How to Get Laid at a Party

So you want to know how to get laid at a party where there are many hot women around?

Then you’re in for a treat! Below, I’ll show you the exact way I used to get laid at pretty much all the parties I go to where there are many single attractive girls. It works great for me nearly every time, and it’ll also work great for you!

I want to explain this topic in depth because I get asked some variation of the following question several times per week: How do I get laid at a party? How to get a girl at a party? How do I hook up with lots of women at parties? How to get off with someone at a party? And so on.

To truly understand how to seduce women at parties and start bringing hot college girls and other beautiful chicks home, you need to learn and then focus on the following very important things:

  1. Outcome Independence
  2. Having Fun
  3. Comfort and Touching
  4. Sexual Tension and Escalation.

When done right, these things alone get me consistently laid at more parties than I can count. It also works perfectly well for my friends and my students who’ve learned how to use these concepts to their advantage.

Let me show you exactly why they are important, how they work, and how to use them all to get laid at almost any party you want, with the girls you find attractive.

It’s a pretty long article because I like to get a little technical when explaining certain concepts. Since a lot of guys who are new to seduction appreciate all the detail. But in the end, I’ll show you exactly how you can get laid at a party — so it’s worth it!

The Key to Getting Laid at a Party.

First off, I’ll explain why it usually doesn’t work out for most guys and why they often don’t get sex at or after parties.

When you’re going out, it’s all about your mindset and attitude.

So, imagine you’re invited to a party. In this case, I’m talking about parties that, for example, students and people between the ages of 16-35 generally throw.

At these parties, there’s going to be many guys and girls. More than likely, there’s also going to be drinking or other recreational stuff involved and everyone will be going there to have fun and to have a really good time.

Or so it would seem…

For girls, that’s true! When most girls go to a party, their main goal is to “have fun”. Which entails listening to good music, meeting new people, having interesting, engaging or exciting conversations and interactions with others, dancing with someone, playing some games, talking some gossip, drinking alcohol or getting wasted in another way. Possibly hooking up with someone, watching something funny happen, getting entertained, and so on.

If even some of these things happen to them – they’ll consider it a good and fun night. Even if they don’t get to dance with someone, or hook up with someone, but still get to do a lot of other fun stuff – the night’s going to be a successful one!

how to get laid image

But hey, guess what? It’s not the same for the vast majority of single men!

If men don’t get laid when they go out – most will consider the night to be a failure. Having a generally fun time is sadly not the most common nor the most important objective for the vast majority of single men who go out!

I did my research on this over the years and talked to thousands of guys from many different countries and age groups about this topic and many other important ones when it comes to women, attraction, and seduction…

Nearly all single men said that they go to parties to see if they can find and score some girls. So our primary motivation to go out is just that – to get girls. That’s just how most guys are, and there’s nothing wrong with it.

But admit it – If you knew you’d get laid some particular night no matter what – for example by a fuckbuddy who would come along in the evening to bang you – you’d rather stay at home and do some other interesting stuff, instead of going out to some party – wouldn’t you?

Don’t get me wrong – some guys genuinely enjoy going out to loud parties, socializing with people, drinking, and having fun. They’re called outgoing extroverts. But they’re not in the majority and they don’t need to know how to get laid at a party since they tend to naturally have well-developed social skills and no psychological problems or insecurities which would prevent them from being great with women.

But that’s not the case for a lot of guys, particularly for introverts. Because stuff like going to loud parties is very draining to introverted people.

The majority of guys would rather spend time on their hobbies, play video games, have fun with their friends in a comfortable setting or do other arguably more important stuff instead of going out to some party to drink and socialize.

So when they DO go out – they mostly have a singular goal in mind – to get some pussy!

And that’s where to core problem lies: when single guys go out, they always tend to have an ulterior motive, right from the get-go.

Having that ulterior motive and nothing else in mind messes with their head in a very significant way! This ulterior motive is at the root of most failures to getting laid at a party.

How to Get Laid in College

Let’s explore what not to do. Having ulterior motives.

