How do you affect other people when you walk into a room?
Do they brighten up, feel uplifted and happier due to your presence and positive vibes that it radiates? Or are they suddenly drained of emotions and look morose?
The way you affect other people with your presence is massively important in how successful you are going to be with women, and other people in general.
Good vibes are going to make things much easier when talking to people, as opposed to negative vibes that you can put out with your presence.
This may all sound like hocus-pocus mambo-jambo to some people, but the fact still remains – your presence is a real thing that affects other people!
There are a few different presence meanings and definitions, but the three most important ones for dating and relationships are the following:
- air, appearance, aspect, aura, bearing, carriage, comportment, demeanor, ease, poise, self-assurance
- A person’s bearing, especially when it commands respectful attention
- The quality of self-assurance and effectiveness that permits a performer to achieve a rapport with the audience.
That last part has a couple of implications. When you are talking to other people – you are the performer and they are your audience. Even if it is an audience of just one.
You show that audience who you are – and then see whether they like you or not.
In case your audience is a girl who you’re interested in dating, your goal is to be interesting, exciting, funny or even weird enough to entice her, grab and keep her attention, then attract and seduce her.
Not with gimmicks, lines, canned stories, and other superficial bullshit – but with your personality, wit, and sense of humor!
Incidentally, the following article will significantly help you with that – Why Role-playing on dates is amazing .
In any case, I’ll explain presence in more depth and show you how to develop a strong and commanding one in a later article, but first let’s take a look at vibes:
Vibes meaning is simple: it’s the feelings that you get from someone’s presence.
This means that positive vibes are the positive feelings that you get from someone when they enter or are in your vicinity. Usually those positive vibes manifest themselves in feelings of joy and happiness, without knowing the reason why.
I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed at one point or another in your life that people seemed to become happier around you for no apparent reason. It happened because you radiated only good and positive vibes that particular day.
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Now that I know about vibes and presence, what does it help me with?
Two words – state transference!
Whatever you are strongly feeling – people around you are going to feel as well!
How strongly they feel it depends on you and your emotions.
In attraction and seduction, whatever you feel during a date, she will feel it as well! Most people who are successful with women know this.
Once you’re aware of this, you can learn how to use it to your advantage when on a date. If you start thinking and then feeling certain things – then naturally projecting certain vibes through your body language, demeanor and bearing – girls will start feeling those things as well.
So how do you put this into practice?
One option is to apply Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), but it’s quite complicated. I’ll explain a much simpler way below.
CBT is a technique that relies on changing your thought pattern to affect and control your emotions.
Its goal is to change patterns of thinking or behavior that are behind people’s difficulties, and so change the way they feel. It is used to help treat a wide range of issues in a person’s life, ranging from sleeping difficulties or relationship problems, to something like drug and alcohol abuse or anxiety and depression.
It means that you can basically learn to control your emotions with your thoughts! The core principles of CBT are identifying negative or false beliefs and testing or restructuring them.
This can help you in many ways – it can, for example, help you deal with nervousness, anxiety and shyness, or even be used to create a sexual vibe. I’m in no way affiliated with the CBT page I linked, I just found that it contains a good description of this technique.
Anyway, what we’re mostly interested in are the practical applications – how you can use this technique to positively influence your dates and make them go much smoother than usual!
So how can you quickly apply this on your date, right now, without studying the technique?
Here’s one example:
How to create a Sexual Vibe
When you’re at a later point in the date, where the girl is already attracted to you – you can easily create a sexual vibe by doing the following:
By imagining her naked and all the things that you’re going to do to her when you get the chance. Clearly and vividly, in your mind.
This will significantly increase any sexual vibe that there is, and your sexuality will ooze out of you and will affect her as well. She will start getting more and more aroused, possibly blush, and will wonder why this is happening! Just smile knowingly to yourself and maintain a slight smirk when you do this, she’ll ask you something like “What?” or “What’re you thinking right now?” or “Why are you smiling like that?”.
Just reply with something like “Oh, nothing much, just random fun stuff” and smile even more to yourself, or “Ahh, can’t tell you yet…not here at least… maybe I’ll tell you later 😉 It’s stuff about you, but I don’t think you’re ready to hear it yet” – or something similar, it doesn’t matter what, it’s up to you.
This will drive her completely crazy with anticipation – she will start feeling even more aroused and won’t even know why!
It’s a simple technique that creates massive sexual tension as well as arousal, which you can later utilize to make out and even sleep with the girl if you want to.
Most people who are successful with women know this and use it consistently, once the girl already likes them.
Another little trick to radiate a sexy presence when you’re in a room, is to simply imagine the following, as vividly as you can:
Imagine that you noticed a gorgeous girl just outside of your line of sight, who bent over just to show you that she has no panties on, and then smiled at you.
