Should I Go On A Date In A Bad Mood?

Lots of guys ask – Should I go on a date when I’m in a bad mood? Or when I’m extremely tired, unwell, in pain, and generally feeling shitty?

I don’t really know why I have to keep telling this over and over to guys who just don’t seem to get it. But it looks like plenty of guys really are that clueless about dating in a bad mood.


Going on dates with women when you’re in a bad mood is incredibly counter-productive. Yet a ton of guys don’t seem to understand why and keep meeting with women when they feel like shit.

Unsurprisingly, those dates nearly always end in disaster. The girl ends up losing interest and often simply ghosts them.

Then I get emails like “Why did she ghost me? Yeah my dog died yesterday and I went on a date with this girl because I wanted to cheer up. I think we had fun but she just ghosted me after!”

So now I’m going to explain once and for all, in great depth, all the reasons why going on dates when you’re feeling unwell, sad, angry, depressed, exhausted, guilty, frustrated, helpless, etc. is a terrible idea.

Here’s Why You Should Postpone Your Date If You’re Feeling Bad And Not In The Mood

The main point is very simple: When you’re on a date, you’re there to HAVE FUN and to GET TO KNOW HER.

The getting to know her part is okay and you can certainly do it (although definitely not as well) when you’re in a bad mood. But the other part, the arguably more important part where you’re supposed to have a good time together, is virtually impossible to do when you’re feeling shitty.

Seriously, it’s almost impossible to have fun when you’re in a bad mood. Because you’re going to act like a party-pooper most of the time.

What’s worse, if it’s a first date, you’re often going to get only one shot at this. And if her first impression of you is really negative because you’re in a horrible mood, she won’t want to meet with you ever again. She’ll simply go and meet with someone who’s more fun and less of a drag.

She’ll feel bad herself because of emotional transference

The worst part about this is that she’s going to “catch” your negative emotions and start feeling shitty herself.

As I keep telling in my several other posts, emotional transference is a real and powerful thing. And when you’re on a date and you’re in a negative mood, she’ll start feeling those negative emotions herself.

This happens because of empathy. And women tend to feel this much more powerfully than men. Since women, on average, are more emotionally intelligent than men and tend to be better attuned to social cues and dynamics.

Basically, what you’re feeling, she’s feeling it as well.

So if you’re feeling really down, she’s going to feel weird and uncomfortable around you. And her sub-conscious will connect that bad feeling with you. Which will very often ruin your date.

woman in a bad mood feeling negative emotions coming from a man who's also in a rotten mood

You won’t be at your best so you won’t be able to flirt

Another important reason why you should not go on a date in a rotten mood is because you won’t be able to flirt well.

Flirting well requires you being your most charming and charismatic self. Especially if you’re going to start teasing her and eventually creating some sexual tension. And when you’re feeling blue, that’s out of the question.

It’s super hard to be in a lighthearted, flirtatious and sexy mood when you have various negative thoughts floating in your head. Because you’ll lose your focus and mostly think about the bad things in your life.

What’s more, your body language will change for the worse and she’ll notice it right away. You won’t be standing tall, proud and wide, like you should be. You won’t be smiling as much and your eyes won’t have that sharp and piercing quality women love.

Basically, you won’t be able to be on point when you’re feeling down. So your game will really suffer.

You won’t be able to get comfortable together

On top of all of the above, successful seduction requires you to be very comfortable with each other. And when you’re in a gloomy mood, building comfort will be extremely difficult.

For example, physical touch is one of the biggest cornerstones of seduction. And to seduce women the right way, she has to become very comfortable with your touch. As well as with you being close to her.

Well, guess what? When you’re in a cranky mood, your body will be tense. Which means your touch will be tense as well.

The way you touch women tells them a lot about you. And if your movements aren’t fluid, confident and smooth, she won’t like it.

Seriously, you can even try it out if you like. Go up to a female friend or a relative when you’re in a horrible mood and give them a hug. They will notice that something’s wrong with you right away. Just because of your tense body language and how you touched them.

Your body’s sub-conscious communication, micro-expressions and similar things change in a really significant way when you’re feeling bad. And women notice this right away and start feeling the “ick” as well. Which is exactly why dating in a bad mood is not good for everyone involved.

People in a bad mood have a short fuse

The worst part about going on a date in a bad mood is the fact that you’re going to have a short temper.

Fact is, people in a bad mood have a short fuse. Which means you’ll have less willpower to resist various jabs, witty remarks, snarky comments, and even lighthearted teasing.

It’s so easy to misunderstand a joke or a light tease the wrong way when you’re in a negative mood, it’s ridiculous! Because you’ll be more defensive and hypervigilant by default.

And not being defensive when interacting with women is one of the core principals of supreme confidence with women.

What’s more, if you’re feeling frustration and anger, you might even lash out at her and end up in a screaming match. Why would you even want to subject people around you to this?

man and woman in a bad mood, angry and screaming at each other, demonstrating that it's a bad idea dating when you're in a bad mood

What should you do if you have a date planned but you’re in a bad mood?

The absolute best thing to do is to postpone your date.

Call her or text her something like “Hey, I know we have a date planned for today but <this and this> happened and I’m in a rotten mood and not really feeling that well, so I want to reschedule.”

You can even add something like “Your time is valuable and I just know we’re not going to have fun when I’m not in a good mood today.”

If she’s a decent person, she’ll understand this perfectly well and will be more than willing to reschedule. Because no one wants to sit around a person who’s just moping about and feeling miserable.

In fact, she’ll be THANKFUL to you because you won’t be wasting her time.

Plus, you’ll show incredible maturity, vulnerability and self-respect all at the same time. Which will often raise her respect for you significantly. Because not everyone is able to be self-aware like that when it matters.

Her time is just as valuable as yours. So do yourself and her a MASSIVE favor and don’t waste it by spreading around negativity and toxicity when you’re feeling really bad due to life’s events.

Showing emotional maturity will go a long way if you want to become successful with women.

Final Thoughts On Dating When Feeling Down

The main thing to understand is that no one likes to be around negative people.

We all have to deal with life in our own way. And there are plenty of days when something bad happens to us. Something that makes us feel either sad, lonely, angry, frustrated, pissed, exhausted, and a myriad of other emotions that can spread like wildfire and “negatively infect” other people around us.

We’re all human and we all have our bad days. So do everyone a favor and just go chill, relax and go recuperate and cope with your emotions somewhere where you feel good and safe.

And if you can’t do that, then start doing your best to deal with the problems in your life that are causing all the negativity. While putting your dating life on hold for a bit, until you get things sorted out.

If you’re feeling down and think that a “nice date” will cheer you up and put you in the mood – It won’t. It really won’t. Instead of one miserable person, it will just end up with two miserable people in the end, most of the time.

Sure, sometimes it will end really well and everything will be great. But that’s very rare. And if you blow it because of your mood, you won’t really get a second chance with that girl you really like.

So wait until you’re in a great or at least a decent mood. Or put yourself in a great mood. And then go on that date!


saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.

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