As we all know – first dates are important!
You meet that special someone, you like that person, and you don’t want to screw up.
That’s where first date questions and conversation topics come in – they can make or break your date!
And that’s exactly what we’re going to focus on!
However, I’ll not focus on the questions themselves. Instead, I’ll tell you why timing matters significantly more than the content, when it comes to first date questions to ask a girl!
I get asked about this pretty much every day; about the various topics to talk about, and about when and what you should ask women on dates to make everything interesting and, most importantly, not boring!
Table of Contents
- 1 First date tips – Focus on having fun!
- 2 1 – Get to know your date and start flirting.
- 3 2 – Time to ask deeper questions.
- 4 This is the point where you can ask questions starting with WHY, and not with What
- 5 Why all of this works:
- 6 3 – Ask whatever it is that you want.
- 7 And some flirty ones, once you want to create sexual tension:
- 8 Conclusion – What to talk about on first date.
First date tips – Focus on having fun!
Forget about all the questions that you want to ask on a first date for a moment, and focus on the timing instead.
Because the “When” is incredibly important!
First and foremost – first dates are meant to be lighthearted and are the perfect time to get to know each other and have fun. Emphasis on the fun part!
That means that you should never start asking any “deep” or otherwise intrusive and very personal questions right off the bat! That will just make you look WEIRD and even CREEPY!
And you don’t want to give off that creepy weird vibe no matter what!
Save all those deep and personal questions for when your date actually LIKES you, because at the start of the date – the other person has no opinion of you and doesn’t really know you all that well.
If you start to go ham right off the bat, and fire off questions about deep topics straight away, she’ll get bored.
She doesn’t want to talk about that sort of thing with you yet – she just wants to see who you are as a person and if she can have a good time with you.
1 – Get to know your date and start flirting.
At the beginning of the date, focus on non-intrusive questions that help you to get to know each other. For example, ask what type of music, movies or hobbies the other person likes.
These are all great first date conversation starters because everyone likes music and movies, and most people have hobbies or something that they prefer to do in their free time.
These topics are simple but UNIVERSAL, and they’ll will provide you TONS of stuff to talk about, if you don’t have the personality of a dead wombat.
These topics are also an excellent way to see what the other person is like, because you can tell a lot about a person by their taste in movies, music, etc.
Just don’t make the conversation bland or boring!
Emotions are the main currency of attraction – add occasional jokes, jabs, teases or something similar into the mix, so that your date gets to see your sense of humor and can laugh and have a good time!
The more you have fun, the more interesting and exciting the conversation, the more attracted your date will be attracted to you.
So the point is to focus on this, and everything else will naturally flow afterwards.
Let your personality shine, talk about the things that interest you, ask about the things that interest her, and then tease her about each and every one of them in a playful, funny, flirty or witty way.
I’m not going to tell you any exact techniques on how to do that here, because the focus of this article is in the meta, not the actual details.
However, if you want an example, go and read this insanely effective way to spike girls’ emotions and make them think you’re the most awesome person ever: Why Role-Playing on dates is Amazing!
If you get the girl engaged and interested in what you have to say – if you make her laugh with joy – you’ll be golden throughout the rest of the date, and ready to ask the more “deep” questions, in order to connect with her afterwards.
2 – Time to ask deeper questions.
Now that your date actually LIKES you and thinks that you’re a wonderful person with a fun personality – you can start asking her about deeper things, to get to know her better.
Good questions to ask a girl on the first date are those that YOU are actually interested in learning the answer to!
These questions have to be important to you, or they won’t seem sincere!
This point is massively important if you want to learn how to build a deep connection with a girl!
For example, I’m personally interested in stuff like fitness, video games, various hobbies, sex, philosophy, comedy, stand up shows, funny and corny jokes and puns, etc.
Other people may be interested in education, money, fetishes, lifehacks, and so on and so forth!
It doesn’t matter what you’re interested in, as long as you’re actually INTERESTED in the things that you want to ask the girl. Otherwise, you’ll come off as dishonest, inauthentic, and not genuine!
