What turns a woman on sexually? Get the Answer!

Today I’ll show you what turns a woman on sexually and how to find these things out without being weird or coming off as creepy.

I see that many guys have problems with understanding why a woman would want to have sex with them. That’s why I’ll explain the things that make women want you sexually. I’ll also give some great tips on how to move the conversation onto sexual topics to find out what women like in bed and what turns them on when it comes to intimacy and sex.

But first, I’ll delve deep into Inner Game and show you how to be the man who most women desire and who they can talk about sex with freely.

what turns a girl on sexually

Before you learn exactly what turns a woman on sexually

First of all, a lot of guys are worried that when they bring this topic of conversation up, women will find it distasteful and weird. That’s because many men are raised to think that expressing our sexual interest is somehow wrong and shameful.

Usually because they had overly-protective helicopter-parents who were very conservative or extremely religious. Because if you keep hearing that sex is a sin and that expressing your sexuality or your desires is bad, inhuman, sinful and wrong… Then you’re gonna grow up with some fucked up views on sex and sexuality.

Well, this couldn’t be further from the truth!

Sexual intimacy is a basic human need. Women are just as normal and ordinary as men, and deep down, they want and crave sex too. Sometimes even more than men do!

In fact, one of the key secrets to being very successful with women and having many sexual relationships is about embracing your sexuality so that she can embrace hers with you.

A lot of women are afraid to be seen as slutty because their peers may shun them. They won’t signal their sexual interest first because it can lead to a lot of unwanted hate from certain people. It’s one of the reasons why learning what turns a girl on sexually can become problematic.

That’s why it is essential when talking to women to show them that you are non-judgmental when it comes to sex.

Honestly, for many women, finding a guy who embraces his sexuality and isn’t afraid to talk about it openly (in a tasteful way) is like finding a unicorn! It is very important for women to feel comfortable and confident about embracing their own sexuality and they can only do it with a non-judgmental guy.

This is one of those things that separates men who are very successful with women from the guys who aren’t. That’s because women aren’t from another planet — they’re regular ordinary people, just like everyone else.

They want to have and to enjoy as much sex as men do, if not more — but only with the RIGHT PERSON!

Someone who won’t judge them for their naughty little desires. Someone who will embrace their sexual side and derive a lot of mutual pleasure from it. Someone they can be themselves with, free from shame, guilt and judgement.

Everything is in the mindset

For example, let’s say you’re trying to learn what turns a girl on sexually and want to do it the old-fashioned way.

If you go up to a woman and ask her something sexual, like “How often do you masturbate?” and then stand there waiting for her answer, most women will think that you are a complete weirdo and perv.

But if you approach the same woman in a manner that shows you’re completely comfortable with yourself and your sexuality, and then you ask her that very same question, things will turn out very differently.

You then show her you won’t judge her for it by saying something like “Oh please, we’re all adults here. We all do it; it’s not such a big deal.” Doing so will show her that you “get it” and it will completely disarm her defenses if you do it the right way.

The little knowing smile, the glint in your eye which alludes you know all her dirty little secrets and many similar things make a whole world of difference when you say something like that to a woman you approach.

But you don’t flaunt that knowledge; you simply let her know in a subtle way that you too are a sexual person and that you won’t judge her for being the same as well. It’s what separates “weirdos” and “creeps” from men who get laid consistently.

This is what sexual confidence and charm are. These things make it very easy to learn later what turns a girl on sexually and entices them to have sex with you.

Like I said, everything is in the mindset.

things that turn women on

Having the right frame of mind when talking to women

Now, I’m going to go off on a little tangent here, but this is critical if you want to be exceptionally successful with women and learn what turns women on sexually.

Honestly, a big part of seduction is how you think about yourself and women in your own head. As wishy-washy as that sounds, inner game is, by far, the most important thing in being successful with women. All that stuff about learning what turns a girl on sexually comes easily if you have the right frame of mind.

As an example, I can tell two average-looking guys exactly what to say when they walk up to a gorgeous woman. They’ll both approach her and say the exact same thing I told them to say. One of them may get slapped because of what he said while the other will have the girl’s full and undivided attention.

Want to know what separates the first guy from the guy who made it work?

Simple; it’s what he had going through his mind in the moment when he approached her. If he thought something like “You look great! We’re going to have a lot of fun together because I’m sure we both like and enjoy sex with the right person as much as anyone else” then he will already be miles ahead of the rest.

That’s just one example of a healthy mindset to have when approaching women. There are many, many more!

However, if you have something like “I wonder what I should say to make her like me and have sex with me?” going through your mind, you will doom yourself to failure before you even open your mouth once you approach her. Then learning what turns a woman on sexually won’t really help you because you’ll be too much in your head anyway to make any use of it.

Here’s what turns girls on sexually in general:

The basic and most important things that turn women on are touch and imagination. When you make use of these things the right way, women will start showing many signs that they like you and want you to make a move on them.

Let me show you exactly why.

Why Kino is Essential

Kino (aka physical touch) will always turn a woman on sexually because it’s the prerequisite to any intimate contact. Without physical touch, there will never be any sexual intimacy between people. It’s simple biology and the thing that everyone is wired to respond to.

Incidentally, this is where a lot of guys who are new to seduction screw up and become friend-zoned as a result. Because how are you supposed to make the girl want you sexually if you are afraid of even touching her?

That is why Kino is massively important in seduction and learning how to be successful with women in general. However, it has to be proper touch and not some weird or creepy “hover-hand” type of thing. Otherwise, you will be labeled as someone who’s not very comfortable around women or even that you’re a pussy.

If you show hesitation and doubt when you’re touching women, they will never be turned on sexually. Because they’ll see that you don’t have what it takes to progress that touch to something that they’ll enjoy even more. It’s important to understand that women want a confident sexual partner.

Also, it’s not just any touch that will turn a girl on sexually because even friends and buddies touch each other on occasion. The key difference between something platonic and sexual is where you touch them and how sensually you do it.

For example, if you touch someone’s elbow, that’s considered normal and there’s nothing sexual about it. However, if you bush the back of your hand slowly against a woman’s cheek while you’re keeping intense eye contact with her, she will definitely feel turned on if she likes you. That’s why it is important to distinguish between normal and intimate as well as sensual touching when learning what turns a woman on sexually.

So, to turn a girl on sexually when you’re on a date with her, start off slow and eventually escalate your touching. Make sure to show her that you’re a physical guy and that you’re comfortable with touching women and when they touch you as well.

Gradually escalate your touch from regular platonic kino to putting your arm around her, grabbing her around the waist to pull her in, etc. Then, when you see that she’s very comfortable around you, start making your touch more intimate.

To turn her on further, begin touching her in places where platonic friends would never touch her. This means her neck, thighs, lower back, ass, face, etc. The more you do it, the more turned on she’ll become and the better chances you’ll later get to have sex with her once she likes you as much as you like her.

With practice, this will become easier and easier. Learning how to touch women properly to turn them on sexually is one of the main goals that you should have when you’re trying to become successful with women. I’ll repeat this again; showing any and all women that you are a physical guy who is comfortable with touch is crucial.

ways to find out what turns girls on

A woman’s Imagination is key to turning her on sexually

Another crucial thing to understand when learning what turns a woman on sexually is that sexual arousal begins from people’s thoughts. Both men and women can easily get turned on if they start thinking about having sex with someone who they like. However, this is often much more pronounced in women rather than men because men are much more visual.

Why do you think that romance novels and similar stuff are extremely popular around the world? The answer is very simple, these books ignite women’s romantic and sexual imaginations without much effort.