If that doesn’t give you a sly, sexy and knowing smirk, along with a shine in your eyes – you may need to have your libido checked!
The point is to get YOURSELF into a sexual state – so that it later radiates outwards. Just don’t do it in a creepy or overly perverted way.
I explain all of this in great detail in my book on How to Consistently Get Laid on The First Date, and show you several exact techniques with many examples on how to create a sexual vibe – and later, the all-important sexual tension.
The name of the book may be a little misleading – it’s not about how to “score lots of girls” – it’s about improving yourself as a person and being honest, genuine and authentic with women, about developing your masculinity and attractive character traits. But once you do this – you’ll get laid pretty much whenever you want.
In any case, without strong sexual tension, you won’t be able to sleep with girls on dates consistently! But with all of that knowledge, sending sexy and good vibes becomes easy!
That said, the vibes you project can negatively affect you and your date as well, if you are constantly preoccupied with various negative thoughts.
Why Negative Vibes will ruin your date
It’s quite simple – similarly to positive vibes, any strong negative emotions you are feeling while on a date will be projected onto the girl as well, and she will start feeling them as well.
It’s the same thing when you feel really frightened, uneasy, awkward, hesitant, or super shy about something – she will pick up on those emotions from your general behavior and body language and realize you don’t have your shit together as a person.
And guess what? Women tend to not like nor respect people who don’t have their shit together.
But there’s an easy way to avoid this – just don’t go on dates when you’re in a rotten mood!
So if you have arranged a date and something terrible happened to you in the meantime that had a significantly negative impact on your mood – do yourself and the girl a favor – call her and explain – tell her you’ll meet her another time. If you’re overly negative, no one is going to have any fun and you’ll probably completely screw everything up anyway.
Don’t force dates – they’re meant to be lighthearted. You’re meant to have fun on dates, see if you click and get to know each other a little bit. You can’t do that in a negative mood!
Good Vibes Only
Conversely, always try to go on dates when you feel great – you’ll find your dates go much smoother, and your chances of success automatically become much higher, by the simple fact that if you feel great – it will all be projected onto her as well – and she’ll feel great!
It will show in how you behave yourself, your body language and posture, your eyes, the way you speak, etc. – and your presence will radiate positivity.
I know this may sound like a fairy tale to some of you, but ask anyone who’s exceptionally successful with women – they’ll tell you that this is incredibly important and that it works.
And imagine how you can use this knowledge to your advantage. If you practice enough and control your emotions, you will be able to influence the minds of your dates and make them feel all sorts of things!
It’s not emotional or mental manipulation – it’s simply feeling something so strongly yourself, that your date can’t help but feel it too, to some extent.
And as we all know, emotions are the main currency of attraction! That is exactly why bad boys are so adored by women!
Why Positive Vibes are important in a Relationship
It’s the little things. Positive people have other positive people around them. If you’re someone who exudes a positive vibe naturally and effortlessly, people are going to want to be near you.
People will enjoy your company more.
In relationships, this is important because it will prevent you from poisoning the well, so to speak.
Imagine your relationship with your partner as a well with water, where you and your partner get their drinking water from, daily.
The emotions that both you and your partner feel during your day to day lives are going to be absorbed by that water and affect its quality.
That water may be pure and refreshing in the beginning, when everything is new and fresh and exciting – and it can stay that way forever. But if you both have a lot of problems and experience many negative emotions as a result – it may eventually turn to poisonous muck, if you feed it with enough negativity!
Eventually, if your mutual well overflows with that poison, you can kiss your relationship good-bye because it will be ruined!
Most people tend to experience many different emotions throughout their daily lives, both good and bad ones. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that – that’s just how life is.
But if you always experience more negativity in your life than positivity, it will eventually affect everything you do, affect your presence, the vibes that that presence radiates outwards, and then people around you.
Your partner will start feeling the negative effects, and subconsciously start to believe that something is wrong. If this goes on for too long, your partner will start losing attraction, respect and love towards you.
So don’t let that happen!
Constant negativity, if unchecked, will drain the life out of you and poison all of your relationships.
On a more positive note, once you realize this, you can use it to have better dates, relationships, and life in general.
So what kind of vibe do you put out when you enter a room? Do people perk up or ignore you? Have you noticed that one day you’re positive, and another you get people down?
Share your experiences in the comment section below and I’ll give you some feedback!
And don’t forget to sign up for my Full Inner Game Course for Free by joining my newsletter – it will teach you how to exude a positive vibe!
Share the knowledge with your friends and don’t get left behind while others have all the fun.
You can also grab my book at http://www.saulisdating.com and learn how to achieve this level of mastery.