This is the point where you can ask questions starting with WHY, and not with What
Best questions that you can ask a girl on a date start with why:
For example, instead of asking your date “What do you do for a living?” or “What university did you attend?”, ask her “WHY did you choose to do that for a living?” and “WHY did you pick that university?”, “WHY do you like that fetish?”, “WHY do you think that pigs can’t fly?”, “WHY do you think that video games are not worth your time?”, etc.
This will give you more insight into the other person, into his or her values, beliefs, ideals and aspirations, among many other things.
And at this point, it won’t seem needy, desperate, creepy or weird to ask these sort of questions, because your date ALREADY LIKES YOU and thinks and feels that you’re attractive. So they’ll be more than happy to share some deeper insights about themselves.
At this point you won’t need any excuses to think of any questions to ask on a first date, because you’ll know that you can now talk about anything – and she’ll be engaged in your conversation, because you didn’t forget to make it fun in the first place!
Just don’t forget this most important thing – NEVER make the conversation boring or bland – keep flirting and throwing in the occasional tease, intentionally ruffle her feathers in a flirty way, or demonstrate your wit and sense of humor, when you see a good opportunity.
It’s all about the emotions that you evoke in her – and you can’t “logic your way into someone’s heart”, because attraction is not a choice and it’s all about how you can make the other person FEEL.
So don’t forget to challenge your date on his or her answers, tease whenever possible, make everything as fun and as lighthearted as you can, and genuinely have a good time with each other.
Holy shit, is it that simple? Yep – it most certainly is! Why? Because when you learn to talk to girls like they’re people too, who eat, shit, breathe, sleep, fart and burp to survive just like you do – things will start to drastically change! Your whole perception of success with women will take a massive shift, and you’ll become much more attractive to people in general!
Talk to girls like they’re your buddy or your best friend, or your little sister, who you have zero problems joking around with, teasing and play-fighting with, or even saying the occasional negative and hurtful thing! And not in the “meek nice guy” kind of way – but in a clear and genuine way, making your intentions known throughout – that you are interested in them and would like to fuck their brains out eventually!
Why all of this works:
Once you get used to talking to all girls like that, especially the gorgeous and hot ones, you’ll quickly start noticing the difference in their interest towards you!
Most stunning girls are so used to guys treating them differently, trying to please them, kiss their ass and otherwise behave in a wimpy supplicate way that they will be shocked, intrigued and then become massively attracted to you, just for the sheer fact that you’re talking to them without giving them ANY special treatment – just like you’d talk to any other person or your buddy!
That shows MASSIVELY attractive qualities; that you’re not desperate, that you don’t aim to please people, that you just don’t give a fuck about the fact that they’re super attractive and the fact that they could get most guys to do whatever the hell they please for them.
They’ll think that you’re so used to talking with beautiful women that they don’t have any effect on you. And that’s exactly what you’re aiming for, for beautiful women to not have ANY effect on you anymore.
You retain your power when talking to them, and they don’t get to use and abuse you.
You will be DIFFERENT, and thus incredibly attractive to them.
Hot women will LOVE you for it, if you internalize this and pull this off!
And do you know what you’ll end up with if you talk to hot women like this?
As a result of this, you will never need to think of any funny or smart, or “unique” and “impressive” first date questions – because you’ll be able to talk about anything that you want!
3 – Ask whatever it is that you want.
At this point, your date should already think that you’re the best thing that ever happened to her.
So feel free to ask whatever it is that’s on your mind. At this point, I usually start asking about more sexual topics, to create a boatload of sexual tension, so that I can later use it to completely seduce my date and go have some more fun together 🙂
I don’t worry about what to talk about on the first date, because I only talk about the things that are interesting to me and the girl. And how do you find out what’s interesting to the girl?
You – surprise surprise – ASK HER! Le gasp! Is it really that simple?
It is, when you had a fun first half and she likes you. She’ll answer pretty much everything that you want at this point if you frame it correctly.
I’ll talk about frames in a later post, so be sure to subscribe for more!
This is, of course, the extremely abridged version as there’s a lot more you need to know if you want to have a successful date, including all the actually interesting questions you’d want to ask a girl.