Also, why do you think that one of the biggest turn-ons for women is to have sex while blindfolded or tied? Because it makes their imagination go into overdrive. Men, on the other hand, don’t enjoy having sex like that too much because they get more turned on when they see a naked female body.

But here’s the key to women’s sexual imagination: If a woman starts thinking of having sex with you, then you’ll probably get laid with her.

That’s why such a great technique to turn a girl on sexually when you’re on a date with her is to move the conversation onto increasingly sexual topics.

However, if you do it right from the start when you’re just getting to know each other, it will come off as weird, creepy and too forward. To ensure that she responds very positively to such conversation topics, you have to make sure that she already likes you and finds you attractive. So, only do this when you’re in the later stages of the date when you already see that she enjoys your company.

In any event, if you want to get laid, the goal of your date should be to have the girl your with to begin imagining having sex with you.

There are many different ways to accomplish this, but several of my favorite ones are through storytelling, setting up intimate roleplaying scenarios, playfully teasing them, being very sexually direct, or through being masculine and dominant.

All of these ways create massive sexual tension if done right. And creating and then maintaining sexual tension is absolutely crucial to getting laid on dates and using what turns women and girls on sexually to your advantage.

How to find out what turns girls on sexually on your date

Finally, there may be several very specific things that turn certain girls on sexually. You should know how to find that out without being very creepy or weird if you want to connect with women and get laid more often.

One girl may find that huge, muscular and hairy men turn her on, while the other becomes wet when she sees a hipster guy who’s rocking the manbun. Another girl may become turned on when a guy touches her neck, while some other girl will become really horny when you whisper something softly into her ear and grab her very dominantly afterward.

Basically, while two of the main things that turn all women on are physical touch and their imagination, each woman will still have something very specific to her that makes her horny and want to have sex with you. That’s because each woman is her own individual and will prefer different things according to her personal taste.

That’s why it is crucial to learn how to find out what turns her on sexually during your date, so that you can later show her the best time in bed that she’s ever had.

My three favorite ways to find out what turns women on intimately are:

  1. Through storytelling.
  2. By asking increasingly sexual and intimate questions.
  3. Through creating certain roleplaying scenarios.

However, remember that when you start talking to women about sex, they will very likely begin to shit-test you because they’ll want to see if you’re really serious and can handle the pressure. If you know how to handle shit-tests that they throw at you, you’ll enjoy massive success.

Now, let me explain how each step works.


This is a way to find out what turns women on in a sexual way that’s very easy and not complicated at all.

During your date, you simply start telling each other various stories about the interesting things you’ve experienced in your life. You can even mix up funny, witty, exciting or otherwise special stories about your friends or strangers that you think are fascinating and interesting.

Be sure to ask her to tell you something interesting she’s experienced or knows about. Then, when you’ve both shared some stories about your life, you can gradually begin to make them more intimate.

To make your stories gradually more sexual, include one that’s romantic and has something to do with your ex-lovers, friends with benefits or even past girlfriends. Make sure it’s tasteful and not raunchy or she won’t find it interesting at all and you’ll seem like you’re bragging about your past conquests.

Then, tell a story that includes some kind of awesome sexual encounter. This will have a few benefits; she’ll see that you’re comfortable with your sexuality and that other women enjoy having sex with you. Now, you may think including a story like that will harm your chances, but women are very attracted to men who other females have selected as their mate.

After that, you can gradually tell more explicit stories and tell her what it is about women that turns you on specifically. Progress the conversation towards asking what turns her on when it comes to men, and she’ll most likely tell you because your whole conversation suddenly took a more intimate and sexual turn. If she likes you by this point and your stories are interesting or sexy enough, she’ll tell you about everything that turns her on.

She’ll also start imagining having sex with you by this point, which is exactly what you want since it’ll get you much closer to your goals.

Direct questions

This way of finding out what turns a girl on is quite simple as well.

In the later stages of the date, when she’s already attracted to you, you start asking her innocent-sounding questions.