Now I’ll explain the psychology behind it and why a lot of guys fail to get laid when at a party.

As we now know, when most guys go out either to a party, club, bar, or whatever – they have a certain goal in mind. Which is to find and meet girls for casual sex, or to find a girlfriend/fuckbuddy.

But having that goal will screw up your whole evening because you will subconsciously impose it onto every attractive girl that you interact with when you’re out. All of your interactions will be going through a filter – and you won’t be seen as someone genuine or authentic.


So, you have to realize one crucial point: As a person, you can only control yourself – you can’t control others . . . Other people are going to do whatever the hell they were going to do anyway, and you can’t change that. That’s why having a goal that involves someone else is incredibly counterproductive to your eventual success of getting laid at parties.

As much as YOU want to get laid, that may not necessarily be the goal of everyone there. Particularly girls who are just looking for an overall FUN EXPERIENCE. Having sex is just a small part of that fun experience, not the biggest part as it is for most guys.

So, remember this: You have zero control over girls. You can influence them to like you – but you can’t MAKE them. That’s because women are human beings and not OBJECTS and because attraction isn’t logical and is not a choice.

If you have an agenda of ONLY WANTING SEX, most girls you talk to that evening will sense it and feel that you want something from them . . . And they will be right because you DO! You’re most likely only going to walk up to certain girls because you thought they were attractive and you want to fuck them.

Now, to be fair – there’s nothing wrong with having a goal like that. Because quite often, the direct approach works very well, especially in clubs and other loud venues if you know what you’re doing and are very congruent with it.

However, if that’s your ONLY goal while you’re at a party, it’s going to ruin your whole night out. Because parties are a marathon and not a sprint and because with only that goal in mind you’ll give off a creepy vibe.

And this isn’t the only way having an ulterior motive that you subconsciously impose on women you talk to will screw you over when you’re at parties.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a quick reality check: If the hot girls you talk to at a party would just cut to the chase and go home with you to bang right away – you’d be very grateful and glad, wouldn’t you? That’s pretty much any guy’s dream – to quickly get through all the bullshit, and just score the girl…

It would save you a lot of time and effort and would be great if all the girls at parties would just want to bang you without you having to put much effort into it. But don’t forget the inherent hypocrisy in this that you don’t even care to get to know the girl before banging her!

And the girls see right through that, in everything that you say and do. Your subconscious communication will let them know of your ulterior motive and you’re going to fail before you even open your mouth.

So yeah – actually focusing solely on getting sex is NOT how to get laid at a party, if you want to do it consistently.

Here’s how it looks from the girl’s perspective:
girl sitting near window wondering about a party

Imagine you’re some hot girl at a party and some random guy walks up to you. He finds you attractive, and it’s very obvious that he wants to get into your pants. Sure, you think it’s cute that he wants to sleep with you, as most guys do. You instantly get validated and feel attractive and pretty. And you’d probably want to bang him too if he’s got his shit together and can show you a good time.

And so you try to have a chat with him, to get to know him, and see what he’s like. You ask him various questions, throw in a shit test or two to see what kind of man he is and if he can handle pressure. You even throw him some subtle signs that you like him to see if he’ll notice. But the more you talk to him, the more you realize that his mind is preoccupied with one thing and one thing only – how to get you home, right now, as fast as possible. Other than that, he doesn’t give a single shit about you, he’s going to say anything and do anything it takes to get you to go home with him because that’s all he wants from you.

And suddenly – POOF – just like that, all the novelty, the excitement, and the magic of the moment is gone!

And as soon as you realize that the guy will do or say anything to get you to go home with him as fast as possible – you know you’ve got him. There’s no more chase, no more game, no more fun, and no more interest. You realize that the guy is so fixated on that one goal that it’s not fun talking to him and interacting with him anymore. And since all the mystery is gone, you label him as a desperate creep, a weirdo who only wants one thing. A creep who’d bang any girl as long as she’s attractive. As a consequence, you instantly lose any and all respect and attraction towards him.