In fact, you can learn some interesting or funny questions to ask a girl, just below, because some people think too much and can’t yet rely on themselves and their personalities fully.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but you shouldn’t rely on canned lines forever!
A quick google search will reveal some decent ideas:
For example, TheStallionStyle suggests these:
1. “What is something you have tried, but will never do again?”
2. “What quirky habit do you have?”
3. “Who is your best friend?”
4. “What is the one thing you did in your past you wish you could undo?”
5. “What is your biggest fear?”
6. “What is the one place in the world you wish you lived in?”
7. “Would you rather be loved or have a lot of money?”
8. “What is the happiest memory from your childhood?”
9. “What is the most embarrassing moment of your life?”
10. “What would your dream date be like?”
11. “What would you change about your personality & look?”
12. “Who has influenced you the most in your life?”
13. “What is something you used to do as a child that you wish you could still do?”
14. “What is the worst thing about dating?”
15. “What is the one career you would love to enter?”
16. “Are you close with your family?”
17. “What is the one movie that influenced your life the most?”
18. “Where is the one place in the world you feel safe?”
19. “What is the one thing you want to experience before you die?”
20. “What is your ultimate goal in life?”
And some flirty ones, once you want to create sexual tension:
21. “Which is the first region your eyes would wander to if you were to ever see me naked?”
22. “Have you ever decided to kiss or make out with a guy just because you were horny?”
23. “What is the naughtiest moment in your school days that you can remember?”
24. “If I ask you to ask me to do something naughty what would you prefer the most from me?”
25. “Have you ever had a dream about being a lesbian?”
26. “What do you prefer; thongs or panties?”
27. “While you are kissing, what types of other things you prefer to be done simultaneously?”
28. “Where you do like being touched the most?”
29. “What is your wildest sexual secret that you want to indulge in at least once in your lifetime?”
30. “Have you ever had an unexpected orgasm?”
Many of them may seem corny, obvious, silly or too bold. Some of them are actually quite awesome!
But the thing you have to know after reading this, is that they will all work, if you take the all-important timing into account! Because it doesn’t matter what you ask in the end.
They will work even better if you genuinely find some of these questions important to you, and if you frame the whole conversation as if you were talking with your buddy.
And I cannot reiterate the importance of asking only important questions on first dates enough!
Why would you ask someone something that you don’t care about? What’s the POINT of asking questions like “So what type of shoes do you like?” if you’re not then PREPARED to listen to her talk about shoes for an hour?
Remember one of the attractive character traits I talked about in another post:
- Authenticity – When you don’t pretend to like things that you don’t like, or feign interest in things that are not interesting to you, just to try to impress other people.
REMEMBER that, and internalize it! If you do, all of your first dates will be that much more better.
For other attractive character traits, check out: The Main Attractive Character Traits That Make Men Irresistible to Women!
Conclusion – What to talk about on first date.
Talk about anything you want. There are no interesting questions to ask a girl, because it all depends on whether YOU are actually interested in knowing the answer.
So do some self-reflection and make up a list of the things that are important to you personally.
Then, make sure to have an awesome first half of the date – and when the time is right, fire away all of the things that you wanted to talk about on a date with her.
That’s exactly what a 1st date is all about. Fun and eventual connection.
Not pretending to be some prick who’s interested in her haircut, when you actually couldn’t give a rat’s ass about that sort of thing.
There are no good first date questions and topics to talk about – there are only those that you and your date are interested in.
Check out this article to see how I further unravel and explain this concept here: 5 direct and cute ways to ask a girl out on a date – plus a gamechanging secret!
But what do you personally ask on the first date? Are your questions getting enough attention and do the girls answer them with enthusiasm?
Share your experiences and the kinds of questions you ask in the comments below – and I’ll give you some solid feedback on why and why not they work.
This is a very short and abridged version of what I teach in my book. To understand everything in much greater depth and shave years off of learning about the art of attraction and seduction, get it here: http://www.saulisdating.com/
It will help you get a girlfriend or make sure you get laid like a Rock Star in the process of trying to find one!
It will show you more questions to ask on a first date, based on your personal life.