Approaching Girls Who Are With Friends – How Do You Do It Properly?

So let’s say you’re at a bar or even on the street and you see a girl who you really want to approach. But she has a friend with her. What do you do in this situation and how can you seduce her?

Approaching girls who are with friends is extremely intimidating to most guys. So I get this question a lot: How do you approach a girl with a friend beside her?

The answer is pretty simple but definitely not easy: You engage with both of them and focus on the friend more than on the girl you want.

Let me explain how this works in great detail. So you’ll be able to approach women who have their girlfriends beside them much more successfully.

How To Approach A Girl Who Has A Friend Beside Her

First of all, a woman’s friends are important. And a woman’s best friend is one of the most important people in her life. Because her best friend has to sign off on ALL big relationship decisions.

Obviously you won’t know if the girl your target is with is her best friend or not without asking that. Which you can and should do, given the opportunity. But you should treat her as if she was your target’s best friend nonetheless. You treat her with dignity, respect, and make sure she has a good time in your presence.

That’s because once you win over her friend and then leave – if she thinks you’re a great guy, she will do most of the seducing for you. When you leave the conversation, they’re going to talk about you and how you made them feel.

If you made her friend feel great, she’ll be like your cheer-leader and hype you up to her friend who you’re interested in. And push her to call you, answer your texts and basically date or hook up with you. THAT’S how powerful and important best friends are, so you can’t afford to mess it up.

So how should you approach women who have a friend by their side?

two women friends playing pool at a bar waiting for a man to approach them and talk to them

You don’t wait for eye contact from any of them to “gauge their interest” because that’s completely irrelevant. You don’t need permission to talk to them. What you do is simply go up to them and talk to both at the same time, but focus on the friend.

More details on approaching girls who are with friends just below.

Make it known who you’re interested in but focus on the friend

Obviously, if you’re a great seducer and have great game, you can go for a threesome. But that’s too difficult for most guys to do.

So right from the start, making your target clear will increase your chances of success significantly.

When you decide which girl it is you’re interested in, start giving her a harder time than the other one. Flirt with her, but also focus on teasing her, calling her out on things, challenging her in playful ways.

However, when you’re engaging with her friend, be extremely friendly with her, show nice manners, call her “nice” and various similar type of safe descriptive words. So she gets the right idea.

This difference in how you talk to them, this difference in dynamic will make your target known to both of them. Which will make things much easier and less ambiguous.

Next, use their close relationship to your advantage to build attraction with the girl you’re interested in. You can flirt with her this way and playfully tease her about the various things you find out about her from her friend.

A great way to do this and to win the friend over at the same time so she doesn’t think you’re being rude is to talk directly to the friend.

You can say stuff like “You seem to be great friends, I gotta ask, is she always this silly or just around guys she really likes?”

Or stuff like “Does she always stare at guys like this? I don’t know if I should be scared or turned on! It’s like a piece of meat and she’s hungry!” To playfully tease your target and endear yourself to the friend.

Playful and observant statements and questions will make the interaction very memorable for everyone.

If you isolate the friend, things will not go well

If you’re approaching women during the day, isolating her friend or ignoring her will not go well for you.

Sure, it might look like she’s okay with it and isn’t bothered by the fact you ignore her. The girl you’re interested in may even really like you and start ignoring her friend as well. But as soon as you leave, her friend will make sure you don’t get anywhere near her again.

sad girl feels left out from a conversation when a man approaches her and her friend
Her friend will be sad and feel left out if you just focus on the girl you want

She’ll start telling your target how you don’t seem like a good guy. She’ll tell her every little detail she noticed about you that’s bad or wrong. And she’ll bad-mouth you every chance she gets, especially if you’ve been rude to her.

What’s more, pawning her off to one of your friends isn’t an ideal alternative either. Even though it’s doable and preferable in some situations.

That’s because if you isolate them completely, your target’s friend won’t learn anything about you. She won’t get to see what a great guy you are, she won’t have the chance to connect and vibe with you. Which means she won’t act as your cheerleader when they’re later hanging out.

Just remember, this is more for day game and not night game.

During night game in bars and clubs, when you approach a girl who has a friend beside her, it’s often better to pawn her off on a wing. If they’re both out to get laid and have fun that night.

But during the day, connecting with both is the name of the game, so don’t you forget that.

Also, if you focus more on your target and don’t talk as much with her friend, she’ll start feeling bored. And if she gets bored enough, she’ll do her best to derail your interaction with the girl you’re interested in.

People will tell you approaching girls who are with friends is hopeless

Fact is, most guys who are not successful with women and who don’t have much experience will tell you to move on in this situation. They believe approaching women who are with friends is a fool’s errand. Because it supposedly makes things very difficult.

But that’s not really the case. In fact, if you know what you’re doing, it actually becomes easier to seduce the girl you want if she has a friend with her.

That’s because it’s very easy to showcase your personality by engaging with her friend. You can easily consider her as one of your buddies. Which makes it very easy to have fun, shoot the shit, engage in playful banter and life everyone’s spirits up.

And as I said before, once you do this, her friend will become like your cheerleader and will make things much easier.

When you approach a random woman on the street who’s alone, she’ll often have her guard up.

In bars and clubs it’s different because most women go there alone to find someone to hook up with. But when you’re cold approaching on the street or outside clubs and bars, you’ll see that women guard themselves against strangers.

That’s why it’s much easier to approach two or three women who are friends. Because they will all feel much safer in your presence. They’ll open up easier and will let their guard down and trust you much faster. So use this to your advantage when you’re learning how to approach a girl with a friend.

Also, many guys will suggest you have a wingman to talk to the friend. But that just brings more unnecessary chaos if it’s a guy you don’t go out often with and know is legit.

Final thoughts on how to approach a woman who has a friend with her

I’m glad you want to learn the art of approaching girls who are with a friend. Men rarely do this and even more rarely do it well. So the fact that you approach a couple of girls or even three is impressive.

No matter if your approach bombs or succeeds, they’ll still respect you for having the balls to do it. Because we all know cold approach is hard. And we all fear rejection to some extent.

If you’re someone who’s afraid of rejection and has a difficult time with it, I strongly suggest you read my post on beating fear of rejection.

Once you deal with approach anxiety, a whole new world will open up to you.

The thing about bars and clubs is that women rarely go out there alone. Most of the time they’re with at least one friend. But often in a group of friends or acquaintances.

That’s why learning how to approach a woman in a group of friends or who’s with one friend is so important. Because that’s the situation you’re going to face the most when you get serious about cold approaching and seducing girls.

Just remember to befriend your target’s friends and things will be much easier for you.

Good luck!


saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.

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