How Long Should A First Date Last For Best Results?

Do you know how long should a first date last if you want to get the absolute best results?

Well, it kinds of depends on if you’re looking for a long term relationship with the girl you’re on a date with. Or if you’re looking to have some fun between the sheets and are more interested in a casual hookup.

During my decade of actively dating around, I’ve been on several thousand dates. And they lasted anywhere between just 20 minutes before we hooked up, to pretty much the entire day, over 12 hours.

Point is, a really successful first date can last for as long as you want. As long as you’re able to connect with the girl you’re with on an emotional level, have fun with her, and then create enough attraction and sexual tension so she falls hard for you. And how long that lasts depends on how great your mutual chemistry is, as well as on your social and seduction skills.

Below, I’ll explain it all in detail and show you the difference between very short and long and extensive dates. So you know exactly how long you should be out together during your meet.

The First Date Should Last For As Long As Necessary To Build A Connection

First and foremost – there’s no “ideal” length that a first date must be. So don’t think you need to spend a certain and specific amount of time to have a great date with a woman, especially if your goal is to get laid quickly.

That’s because each and every single date you have will be a bit different. Since each woman you’ll meet is her own individual with a unique personality and will have her own wants, needs, likes, dislikes, dreams, desires and so on and so forth.

young guy and girl are on a long first date sitting at a cafe, girl is looking at him and listening intently

However, despite the fact that all women are different, many of them still enjoy similar things.

Point is, no matter if they’re average girls or really high value women, they all pretty much enjoy having fun and sharing a good time with a great guy.

So, if you’re charismatic, fun, exciting, interesting, witty and similar great things – and know what you’re doing when it comes to creating attraction and sexual tension – then your dates will go smoothly and fly by pretty quickly. Unless you’re specifically looking for something very serious and want to really connect on a deep and personal level with the girl. So she thinks you’re her soulmate.

That’s why you should first have a clear goal in mind.

First, figure out your goal

Now, the difference between how long your dates take should depend entirely on your goals.

As I said before, your date can be really great and you can end up sleeping together in as little as 20 or 30 minutes. If you’re at a place where you can get some privacy.

Most of my dates where we were both looking for something casual have lasted shorter than an hour. Not counting the time having sex, that is 🙂

But if your goal is a serious relationship – then I urge you to take your time together to really connect on a deep and emotional level.

Your date shouldn’t last very long if you want to hook up

Thing is, many old school pickup artists believe that in order to sleep with a girl, your date has to last, on average, around seven hours. Because apparently that’s what it takes to build attraction, rapport, trust, comfort and sexual tension.

Personally, I think that’s not true at all as I’ve had many amazing dates where we ended up hooking up that lasted way shorter than that.

Basically, we met up, started vibing, checking each other out, testing our boundaries, senses of humor, teasing each other, flirting, creating sexual tension – and that’s it.

All of this usually takes less than an hour. And by the time we’re done “sniffing each other out” and decide that we want to hook up, we’re going to my place or hers.

That’s why if you’re just looking to hook up and nothing more, then I encourage you to have very quicker dates that last around an hour or two at the most.

That’s because if the girl has sex on her mind – you talking about various deeper things will just knock her off her game. If she’s already aroused, horny and wet, you’ll dry up her panties really quickly by not capitalizing on her arousal.

That’s why going out for drinks is PERFECT for such a date – especially if you meet on Tinder with the sole purpose to hook up. Because it’s casual and implies you’re just there to have fun and then get laid.

attractive man and woman who want to hook up with each other are in a bar drinking wine on a first date

If you’re into something serious, take as much time as you need!

Now, if your goal is to get a girlfriend or even an eventual wife, then you can pretty much spend the entire day together. As long as you’re having fun and enjoying each other’s company!

There’s literally no time limit for a date if you’re looking to really connect as soulmates and get into a long-lasting relationship.

I’ve had many great dates where we met and spent the whole day together. And then she came home with me and we had sex and after that slept until the next day. When we woke up, we fucked again and then spent the whole next day together as well.

In fact, I think my longest “first date” lasted for 3 days because we met on a Friday and then spent THE WHOLE WEEKEND together. And on Monday morning, she left for work.

So, make no mistake, there’s definitely NO TIME LIMIT for a first date, as long as you’re both having a wonderful time together.

I mean, why cut it short? If you’re both having lots of fun and loving it, there’s no point in ending it very soon.

So disregard what the “dating gurus” tell you that you should spend some specific amount of time. And just spend as much time as you’re both comfortable with to achieve your goals.

Final Thoughts on first date length

Take it from someone who’s been on thousands and thousands of dates – as long as you’re HAVING A GREAT TIME with the girl – there’s no time limit for how long a first date should last. Even if it’s one where both of you are just after sex.

However, there’s a small exception to this rule because some women have the goal to get laid and NOTHING ELSE. They just want sex and don’t care who they have it with, as long as he’s attractive. And they DON’T want to know about you or your personality.

If you meet up with such a woman – you can simply do a vibe check for 5 minutes, confirm that you’re both not some maniacs or dangerous people – and then go to your place or hers.

That’s what happens in clubs sometimes, essentially. For example, at the end of the night, when people have had some drinks in them and are just horny and want to fuck. They basically grab someone who also wants the same thing and then go home with them.

I’ve had several dates from Tinder where we just met at a public place so she confirms I’m not some weirdo. Then we do a quick vibe check and a bit of banter and leave together for somewhere private in as little as a few minutes.

So once again, it’s all about your mutual goals and how quickly you both align with them.


saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.

Be First to Comment

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *