALK TO HER FOR A WHILE FIRST, and ONLY THEN ask her out, if you see that she’s enjoying your company!

asking a girl out on a date

Do not ask women out on a date with you if you see that they haven’t enjoyed talking to you! That will almost never work, and you’ll just face rejection after rejection, which will wreak havoc on your self-esteem. If you see signs that she’s not very interested in talking to you, or that she’s not that into you – move on to other girls and stop wasting your time. Not everyone is going to like you, no matter who you are, or what you do – so accept that as part of life and stop worrying about it.

And, if you notice that the majority of your conversations with women go this way, and they don’t seem very interested in talking to you, then take it as a sign that you need to practice your social skills, develop your personality more, and work on building yourself into a more attractive and sexworthy guy in general. It means that learning how to ask a girl on a date is still too soon for you, and you must focus on yourself first. That’s what self-improvement is all about.

Then, once you learn how to talk to women, improve your overall posture, body language, eye contact, and other similar things, you’ll notice that more and more women will start enjoying talking to you and accepting your date invitations when you later ask them out.

When is the right time to ask a girl out?

It’s always the right time to ask a girl out if you’ve already talked to her and saw that you vibe well together.

The only wrong time is if you cold-approached her and asked her out right then and there, from the start. Which is a sure-fire way to get blown out right away!

So, instead of looking for the perfect time to ask her out, simply focus on having a fun, interesting, or exciting conversation with her, tease her a bit, create those emotions so that she likes you more, and then do it.

However, phone game is different – and asking women out like this only works in person. If you’re wondering how to ask a girl on a date over text or phone once you get her number – you must do the exact opposite. Paradoxically, if you first get into a deep and prolonged conversation over the phone with her, or through texting, she will be less inclined to go on a date with you because you’ve already spent so much time talking that it’s almost already a date for her.

So, here’s what I do – I simply text “Hey, I’m free on <whatever day>, let’s meet up at <someplace> at <sometime>.” And if you’re worried she won’t answer, you can even add “Text me back when you see this” at the end. And it’s the same thing over the phone when talking to her: “Hey, I don’t have a lot of time to talk right now, but I’m free on <whenever>. Let’s meet up!”

And I’ve noticed this time and time again – the less time you spend on the phone with women, and the less time you spend texting and instead go directly for the date – the more success you’ll have. It’s weird, I know – and it’s the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to do when you’re not on the phone and meeting in real life!

Other ways of asking women out

If you’re wondering how to ask a girl on a date in a cute or direct way, I’ve already written an article about how to do exactly that!

how to ask for a date

And if you want to know how to ask a girl out in middle school or high school, or even college – the truth is that it’s not that much different.

This way of how to ask for a date works anywhere, in any venue, at any time. You simply see a girl you like – you go up to her and start talking to see if you can click and connect together, and vibe well – and THEN you ask her out. That way you give her a great reason to accept because she’s SEEN that you’re a cool dude, and she’s experienced your personality and (hopefully) liked it enough to want to meet you more.

That’s the ultimate trick – so go out and approach as many women as you like when learning and practicing how to ask a girl on a date. Some will vibe well with you, and some won’t. Move on from the ones you don’t click and connect with to the ones you do, and then ask those girls out that genuinely enjoyed your company. You can practice approaching and talking, and do this often. And then you’ll get more and more successful because more women will click and connect with you.

Seduction and pickup is all about self-improvement, and it’s an ongoing process to better yourself as a person and to develop yourself into a well-rounded, balanced man with a great personality. This, in turn, makes more and more women naturally attracted to you, and you’ll notice that you’ll soon start having fun, interesting, and exciting conversations together with lots of women – flirting with them, teasing them, having a blast – and then getting those numbers and going out on dates!

And finally, if you want to know how to ask a girl out online – then that’s a whole different story. It depends if you connected on Social Media, or on apps like Tinder and Bumble.

Asking a girl out online is its own beast, and I’ll write a different article for it later!

But if you’re already good at getting dates, then click here to learn what to do on them to get laid consistently!


saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.


  1. Monika
    August 17, 2018

    great tips on how to ask a girl on a date, great suggestions!

  2. Dbion
    February 23, 2020

    Helpful information. Lucky me I found your site accidentally,
    and I am shocked why this coincidence didn’t took place earlier!
    I bookmarked it.

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