You’ve figured him out completely, and there wasn’t even much there to figure out in the first place. He’s just a lame, predictable fuckboy – one of the grey masses.

So, unless he’s super hot, incredibly hung, or massively wealthy and you’re a gold-digger or all you want that night is a quick fuck – he’s done!

Why do women get turned off when you only want sex?

Simple – there’s no more excitement left when a girl figures you out. And when you have only one simple motive and goal – it’s pretty fucking easy to figure you out.

You can try and hide it as much as you like, but that sort of desperation reeks like a cheap perfume. People will notice it and lose any interest in you. And very often, you won’t even realize that you’re doing anything wrong. But you may see certain little signs that no girls at the party want to talk to you or even be near you. They’ll be drawn to other people, who don’t reek of this desperation and one-sidedness.

It’s like walking around with a sign on your forehead which says “I’m just here for sex, with anyone, whoever will have me, so please sleep with me”. It shows that you have zero fun and zero value to offer, and just want value in return. In this case, the value you want is sex.

But why would ANY girl in her right mind want to give it to you, if you can’t offer anything else in return?

Sure, awesome sex is of great value to a girl as well, but it’s just one part of a great evening. And usually, it’s not even close to being the most important part. And besides, how will she even know if you’re great in bed if you can’t display your sexual confidence through flirting, teasing, playful banter, physicality, and other similar stuff…

Women want an EXPERIENCE. Most women don’t want just a quick hump to let off some steam like most men do.

So when you only have one single goal of getting laid in mind when you’re at a party – you close yourself off to having any sort of meaningful interactions with other people. You don’t offer “the full experience” to any girl that you meet, and as a result, you do not get laid.

And then you want to know how to get laid at a party because no one seems to be interested in going home with you . . . Well, now;s the part where I tell you how to do this the correct way.

Just remember, if you interact with women to achieve an objective rather than just to enjoy the process – you’ll only rarely get laid because you won’t be offering her the full experience that is you. The second you start trying to get laid, neglecting everything else, you doom yourself to fail.

Phew… now that I’ve gotten the explanation of the core psychological stuff out of the way – let’s get down to all the practical stuff of how to get laid at a party.

Here’s what you do to consistently get laid at parties

You may succeed at fast seduction at parties if you just approach in a direct manner, make a lot of fuss, make out, and pull the girl, all while being very congruent with your actions and words. But you won’t be able to pull this off consistently. Direct games a very numbers-heavy games, and not all women respond well to it, especially shy or sexually repressed girls.

So, remember what I said at the top about how to get laid at a party, and do it on a very consistent basis:

  1. Outcome Independence
  2. Having Fun
  3. Comfort and Touching
  4. Sexual Tension and Escalation

All in that order.

Let’s start with Outcome Independence.

Basically, being outcome-independent means that no matter what response a woman gives to your advances, the final outcome of your interaction with her does not affect how you feel about yourself as a person. You’re fine either way.

Before you even interact with ANYONE at the party, you have to employ a couple of key mindsets:

  • One – never decide to sleep with a girl before you actually find out who she is.
  • Two – go into any interaction thinking “Whatever happens, happens”.

First – Whenever you approach any girl at a party, instead of thinking of what to say to her to impress her or to get her to like you, or any other silly stuff that most men who have already decided beforehand on sleeping with the girl before talking to her think – have something similar to this go through your mind:

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“I like how you look – you’re gorgeous! But are you actually a good person underneath all those amazing looks? Let’s find out!

This little mindset alone will do wonders for you. You can even SAY it if you’re congruent with it: “Hey, you look lovely today, so I came over to talk to you and see if you’re also a great person and not just a pretty face . . . I’m <whatever>, and you are?”

That way, you’ll be approaching beautiful women at the party because you want to see if they’re actually a decent person or not. And not because you instantly want to fuck them due to their looks alone. And guess what? The girls will notice that you have STANDARDS – that you won’t sleep with just any attractive woman at the drop of a dime. They will see that you are not desperate, that you aren’t simply out to get laid like most guys are. They’ll realize that you actually CARE to see who THEY are before putting YOUR dick inside them.

That’s one of the keys of how to get laid at a party and do it on a consistent basis. In fact, it’s one of the keys to being successful with women in general; treating women like PEOPLE and not OBJECTS.

But you have to believe it. You actually have to have standards and not just be a horny teenager who would fuck anything that moves, even if the girl is a vile, ill-mannered, spoiled, bratty, fucked-up or twisted person. Yes, there are many hot girls who are not very nice or decent human beings, just as there are many who are very pleasant. So get genuinely interested in finding that stuff out before you make a decision to sleep with them. This is important in learning how to get laid at a party, or anywhere else for that matter!

Get into the habit of first finding out who the girl is, and only THEN decide if you want to sleep with her or not. Then no girl will ever be able to assume that she’s figured you out and that she’s got you by the balls right from the start.

Remember, when a girl knows that she’s got you – that you’re hers and that you’ll do anything for sex – it’s over. Seriously, this realization is very important if you want to learn how to get laid at a party or any other venue.

Second – Thinking “Whatever happens, happens” will remove any and all neediness, desperation, and other similar bullshit from your interactions.

Think of it like this:

  • If any of your interactions with women end up with a hook-up, a date, or something else – that’s great!
  • If they end in nothing but a friendly conversation – that’s awesome too – because you can make new friends like that, practice your conversational and social skills, and even save their phone numbers for later use to expand your social circle, or maybe even get set up with one of their hot friends!
  • If your interaction ends up with brutal rejections or the girl screams at you or slaps you, or does some other incredibly exaggeratedly bad thing that you can imagine happens when girls reject you – that’s perfectly fine too! Because you will get a lot of experience out of that, gain more reference points to your interactions, see what you did wrong, get a chance to learn and calibrate yourself for LATER – and then improve yourself. All your bad interactions will eventually make you better because failure is the best way to learn.

With this mindset, every interaction is good, and every outcome is agreeable because you get something good out of all of them! You either get what you want or learn.

Now that you’re done with the mindsets and have become outcome-independent, you move on to the second part.

Having Fun!

This is where the marathon part comes in. You having fun at the party is how you bring VALUE to it. Seriously, fun is the only real value at any party.

I can’t really tell you how to have fun at parties because it’s all subjective and different for everyone. You have to figure that stuff out on your own and find for yourself what makes you have fun at parties.

For me, personally, it’s always fun meeting someone new and unknown. Among many other things, I have fun telling random silly jokes, anecdotes, doing pranks, playing an occasional competitive and challenging silly game with the people at the party: arm-wrestling, beer-pong, Uno, charades, whatever . . . I like party games. You may like something else.

But here’s the important thing about fun and parties with girls and how to get laid at them: Whenever you enter a new party – people who don’t know you are going to want to know why you’re there and who you are. They’ll keep an eye on you and occasionally look and see what you’re doing.

This is only for parties, because in clubs and similar venues – no one gives a shit about who you are and why you’re there, simply because there are too many people 🙂 Parties, on the other hand, are a more intimate beast. If people at the party see that you don’t give a damn about anything else but meeting new people and having fun with them right off the bat, you’ll be accepted much faster and people will trust you more. They’ll also be much more comfortable when around you, which is key to being intimate with someone eventually.

So, most importantly, at the very least for the first half of the party – focus on having fun and meeting new people – and nothing else! 

how to get laid consistently image

Seriously, go fucking MINGLE! Get out of your comfort zone, meet everyone who’s there, introduce yourself to everyone and just get to know them without any ulterior motive other than just to see who’s who.

All the girls at the party will notice this fact. And trust me – it’s very attractive for them and quite refreshing when they see a guy who’s just there to unabashedly be himself, have fun, meet new people for the sake of meeting new people and bring joy to others and talk about random bullshit just for fun.

So do all that, go have fun, and wait till the party starts to wind down a little bit. Then, when the party eventually slows down and people get more chill, relaxed, and tired – and they start sitting down and getting more comfortable – that’s when your game begins.

Comfort and Kino

By now, you should already have noted and picked a few girls that you’re interested in sleeping with. So just go and sit down next to one of them and focus on building comfort and a deep connection with them.

They’re already attracted to you because you didn’t try to “pick them up” before this like most other guys do. Because you just focused on having fun, you radiated abundance, lack of desperation, high standards, being socially competent while talking to everyone, and so on and so forth. Basically, by having fun and not focusing on getting laid at the party at all costs, you’ve already given a shitload of value to everyone and built enough attraction to warrant the girls to become intrigued by you and want to get to know you better. That’s a crucial step in learning how to get laid at a party because it instantly puts you above the other guys who did the opposite.

So at this point, you just sit down next to the girl you want. Or, if she’s standing somewhere, walk up to her and say something like “Hey, I wanna talk to you, come with me – let’s go sit down somewhere more comfortable”. Then take her by the hand and lead her to some couch or sofa or whatever, where you can both be comfortable sitting and talking to each other. It’s pretty much like isolation – if you compare it to club game.

And then you simply start with all the standard comfort-building stuff. And don’t forget – lots and LOTS of Kino!

Now that the girl actually LIKES you because she’s seen you have fun and thinks that you’re a wonderful person with a great, interesting, and fun personality – you can start asking her about whatever you want to get to know her better. You can ask deeper, more personal stuff, and she’ll tell you everything you want to know by this point. Because why wouldn’t she? Up to now, you weren’t creepy, overly sexual or weird. And that’s all they want to know about you to decide that you’re a cool dude.

Now, I’m not going to write all the different ways to build comfort and establish a lot of touching here. Because that would make this article twice as long and I got all of this covered in my book already. So I’ll just briefly mention Kino and we’ll move on to the last part of how to get laid at a party consistently.

Regarding Kino – don’t forget that you simply will not get laid if you don’t establish comfortable (and later sexual) touching between the two of you. Without any physical touching – she won’t have any real lust and sexual attraction towards you.

So don’t be shy – and show her that you’re a very physical guy who’s comfortable around women.

Hooking up at a party

Once you’ve spent time building that all-important comfort, getting her trust and establishing lots of physical touching between the two of you and getting her comfortable with it – you move on to the most important part of getting laid at parties.

When you see that she can’t get her eyes off you anymore – you start ramping up the sexual tension. And then you escalate, escalate, and fucking ESCALATE.

Building sexual tension is pretty easy. You can change the whole vibe towards something sexual simply by imagining her naked, right then and there, and how you’re going to fuck her in all the different positions and how she’s going to suck your dick and that sort of thing. When you blatantly imagine all that stuff in front of her, while looking at her, you won’t be able to help yourself but smile knowingly. And she’ll notice it and ask you what’s going on because that facial expression will say more to her than you ever can with words alone . . .

If she asks what you’re thinking about, just answer with something like “Oh, nothing much, just some random fun stuff about you, I’ll tell you later” or some other bullshit. Then watch it drive her insane with anticipation and arousal. Or don’t answer at all, and build the anticipation and tension even more. It’s all up to you and your personal style.

In any case, State Transference is a real and powerful thing, and she’ll start feeling those sexual vibes as well.

Then you simply throw in a couple of sexual comments, spice up the conversation with a few innuendos and sexual remarks. Ask her some intimate questions, touch her in all the right places . . . and just watch how she gets all hot and bothered.

And then you escalate. Mercilessly.

It’s up to you what you do now; you can go for a full make-out right there if there aren’t many prying eyes or even just take her to the bathroom for a quickie. Or you can cut the make-out short, say that you’ve got a great idea and that you should both get out of here.

And that’s pretty much it; that’s how to get laid at a house party, or any other sort of party where everyone’s going to meet new people. It’s not rocket science, just social dynamics. Now you know the general gist of everything you need to do if you want to get laid at the parties you go to.