Stuff like “When did you have your first kiss?” is great, to begin with. After that, something like “What turns you on the most when you look at a man?”

Then, ramp it up further with questions like “What do you like to wear when you go to bed?” and “Who do you fantasize about when you’re alone?”

After that, you can ask questions directly related to sex, like “Where was the craziest place you ever had sex?” and “What’s your favorite position?”. If she’s comfortable enough with you by this point and finds you attractive, she’ll gladly answer.

Lastly, to find out exactly what turns her on sexually, you can now simply ask her because you’ve already talked about sex freely. A simple question like “Where is the only one place a guy should touch to turn you on?” would be very appropriate here.

As well as, “What do you need to happen for your orgasm to be absolutely mind-blowing?” Or if you’re more direct, asking her “What should a guy do to make you wet right now?” will do the trick. She’ll tell you everything you want to know if she likes you enough.

Moving your conversation onto sexual topics like this is a great way to build sexual tension. Just remember that you should never start asking such things if you’re not sure that she’s already very attracted to you or you’ll completely blow it! In the beginning, you should only be asking simple non-sexual first date questions to get to know her better and build rapport and a connection.

guy and girl laughing

Roleplay Scenarios

This way to find out what turns hot girls on is my absolute favorite one because it’s so much fun for everyone involved if you do it right! However, it depends entirely on your personality, sense of humor and how playful and witty you can be on the fly.

Improvisation is not for everyone but it’s a very powerful tool when you combine it with sexual intent. It’s a very quick way to make women wet and turned using imagination and anticipation. In fact, it’s something bad-boys usually do without even thinking about it and a big reason why they’re attractive.

Basically, you make up a silly, absurd or an incredible scenario for you both to participate in. For example, you can tell her something like “Hey, we’re going to fly to Thailand tomorrow. I’m gonna pack you up into a suitcase so that you don’t have to pay for your ticket and hope we’ll get through the customs without anyone noticing. When we’re in Thailand, we’re going to visit all the ladyboys together and you’ll tell me which ones turn you on the most so that we can gather them all and have the biggest orgy the country’s ever seen!”

The sky’s the limit when it comes to stuff like this, as absurd as such a scenario may sound. However, if she’s game and likes how you present everything to her, she’ll dive right into the roleplay scenario and things will become extremely interesting and entertaining for the both of you. At this point, use your imagination.

Make sure to ask her what she likes and dislikes about ladyboys and what she thinks about women who have penises in general. Ask her if she’s ever thought of having sex with a woman before. Then, play into the scenario a little further and ask her what kind of penis she enjoys in bed.

Since it’s all going to be a part of the scenario she’ll very likely answer all of these types of questions with ease. Make sure to tease her as much as you can on her answers and ramp up the physical touch. She may even become super horny and you can take her somewhere private for a quickie!

Now, to someone looking into this type of conversation from the start things will look entirely ridiculous. However, depending on if you can pull off the playful vibe and get her to play along – this can be one of the most powerful techniques that will get you laid extremely fast.

That’s because you’re free to pretend to be anyone and you can pull her into this roleplay and get her to play out things with you that she’d never do with someone else. You can take this situation to absurd extremes and ramp up sexual tension as well as turn her on and make her extremely horny with easy because for most women their sexual desires are a huge part of their imagination. Here’s exactly why roleplaying on dates is amazing and why you should consider using it if you quickly want to spike women’s emotions and make them very attracted to you.

2023 TL;DR Update: 8 ways to find out what turns women on

I re-read this post in 2023 and compiled the following list of 8 ways that quickly tell you what turn-ons women have. Just make sure she likes you and finds you attractive before you start doing most of these things:

  1. Start with easy questions and gradually turn up the heat. Ask her about the things she finds attractive in a guy, or what her first kiss was like. Then, slowly ramp it up with questions about the importance of passionate sex in a relationship and whether she considers herself a sexual person. Keep pushing the boundaries with inquiries about the craziest place she’s ever had sex or her favorite sexual position. The key is to be consistent and build up to more explicit questions over time. Feel free to come up with your own creative queries too!
  2. Share stories! This is a more subtle approach but can be super effective. Talk about your own experiences and gradually bring in stories of past relationships, flings, and one-night stands. Just make sure to keep it tasteful and focus on how those encounters made you feel rather than bragging about conquests. Eventually, ask her about her own experiences and let the conversation flow into what turns her on.
  3. Celebrity crushes can be a fun way to explore her desires. Ask her about her celebrity crush and what specifically turns her on about them. Then, smoothly transition into discussing what gets her excited when it comes to regular people like you and me.
  4. Get playful with roleplay. This is one of my personal favorites! It’s not only fun but also helps establish a deep connection and sexual tension. Create scenarios where you can talk about sex openly with your date and explore each other’s fantasies.
  5. Physical touch is a game-changer. It’s essential for building intimacy and getting a sense of what she enjoys sexually. But remember, she needs to be attracted to you for this to work without creeping her out. When the chemistry is there, start touching her in a more sensual and intimate way. Ask her if she likes it and let her guide your hands to where she wants to be touched. From there, you can naturally lead the conversation to broader sexual topics and discover what really gets her going.
  6. Dive into sexual fantasies. If she’s already attracted to you, asking about her fantasies can be a powerful way to uncover her desires. Encourage her to describe them in vivid detail, and don’t be afraid to share your own fantasies first if she’s a bit shy. Leading by example can open the floodgates to her deepest desires.
  7. Embrace your dominant side. Now, this one’s a bit tricky to explain, but it taps into the dynamics of masculinity and femininity. Many women are drawn to masculine men. Use your touch and words to show her your strong masculine presence, creating intense attraction and sexual tension. Once the connection is there, invite her to share everything she enjoys when it comes to sex.
  8. And finally, the best way to find out what turns a girl on sexually is to let her show you. But here’s the catch: You need to create an amazing date experience where she’s totally into you and can’t resist the temptation. Instead of rushing into bed right away, keep the sexual tension high. Ask her to demonstrate what she likes and desires before you dive into the full experience. Trust me, it’ll make the whole encounter more explosive, enjoyable, and unforgettable.


To recap everything, the most important things women respond to sexually are when you touch them and engage their minds and fire up their imaginations.

Then you can find out what makes them horny specifically by either asking questions, telling stories which lead to sexual experiences or by creating awesome roleplay scenarios that eventually involve sex.

There are, of course, many other ways to find stuff like that out, but these three are among the best and most powerful ways to find what turns women on sexually.

Trust me, most women enjoy sex as much if not more than men do. And there’s always a dirty side to nearly every girl I’ve encountered. You just have to know how to touch them properly to arouse them and then use their imaginations to get them to think about having sex with you.

We’re all human beings who enjoy sexual intimacy and having sex is at the very core of our wants and needs.

It’s basic biology, so you need to remove your doubts that women are these precious creatures who think sex is vile or dirty and embrace your sexuality so that they can embrace their own!

When you become unapologetic about your sexuality and embrace it, you’ll be much more successful with women!

When you show them through your actions, words and behaviour that you’re non-judgmental when it comes to sex and that you’re comfortable with talking about it and feel that it’s very natural behavior, women will love you dearly for it.

Finally, if you want to know what to do on dates to create a deep connection with women, establish strong rapport, spike their emotions and build massive sexual tension so that you eventually get laid, head to SaulisDating right now to secure your dates.


saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.


  1. Anonymous
    February 23, 2018

    good stuff as usual. keep it up, man!

  2. February 7, 2022

    Hi do you want to date me and I like to ask you no if you like to phone sex

    • January 29, 2024

      Dude this isn’t a site to get dates, it’s a site to learn about dating 😉

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