However, this article is the abridged version because explaining exactly how to establish comfort, kino, and then how to build sexual tension and escalation would require a separate VERY LONG article for each one. But all of this is enough to know how to get laid at a party that you go to on a very consistent basis. All you have to do now is go out and apply this knowledge and practice.

How to Fuck a Girl at a Party

You now know how to get laid at a party, but obviously, sometimes things won’t go as planned. That said, the more you do this, the better you’ll become at all of this.

Sometimes, the girl just won’t be feeling it. But hopefully, you’ve picked out more than one potential partner from the party, so you can go to the next one and do the Comfort and Touch + Sexual Tension and Escalation bit all over again. You did all the attraction, priming, and other stuff with the first two steps, which will affect EVERY girl there. Now you just need to do the last 2 steps and you’re going to get laid at that party more likely than not.

Sometimes, some girls will be sexually repressed, simply too shy, or too nervous to give in to this. Or, they may have some principles against hooking up right away or against one-night stands. There’s not much you can do about it but move on or get their number and meet them later for a date.

I can’t really remember a party where this approach didn’t work for me, provided that there were actually girls there that I was genuinely interested in. And that’s because I got good at this the more I did it and the more experienced I became. And then I taught the whole thing to many guys who were struggling (along with exactly how to establish Kino, create comfort, sexual tension, escalation, and various other things.) And after a little practice, they also got laid at pretty much all the parties they’ve gone to.

So trust me when I say it – it’s not that hard and you can do it too. Provided that you put enough time and effort into learning how to get laid at a party, and then go and practice everything. But don’t forget that you also have to have a pleasing appearance or you’ll give off a bad impression. Don’t neglect yourself, make sure to groom yourself and go hit the gym or do other forms of exercise to increase your chances even further.

Good luck!

Oh, and if you’re too shy, nervous, anxious, and afraid to simply have fun and go talk to people – then you really need to get your insecurities and self-esteem issues handled before doing all of this. So that you can actually talk to girls and not seem like an inept imbecile with zero social skills. For that, I suggest you sign up for my newsletter to get a full Inner Game course, for free.

Getting your inner game handled is the most important part of all of this, and not just for learning how to get laid at a party. That’s because Inner Game is like 80% of your success, whereas techniques and other stuff are not as impactful.

Finally, if you’re getting tons of numbers at parties and want to learn what to do with the girl on your date, click the image below:

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Be sure to share this knowledge with your friends who’d also like to get laid at parties by clicking the social media buttons below. If they get laid because you showed them how to do it, you’ll have a buddy for life!

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saulisdating Written by:

Andrius Saulis has over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience and expertise in the field of Dating, Seduction, Relationships and Social Dynamics. He's helping men all around the world get rid of their insecurities, regain their high self-esteem and confidence, and become successful with women. He teaches men how to attract and seduce women not through manipulative tactics, but by being their genuine, authentic and charming selves, while exuding a flirty, confident and sexy vibe that women can't get enough of. Learn how to have a flawless first date with The Saulis Dating Guide to get as many serious or casual relationships as you want.


  1. Dat Man
    September 7, 2018

    Totally agree, you need to be having fun or they won’t want to be around you. Smile, laugh, mingle, and see who sticks

  2. emerald wilson
    December 19, 2018

    Great article with really insightful info. Thanks!

  3. BADApps
    February 8, 2019

    My personal opinion is communication is the key to huge success in dating.

  4. bongstar420
    March 16, 2019

    I don’t want to go to the party. It is dumb. It is loud. It smells bad…being there validates it!

    The only way to enjoy this is to be retarded.

    • saulisdating
      March 17, 2019

      Sure, to each his own. Some people like and enjoy parties, others don’t.

  5. Jack
    July 3, 2019

    Great dating advice! Love all of the content, its great quality. The tips are easy to apply and actually work. Its improved my relationship, my life so much. You are a great dating coach. Its so amazing that this great quality content is also free.

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